Super Rugby Round 9: Golf analogies and subway tunnels

Brett McKay Columnist

By Brett McKay, Brett McKay is a Roar Expert


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    The Hurricanes head to Auckland to face the Blues. (AAP Image/SNPA, Ross Setford)

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    Are you a golf fan? Geoff Parkes and I are. I don’t know if Digger is, but I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t have the patience for golf.

    Nobes? Nobes could be the sneaky one who doesn’t let on he plays off scratch until after you’ve sprayed your first tee shot having agreed to play for ten bucks a hole.

    There’s a relevance here, and anyone who watched the US Masters last weekend will quickly pick up on this.

    My recovering from 1/6 in Round 7 to picking the Round 8 card is pretty much identical to Sergio Garcia shooting 13 on the 15th hole at Augusta National on the first day and then following it up with a birdie on the par-three 16th ten minutes later. Exactly the same. Unprecedented comeback.

    And remember the up-and-down graphical ‘underground subway tunnels’ illustration of the mid-table teams on Tuesday that brought out more golf analogies, including a resemblance to my general approach to a green? Well, I reckon those very same illustrative graphs would equally apply to our tipping.

    Nobes would be the flat line across the top, with the rest of us all over the place below him. What a week it’s been…

    Last week
    Perfect sixes for Geoff and me, five for Digger and The Crowd, and lowly threes for Nobes and Harry. Which means yet more positional change behind our Argentinean leader!

    Nobes 35, Geoff 33, Digger and The Crowd 32, Brett 31, and Harry 30.


    Hurricanes, Blues, Rebels, Highlanders, Reds, Sharks
    How quickly the euphoria from tipping a perfect round is replaced by the fear of once again exposing yourself to tipping ridicule. Oh well…

    The Canes are a different side without TJ Perenara, but I’ll take replacement half Jamie Booth at his word that he’s been working this week on kicking without the need to take a couple of steps first. The return of Beauden Barrett outside him might just help too.

    Last year’s Tokyo humiliation will help the Blues get over the Dogs this time around, while it’s hard to see anything other than a comfortable Rebels win against the Jaguares. Ditto the Highlanders over the Brumbies.

    My most vivid rugby memory from the SCG is that of Peter Grigg scorching away for a try against the All Blacks. Will it be Taqele Naiyaravoro or Filipo Daugunu doing the scorching this time around? I’m backing the Reds to bounce back in a minor upset.

    The Bulls are hard to catch and are well capable of an upset in Durban. But after a month on the road surely the Sharks won’t blow their chance to start accumulating a few wins.

    Sure things
    There will be a lot of respect shown this week. A lot. And inclusion too.

    Vince Aso

    (Kerry Marshall/Getty Images)


    Hurricanes, Sunwolves, Rebels, Highlanders, Waratahs, Sharks
    What surprises you most in my line? I reckon this is only a one-upset week. When games look pretty clear-cut, it’s usually because they are. And the two obvious upset games in my mind are the Mighty Moondogs and the Blues, plus Highlanders-Brumbies. And I’ll come back to both games shortly.

    The Hurricanes look a bit sharp for the Chiefs to me. Once Damien McKenzie went off last week, they really lost their spark. He’s been named again this week, but the Canes will know that the key to getting on top of the Chiefs is getting on top of McKenzie.

    Rebels will be too good for the Jaguares, who strike me as worse travellers than the Bulls. Waratahs look too strong and with too many points for the Reds, though they’ll still have their coach’s stinging post-match words ringing in their ears as they run onto the hallowed SCG turf. And the Sharks will bring far too much confidence from their tour for the Bulls in Durban.

    A week ago I’d have thought the Highlanders would carry a fair advantage over the Brumbies on their form at that time, but the Brumbies’ stunning win over the Reds closes that gap. To the point that even though I give the Brumbies a huge chance, home-ground advantage leans me toward the Highlanders.

    Which means the designated upset this week is indeed the Sunwolves over the Blues. The consistent inconsistency of the Blues leaves them ripe for the picking. And I reckon we all know a Sunwolves win is coming. So let’s have it this week, thanks, rugby gods.

