Mitchell Pearce ignores advice and ‘goes there’ on Roosters’ crowd numbers

Dane Eldridge Columnist

21 Have your say

    Mitchell Pearce has provocatively made mention of Roosters crowd numbers, despite receiving specific warnings as to the topic’s sensitivity in a brief from advisers.

    With tensions simmering in the approach to Sunday’s highly anticipated homecoming against his former club, the Newcastle playmaker was urged to “not mention the war”, with a specific section included in the brief in all-capital letters demanding he “DON’T UPSET POLITIS.”

    The directive was served to Pearce as a reminder of the volatility around the subject of Roosters’ attendances, a long-time cultural sensitivity for the foundation club that has generated constant memes at their expense since 1908.

    Advisers initially decided against gagging the former Rooster, believing he would be mindful of stigmatising a club he departed less than five months ago. Then they recalled how he once thought it wise to sledge Johnathan Thurstonand make love to a puppy.

    As such, Pearce was instructed to refuse all questions about attendances, with a strict directive issued to only discuss sanitised topics such as “the boys” and “shapes.”

    But despite pleading from his aides, he ignored the advice and insultingly called for a “good crowd” before mentioning how the Newcastle team “seem to get a lot more than the Roosters fans.”

    The wholly accurate comparative ranking from Pearce has plunged the two clubs in to a diplomatic crisis, with the Roosters threatening to impose sanctions on the Knights such as extraditing their large number of expats, or providing shitty parking for Sunday.

    Mitchell Pearce

    (Photo by Tony Feder/Getty Images)

    The reaction by Roosters supporters to Pearce has also been swift and brutal, who despite suffering through his drunken incidents derailing seasons and AWOL performances in crunch matches, are considering his factual observation as the final straw.

    Some fans have condemned his ignorant slur on attendances as one that further stigmatises their club as one “so rich it doesn’t care”, while others are directing their law firms to concentrate on suing his next three generations of family.

    Roosters fans will also seek an injunction to rewrite the club’s history books to hold him responsible for the one-marker policy and the signing of Willie Mason, because you “just don’t go there.”

    Additionally, all historical newspaper mountings in the club featuring Pearce will be rewritten as “the time he bummed a smoke from Craig Coleman to torch his 2013 premiership jersey.”

    While acknowledging this could be a slight over-reaction to a blase and probably unintentional one-liner from a former favourite son, a spokesperson for the fans asserted that “if you take everything out of context, you’ll see he always hated the Roosters.”

    “Despite representing the club in 238 games, steering them to a premiership and declaring he never wanted to leave, he always wanted to leave” the spokesperson said.

    “He used and abused this club, and then callously abandoned us with nothing more than an all-time legendary halfback.”

    Dane Eldridge
    Dane Eldridge

    Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man on Twitter @eld2_0.

    Getting hassled by a parent or partner about spending too much time playing video games? Now, you can tell them the story of how some ordinary gamers scored $225k for just seven weeks of work.

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    The Crowd Says (21)

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 6:54am
      Duncan Smith said | March 22nd 2018 @ 6:54am | ! Report

      To be fair, Fri 6 and Sun 6.30 are the two worst timeslots for crowds.

      • Columnist

        March 22nd 2018 @ 9:25am
        Dane Eldridge said | March 22nd 2018 @ 9:25am | ! Report

        The club’s been dudded by these timeslots for decades

        • Roar Guru

          March 22nd 2018 @ 12:55pm
          Cadfael said | March 22nd 2018 @ 12:55pm | ! Report

          How many decades has the 6pm Friday starts beeb around? After daylight savingfinishes, most Sunday 6.00pm starts will also stop.

      • March 22nd 2018 @ 10:17am
        Paul said | March 22nd 2018 @ 10:17am | ! Report

        so now they have 2.30 on a Sunday afternoon and they still won’t turn up.

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 9:18am
      Haradasun said | March 22nd 2018 @ 9:18am | ! Report

      Roosters crowd numbers have always been well under the salary cap.

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 9:42am
      Kevin said | March 22nd 2018 @ 9:42am | ! Report

      Hahahhah it’s all true. ..i even recall Lex Marinos..something like ;

      Abc: lex , nice day for a does the crowd look many are there

      Lex: hang one I’ll just pop down and count them!

      • Columnist

        March 22nd 2018 @ 10:43am
        Dane Eldridge said | March 22nd 2018 @ 10:43am | ! Report

        Sounds like the way they used to count them in the Super League days

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 10:38am
      kk said | March 22nd 2018 @ 10:38am | ! Report

      Elementary my dear Eldridge.

      Supercars created the most exciting circuit outside of your old glory days town of Bathurst.
      Novocastrians liked being liked. Success tasted good.

      Next on the agenda was to rejuvenate their Knights. The new front office looked to the heavens
      and discovered the Star of Ponga. Recruiters then signed a pack of discards from the East where
      Supercars are not the go, unless one considers Rolls and Bentleys would fill that void. The only
      compensating connection being that the East has a Ford man at the wheel.

      Mitch, the son of a great has a PhD in human error and his mistakes are voluminous.
      For the first time in his career he now has a vision splendid of thinking it through, doing it right.
      The Hunter air has cleared his lungs to give voice to his opinion and urge his team to maximum
      effort. There is a certain irony that this game is the last on the card for round 3. I wish him well.

      For those who can make it this game is best viewed live. Hope the relatively long drive home
      is OK, especially for the early starters the next day.

      • Columnist

        March 22nd 2018 @ 10:44am
        Dane Eldridge said | March 22nd 2018 @ 10:44am | ! Report

        Eloquent stuff, kk. Thank you for bringing some class to this article

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 12:27pm
      Chook Fan said | March 22nd 2018 @ 12:27pm | ! Report

      Ok, I’ll bite.

      Yeah, the Roosters had lousy crowd numbers in the Lex Marinos era. But that followed the devastation of losing an entire generation of our squad to Manly in the 80s-90s, pre-salary cap. And a decade at the bottom of the comp. Fatty Vaughtin, anyone? Followed by Gus Gould and rebuilding for 2 decades. But we know a good triple-mocha-choca-soybean-latte, and did top crowd numbers for Sydney teams in ’17 and ’15. Moreso, if you consider Home & Away (rivals come to see the good teams play). Chooks fans are riding the Pearce bus big-time (just not this week). Knights the second adopted team. Praise be to Big Artie and H.G. eat your heart out.

      • Columnist

        March 22nd 2018 @ 12:49pm
        Dane Eldridge said | March 22nd 2018 @ 12:49pm | ! Report

        Excellent work, Chook Fan. The stigma will only subside through the good work of people like yourself

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 12:38pm
      AJL. said | March 22nd 2018 @ 12:38pm | ! Report

      Very good Dane.

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