On rugby union’s best-known identities

Harry Jones Roar Guru

By Harry Jones, Harry Jones is a Roar Guru


54 Have your say

    The attack coach

    “But we honed this
    Everyone in his lane
    Foundation solid
    Driving at this height.

    Quick on quick
    Set piece in and out
    Fast ball to the pivot
    Off the top
    Collaborative speed.

    Run your lines hard
    Every single time
    No change, never
    And in every phase
    Win the —– collision.

    Positive momentum.
    You know before him.
    Tackler has to react.
    Why would you hesitate?

    Over the ball, clear and controlled.
    Clean and quick passes,
    A short ball for every five long.
    Finish like a steam train at pace.

    Why are we watching the ball?
    Why are we stumbling and bumbling?
    Why are we rolling around like —–s?
    Decelerating into contact, limp dolls?
    What is the ——- point of practice?
    What is wrong with your ears?

    Solid, clean, quick, clear, hard, finish.
    We should score every bloody time!
    What is the source of your malfunction?
    Do what I am saying, do it, do it. Do it!’

    The journeyman
    Everything hurts.
    My ears hurt.
    They are ripped.
    Hanging by a thread.

    There is a cord,
    Or maybe it’s band.
    It runs from my knee to my shoulder blade.
    It feels like someone is pulling a rusty needle
    Through me.

    When I sneeze,
    Or cough at night,
    A blade cuts my nerves
    Inside my shoulder.

    I loved that carry last night,
    Pick up, don’t drop it, fend that —–.
    But I know, I know, I know
    We’ll look at the vision of the tackle
    I missed just before oranges.

    Got my feet in place, shuffled.
    But ducked into it
    And snapped me.
    Neck jumped.
    Missed him. Just missed him.
    Arms flailing, sat down on my bum.

    Started thinking
    Don’t leave me on an island.
    Don’t want to be in space.
    Stay close to the ruck.
    Don’t know how much longer
    I can stay at this pace.
    Maybe a job at the agency.
    Eat what I want.
    Be normal.”

    The fan
    “Look at that space!
    What are you doing?
    Go now!

    Not another —— box kick!
    Get on your horse!
    Come on!

    Rip off his arm!
    Hit him with the soggy end!

    Oh come on!
    My aching ——!
    What is wrong with your one eye,
    You ——-, barnacle-encrusted, —-,
    Son of a ——-.

    Yes! Yes! You beauty.
    You absolute genius.”

    The commentator
    “With all this possession
    And camping out territorially
    Deep in the heart of the red zone,
    Why can’t the —— punch it through
    To get more of a reward for their
    Dominance? Answer me that, Bob.

    The last pass just isn’t sticking,
    They aren’t earning the right to go wide,
    They aren’t making the hard yards, Mike.
    They need to build the phases,
    Be patient, more clinical, more accurate.

    Yes, that’s the thing.
    Oh, and against the run of play,
    There’s a cheeky grubber
    And a sprint under the poles.

    What a try!”

    State of Origin 2 is here, with the Blues looking to wrap the 2018 series up and the Maroons hoping to keep it alive and force a decider. Follow along with our NSW vs QLD Origin 2 live scores and blog.

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    The Crowd Says (54)

    • May 24th 2018 @ 6:59am
      Kelefua said | May 24th 2018 @ 6:59am | ! Report


    • Roar Guru

      May 24th 2018 @ 7:35am
      Machooka said | May 24th 2018 @ 7:35am | ! Report

      Thanks MrJones… what a great start to my day 🙂

      • Roar Guru

        May 24th 2018 @ 8:19pm
        Harry Jones said | May 24th 2018 @ 8:19pm | ! Report

        Especially for thee; this word omelette.

    • May 24th 2018 @ 7:51am
      Onside said | May 24th 2018 @ 7:51am | ! Report

      Said Roar rugby coach ,Harry Jones
      Bad passes are like risky loans
      Don’t kick to dim regions
      Get used to skin lesions
      If you want to live in fancy homes.

    • May 24th 2018 @ 8:18am
      Rugby Tragic said | May 24th 2018 @ 8:18am | ! Report

      *shakes head* … you are something else Mr Jones … something for everyone ..

      • May 24th 2018 @ 2:40pm
        cuw said | May 24th 2018 @ 2:40pm | ! Report

        a nice distraction from the ‘ BLUES ” – i guess 😀

        • Roar Guru

          May 24th 2018 @ 8:21pm
          Harry Jones said | May 24th 2018 @ 8:21pm | ! Report


          Rugby Tragic accepts the blues that come with the Blues…

          • May 25th 2018 @ 12:22am
            Cuw said | May 25th 2018 @ 12:22am | ! Report

            Songwriters: Bernie Taupin / Davey Johnstone / Elton John

            Don’t wish it away
            Don’t look at it like it’s forever
            Between you and me I could honestly say
            That things can only get better

            And while I’m away
            Dust out the demons inside
            And it won’t be long before you and me run
            To the place in our hearts where we hide

            And I guess that’s why they call it the blues
            Time on my hands could be time spent with you
            Laughing like children, living like lovers
            Rolling like thunder under the covers
            And I guess that’s why they call it the blues

            Just stare into space
            Picture my face in your hands
            Live for each second without hesitation
            And never forget I’m your man

            Wait on me girl
            Cry in the night if it helps
            But more than ever I simply love you
            More than I love life itself

        • May 25th 2018 @ 9:11am
          Rugby Tragic said | May 25th 2018 @ 9:11am | ! Report

          cuw … you really know how to hurt a guy! … *S*

    • Roar Pro

      May 24th 2018 @ 9:22am
      Jonty Shonty said | May 24th 2018 @ 9:22am | ! Report

      Haha! Nice one. What inspired this Harry?

      Caught me totally by surprise and it was refreshing to read something different! Smiled from start to finish.

      • Roar Guru

        May 24th 2018 @ 8:22pm
        Harry Jones said | May 24th 2018 @ 8:22pm | ! Report

        Howzit, Jonty.

        I was chatting with a coach and found his syntax to be poetic…

    • Roar Guru

      May 24th 2018 @ 9:23am
      RobC said | May 24th 2018 @ 9:23am | ! Report

      Beautiful HazaaaaæãæāåăąáæăāåàààaaaàAAAAaaaaa !!!!

      This should be translated into all Rugby nations languages, including German

      • Roar Guru

        May 24th 2018 @ 9:41am
        Machooka said | May 24th 2018 @ 9:41am | ! Report


        I know nuffing… NUFFING!?! 😉

      • Roar Guru

        May 24th 2018 @ 8:25pm
        Harry Jones said | May 24th 2018 @ 8:25pm | ! Report

        I’ve already translated it into Farsi and other tongues.

        • Roar Guru

          May 25th 2018 @ 2:21pm
          RobC said | May 25th 2018 @ 2:21pm | ! Report

          We want Farsi lessons! People who speak Farsi apparently are interesting people