    Sure thing
    At least two upsets. Maybe even just two favourites getting up. A 13-on-Sergio’s-card rough week.

    Sunwolves super rugby

    (Matt Roberts/Getty Images for Sunwolves)


    Hurricanes, Blues, Rebels, Highlanders, Waratahs, Sharks
    I hate the fact this week looks relatively straightforward. It makes me nervous.

    As was pointed out to me this week, I wonder if both first-choice first-fives will be out this week and replaced by their brothers. Now that would surely be a first. Anyhow, Canes by plenty.

    I will back the Blues in Tokyo, but I really cannot do so with confidence while the balance of the round is all about home sides for me. Rebels, as I don’t have any reason to consider the Jaguares away from home. Highlanders under the roof is a no-brainer, and Waratahs at home seems the sensible bet in these derbies.

    And the Sharks have been eye-catching of late and I expect that to continue back home in Durban against the cattle.

    Sure thing
    Time for reverse psychology, Asafo Aumua will not score his first try of Super Rugby this weekend.

    Maddocks Melbourne Rebels

    (Atsushi Tomura/Getty Images)


    Hurricanes, Blues, Rebels, Highlanders, Waratahs, Sharks
    Round 8 left me with all kind of questions and insecurity. The games that I tipped correctly were almost not correct, with the exception of the game in the land of the rising sun. They made me sweat until the last minutes and one of them beyond regular time.

    On the other hand in the games that I did not tip well, the margins were huge. So I must find out how on earth Geoff and Brett had perfect rounds. Peaky blinders?

    For Round 9 I have to go back to basics – if there is such thing in this edition of Super Rugby – and tip all the home teams with the obvious exception on the game to be played in Japan.

    I have some flies in my stomach with the Canes and Chiefs game. TJ or the Barrett brothers are not playing, but on the other hand there are some doubts on the health of Damian McKenzie, so it will be a matter of who is healthy and the depth of each team to successfully replace the injured ones.

    No worth talking much about the game that involves the Blues; they should take this one.

    Jaguares will not be able to recover fast enough from the physical game they played against the Crusaders and the jet lag they went through to get to Melbourne, where a rested and hungry Rebels team is waiting. Highlanders are too much of a force for the Brumbies in the game to be played in Dunedin.

    Waratahs vs Reds is not an easy tip. The home team will be up against a big pack of forwards ready to redeem themselves for what happened to them against the Brumbies. This one will keep me awake until it is finished.

    Finally, the Sharks will try to show their home crowd that what happened on the tour will not happen at home, and all the good things they do on the field can translate into a positive result. The Bulls are a good test for them.

    Sure thing
    Drama will continue in this round.

    TJ Faiane Blues

    (Phil Walter/Getty Images)


    Hurricanes, Blues, Rebels, Highlanders, Waratahs, Sharks
    I am in tipping hell. I have to look at myself in the mirror and… make a change. I will reorient myself.

    I need to be more decisive. In the Brisberra derby an Aussie commentator came up with this rhetorical gem: “Aw, mate, that decision might turn out to be decisive”.

    Tautology wrapped in caveats! The ‘might’ turns this word salad into a big bag of nada. My decisions have been indecisive. So I tried tipping all the away teams except the Sharks. Guess who won?

    This week I’m going to tip all the home teams. Except the Blues! It always seems to come down to these flaky Blues and bipolar Sharks.

    So, it’s all home sides except the diminutive, mercenary, ‘four wins out of 36 games’ Sunwolves.

    Am I crazy? Is my home town’s dehydration sapping my feeble brain?

    Sure thing
    When you lead by six and you try not to lose, you often lose. All you really have to do is play to score again. Even a three. And then you win.

    Get your votes in now – The Crowd’s tips will be revealed Friday afternoon AEST.

    What have you got, Crowd? Who gets your tip? Got a sure thing yourself? Let us know in the comments below, and enjoy your rugby this weekend…

    Brett McKay
    Brett McKay

    Brett McKay is one of The Roar's good news stories and has been a rugby and cricket expert for the site since July 2009. Brett is an international and Super Rugby commentator for ABC Grandstand radio, has commentated on the Australian Under-20s Championships and National Rugby Championship live stream coverage, and has written for magazines and websites in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and the UK. He tweets from @BMcSport.

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    The Crowd Says (81)

    • April 12th 2018 @ 8:42am
      Carlos The Argie said | April 12th 2018 @ 8:42am | ! Report

      Didn’t the Jaguares travel terribly last year when they played the Waratahs?

      I still don’t know which Jaguares team will show up.

      With the YAFIL away, I’ll make more times for SR. No March madness, no other distractions. She comes from near the town of Pinehurst, North Carolina, a famous golf town, but doesn’t play. My mom is a different matter. You don’t want to bet when you play her. She will pretend she’s this nice old lady and then destroy you.

      • Columnist

        April 12th 2018 @ 10:26am
        Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:26am | ! Report

        They did indeed win, and won in Melbourne the week after, too. To that point, they’d won 4 of 11 away games, and they’ve lost both away games this season too. Reckon the point stands pretty comfortably, Carlos…

      • Roar Guru

        April 12th 2018 @ 1:06pm
        Nobrain said | April 12th 2018 @ 1:06pm | ! Report

        The Jags are having all sort of problems in their trip and will arrive to Melbourn Thurday at noon after spending a full day in Chile due to fog. Not a good sign.

        • April 12th 2018 @ 3:50pm
          cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:50pm | ! Report

          like this ….

          ” Travel chaos: A 55 hour journey to play a game of rugby is hardly ideal but that is what Cardiff Blues had to contend with ahead of their clash with the Cheetahs in Bloemfontein. Open the Twitter thread below for the story of what a nightmare few days it was for the Welshmen.

          Cardiff Blues journey to SA timeline;

          Wednesday afternoon – Arrive at Heathrow for flight to Johannesburg.

          Wednesday night – Flight cancelled, spend the night in a LHR airport.

          Thursday evening – Fly to Jo’burg

          — Cardiff Rugby Life (@CardiffRugbyWeb) April 6, 2018 “

        • Roar Guru

          April 13th 2018 @ 3:43pm
          ThugbyFan said | April 13th 2018 @ 3:43pm | ! Report

          NoBrain, sometimes they seem to be playing in a fog also. 🙂

    • Roar Rookie

      April 12th 2018 @ 10:21am
      Paul D said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:21am | ! Report

      “Didn’t the Jaguares travel terribly last year when they played the Waratahs?”

      Yes, but the Waratahs had them beat in the terribleness race.

    • April 12th 2018 @ 10:29am
      Fionn said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:29am | ! Report

      I’d say I can’t believe that you picked the Sunwolves Brett, but fortunately or unfortunately, I can believe it 😛

      • Columnist

        April 12th 2018 @ 10:39am
        Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:39am | ! Report

        it was always going to happen Fionn, just picking my moment – and I reckon the Blues are absolutely ripe currently. A few questions starting the emerge, is Tana the one? is Perofeta the one? where’s Reiko’s best spot?

        This is prime Moondog territory… 😆

        • April 12th 2018 @ 10:42am
          Fionn said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:42am | ! Report

          If you’re right on this, Brett, I’ll never make fun of your tips ever again 🙂

          In regards to where Reiko’s best spot is, I can answer that—not at 12!

          • April 12th 2018 @ 2:33pm
            Akari said | April 12th 2018 @ 2:33pm | ! Report

            Funnily enough, Fionn, I was going the same way too until Brett showed he’s the only brave one amongst our Experts for this weekend’s round. I’ll therefore put the sarcasm card back in my back pocket until next week’s episode.

            Brave, Brett, and the Moondawgs may just do it for you as the Blues are still rudderless with Akira going back to playing like a big brutish kid. There is so much he could learn from Kaino but K is not leading the way IMO.

            • Columnist

              April 12th 2018 @ 3:11pm
              Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:11pm | ! Report

              I reckon Geoff is pretty brave picking the Reds. Mind you, they’re holding just under 40% of The Crowd’s vote currently…

            • April 12th 2018 @ 4:12pm
              cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:12pm | ! Report


              15 Michael Collins, 14 Jordan Hyland, 13 Orbyn Leger, 12 Rieko Ioane, 11 Matt Duffie, 10 Stephen Perofeta, 9 Jonathan Ruru,

              8 Akira Ioane, 7 Kara Pryor, 6 Jimmy Tupou, 5 Josh Goodhue, 4 Patrick Tuipulotu, 3 Ofa Tu’ungafasi, 2 James Parsons (c), 1 Pauliasi Manu

              16 Matt Moulds, 17 Ross Wright, 18 Mike Tamoaieta, 19 Ben Neenee, 20 Dalton Papali’i, 21 Sam Nock, 22 Bryn Gatland, 23 TJ Faiane

            • April 12th 2018 @ 4:19pm
              cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:19pm | ! Report


              1 Daniel Lienert-Brown 2 Liam Coltman, 3 Siate Tokolahi, 4 Jackson Hemopo, 5 Tom Franklin, 6 Shannon Frizell, 7 Dillon Hunt, 8 Luke Whitelock,

              9 Aaron Smith, 10 Lima Sopoaga, 11 Tevita Li, 12 Teihorangi Walden, 13 Rob Thompson, 14 Waisake Naholo, 15 Ben Smith (cc)

              16 Ash Dixon (cc), 17 Aki Seiuli, 18 Kalolo Tuiloma, 19 Alex Ainley, 20 Elliot Dixon, 21 Kayne Hammington, 22 Fletcher Smith, 23 Matt Faddes

            • April 12th 2018 @ 8:42pm
              cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 8:42pm | ! Report


              15 Kotaro Matsushima, 14 Semisi Masirewa, 13 Timothy Lafaele, 12 Michael Little, 11 Lomano Lemeki, 10 Yu Tamura, 9 Yutaka Nagare (c),

              8 Kazuki Himeno, 7 Lappies Labuschagne, 6 Yoshitaka Tokunaga, 5 Grant Hattingh, 4 James Moore, 3 Jiwon Koo, 2 Shota Horie, 1 Craig Millar

              16 Jaba Bregvadze, 17 Shintaro Ishihara, 18 Nikoloz Khatiashvili, 19 Wimpie van der Walt, 20 Willie Britz, 21 Fumiaki Tanaka, 22 Hayden Parker, 23 William Tupou

            • April 12th 2018 @ 8:43pm
              cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 8:43pm | ! Report


              15 Tom Banks, 14 James Dargaville, 13 Tevita Kuridrani, 12 Christian Lealiifano, 11 Chance Peni, 10 Wharenui Hawera, 9 Matt Lucas,

              8 Isi Naisarani, 7 David Pocock, 6 Tom Cusack, 5 Blake Enever, 4 Rory Arnold, 3 Allan Alaalatoa, 2 Folau Fainga’a, 1 Scott Sio

              16 Robbie Abel, 17 Nic Mayhew, 18 Leslie Leuluaialii-Makin, 19 Sam Carter, 20 Michael Oakman-Hunt, 21 Joe Powell, 22 Kyle Godwin, 23 Andrew Smith

          • April 12th 2018 @ 3:04pm
            cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:04pm | ! Report

            i think the Japs beat Blues last year in the last match – by huge margin , right?

            maybe they still remember that one and will play better and win.

            Reiko is a wing – he is still young and has the pace. can come into 13 when he slows down …

            pace never lasts – he has been lucky with injuries. enjoy it while he can.

            even tana started on wing and then came in as he got older and slower.

            • April 13th 2018 @ 9:33am
              Jacko said | April 13th 2018 @ 9:33am | ! Report

              CUW I think the extra skill set Ioane gets from playing at 12 or 13 will do him good. It will certainly increase his distribution skills and will also reinforce his positional play when on the wing. Not sure i want him there at AB level as we have others who are playing there fulltime but it wont do him any harm hopefully

        • Roar Guru

          April 13th 2018 @ 3:49pm
          ThugbyFan said | April 13th 2018 @ 3:49pm | ! Report

          G’day Brett, you should have looked at the predicted weather first. Saturday Tokyo is 18°C and cloudy, perfect Auckland “Summer” weather. last year’s upset the Blues died in the A$$e after half time from the heat, similar to the Rebel’s collapse against the Tahs in April this year.

          I wish you well in your brave prediction but personally I think you should stand like those olde time Roman gladiators did and state “We, who are about to get smashed in tipping, salute thee”. 🙂

          • Columnist

            April 13th 2018 @ 4:17pm
            Brett McKay said | April 13th 2018 @ 4:17pm | ! Report

            Haha, that did make me laugh, Thugby!

          • April 14th 2018 @ 12:02pm
            Akari said | April 14th 2018 @ 12:02pm | ! Report

            ““We, who are about to get smashed in tipping, salute thee”. 🙂”

            Gold, ThugbyFan

    • Roar Guru

      April 12th 2018 @ 10:35am
      Harry Jones said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:35am | ! Report

      A 2-iron is a very useful tool in a bar room brawl. I love golf. Lowest score wins!

      • Roar Guru

        April 12th 2018 @ 12:25pm
        Nobrain said | April 12th 2018 @ 12:25pm | ! Report

        Well Harry, you have defiantly chosen a difficult iron to drive a ball.

      • April 12th 2018 @ 2:05pm
        Highlander said | April 12th 2018 @ 2:05pm | ! Report

        Good use for 2 iron

        Absolutely no use on an actual golf course

        • April 12th 2018 @ 2:57pm
          cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 2:57pm | ! Report

          useful in mini-golf 😀

        • Roar Guru

          April 12th 2018 @ 3:35pm
          Harry Jones said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:35pm | ! Report

          It’s nice to use when you find yourself in the woods, and wild animals are near

          • Roar Guru

            April 12th 2018 @ 4:18pm
            Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:18pm | ! Report

            Obviously you’re referring to a Sth African 2 iron??

          • April 12th 2018 @ 8:22pm
            cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 8:22pm | ! Report

            or if ur driving and get lost in one of those un-policed areas … !!!

        • Roar Rookie

          April 12th 2018 @ 4:05pm
          Paul D said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:05pm | ! Report

          Useful in an electrical storm also to hold above your head, since not even God can hit one.

          • Roar Guru

            April 12th 2018 @ 4:19pm
            Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:19pm | ! Report

            Dunno Paul… God has been in great form this week 😉

      • April 12th 2018 @ 2:59pm
        cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 2:59pm | ! Report

        @ Harry Jones

        in all seriosness – u got to stop betting like that silly Ferrari F1 driver. 🙂

      • Roar Guru

        April 12th 2018 @ 3:01pm
        Timbo (L) said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:01pm | ! Report

        There is a clever joke that I will probably butcher

        Something about if you get caught out on a golf course in a lightning storm, hold up your 2 Iron

        … Not even God can hit a 2 Iron.

        • Columnist

          April 12th 2018 @ 3:07pm
          Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:07pm | ! Report

          The famous Lee Trevino line…

          • Columnist

            April 12th 2018 @ 3:47pm
            Geoff Parkes said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:47pm | ! Report

            Funny you should mention Lee Trevino…

            Was at our regular weekly trivia night last night and there’s a ‘last man standing’ segment in the middle section where one person from each team has to go up, a question is asked, and it goes round in a circle, players dropping out if they get an answer wrong or repeat an answer already given.

            The question last night was to name ‘golfers who have won a US Masters’

            I was going along swimmingly, other players dropping like flies as I hit them with Larry Mize, Mark O’Meara, Mike Weir and so on, until it was down to the final three, and I still had a couple of sneaky ones up my sleeve, so thought I’d run with an obvious one that hadn’t been said… Lee Trevino.

            Which promptly had me sat down, a loser! Turns out he won 6 majors, 2 each of the British Open, US Open and US PGA, but no Masters!

            You learn something new every day…

            • Roar Guru

              April 12th 2018 @ 7:59pm
              Harry Jones said | April 12th 2018 @ 7:59pm | ! Report

              He couldn’t draw the ball!

              • Roar Guru

                April 13th 2018 @ 12:12am
                Harry Jones said | April 13th 2018 @ 12:12am | ! Report

                Won six majors with a banana slice

    • Roar Guru

      April 12th 2018 @ 10:38am
      Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 10:38am | ! Report

      Firstly… hearty congrats Brett, and of course, yes, DrP, for both your perfect last round picks. And, likewise Brett, for your lead call on ABC Grandstand.

      Big w’end in the McKay household eh! 🙂

      Don’t want to think about what was going down in the Parkes’ penthouse… halfbacks with hand on ball stuff. Spare me. 😉

      To continue the golfing analogy… it’s moving day for this round. We’re either gonna go forwards or backwards. It is the nature of the beast. And as Diggeriwi alludes to ‘this week looks relatively straightforward. It makes me nervous.’ Like sheep nervous?

      So be as it may… but I’m just hoping/ wanting for my beloved Tahs to smash those thorny invaders from north of the Tweed. Especially as the match is being played on hallowed turf at the SCG. And as this rivalry has been going on since 1882… people round ‘ere have long memories.

      C’arn da Tahs… move on up!

      • Columnist

        April 12th 2018 @ 11:29am
        Geoff Parkes said | April 12th 2018 @ 11:29am | ! Report

        “Forwards and backwards”????

        Mate, I suspect our golf is more about “sideways”….

        • Roar Guru

          April 12th 2018 @ 12:14pm
          Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 12:14pm | ! Report

          OK.. yep.

          But geez… I’m loathed to say so 🙂

          • Roar Rookie

            April 12th 2018 @ 1:41pm
            Sage said | April 12th 2018 @ 1:41pm | ! Report

            Yep, long memories on both sides of the fence.
            Reds to roll the Tahs in a dominant set piece performance.
            Issy to play with gay abandon.
            And yes, a huge golf fan. It’s not as fond of me though

            • Roar Guru

              April 12th 2018 @ 4:13pm
              Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:13pm | ! Report

              Sage… it’s not a fence, it’s a river.

              Trump that amigo!

              And… ‘with gay abandon.’ my ar$e.

      • Columnist

        April 12th 2018 @ 3:09pm
        Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:09pm | ! Report

        It was a quiet Sunday, Chookman, for sure, after the hammering the voice took throughout the call. But thank you, very nice of you to say..

        • Roar Guru

          April 12th 2018 @ 5:17pm
          Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 5:17pm | ! Report

          Talking of very nice, and I forgot to mention this earlier, I caught the bit on Allan Alaalatoa on ‘Kick and Chase’ last night.

          Seems like a top bloke… but what fascinated me most was the live onfield comments during the game about how the Brum’s scrum, especially the front row, was going when playing those REDS.

          Well done Brums for allowing it to happen… excellent stuff!

          • Columnist

            April 12th 2018 @ 9:13pm
            Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 9:13pm | ! Report

            Yeah, that was really cool. Literally unprecedented access into the one place on the rugby field which enjoys the least understanding…

    • Roar Guru

      April 12th 2018 @ 12:19pm
      Nobrain said | April 12th 2018 @ 12:19pm | ! Report

      I did played golf for around 8 years and I managed myself to handicap 9, but then I realised that to keep up with my handicap I had to spend to much time on the game and most of time I was not happy with my rounds. So I did what a normal person will do: quit. Do get exited, I will not quit our tipping program. I feel good about it despite last round.

      • April 12th 2018 @ 3:00pm
        cuw said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:00pm | ! Report

        when u tip against the crusaders ….. errrr

        but the trick is to learn from past mistakes 🙂

      • Columnist

        April 12th 2018 @ 3:10pm
        Brett McKay said | April 12th 2018 @ 3:10pm | ! Report

        9?!? Seems I wasn’t far off the mark at all!!

      • Roar Guru

        April 12th 2018 @ 4:07pm
        Machooka said | April 12th 2018 @ 4:07pm | ! Report

        ‘… most of the time I was unhappy with my rounds.’

        Oh, you don’t say Nobrain!

        This is from a guy who claims to have had a single digit golfing handicap. Wtf?

        Tell you what… if the Jags could tip and putt half as good as you apparently can they’d be a contender.

        ‘So I did what a normal person will do: quit.’ Ffs!

        Is it just me? 😉