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The tragedy of life in Australia from a sporting perspective has always been the inconvenience of the time zone in which we live.
I can remember celebrating when the Formula One Grand Prix in Japan took place and the ecstasy of a Commonwealth games in New Zealand or Australia cannot be described; knowing that the action takes place at a viewer-friendly time.
The World Cup in Russia offers no such convenience for Aussie fans with some late nights, or early mornings depending on your view, in store.
The hosts have done us a wonderful favour and slated the Socceroos in early timeslots for the group matches. Aussie fans could be well and truly in bed between two and three, depending on the excitement levels after we snare three points against our pooled opponents.
However, once we move beyond the group stage and deeper into the tournament, our matches will be later and 4am rises will become the norm.
It will be a stressful time for us all, let alone from a footballing perspective.
Relationships will be stretched to the brink and workplaces might receive an extra call or two as the winter sniffles take hold of football fans across the nation.
Finances will also be tested, as delivered food may usurp home cooking as a convenient method to cram in all the action.
I am ready. As are The Roar. Behind the scenes, the team have been strategising for the cup. Each game will be blogged live, with match reports and detailed analysis and hypothesis from the experts to summarise the action.
You need to be ready as well. Follow the simple four step process below and you might just make it through unscathed.
#1 Discuss the FIFA World Cup with your partner
There is no nice way to say this. Prior to the tournament, hubby or wifey, if not as football passionate as you, needs to be sat down and explained in detail what is about to occur and the journey you are about to undertake.
If they have lived it before, remind them just how bad it was. How you lost your job thanks to frequent sickies and forgot your own children’s names somewhere during the round of sixteen.
If they are a World Cup virgin, be honest, tell them it is a 24-hour commitment. You are better off being upfront and explaining just how much it means to you, rather than fudging your way through. Trust me, they’ll understand.
For those of you with a wedding anniversary or birthday falling late June or early July, good luck!
Australian fans had plenty to celebrate in Stuttgart back in 2006. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)
#2 Stock up
There is no time to shop during the World Cup and finding a Seven Eleven at three-thirty in the morning can prove a challenge for many.
Somewhere between one to two thousand tea bags should get you through. Ensure there is a back-up espresso machine available if coffee is more your thing and if you prefer something a little more potent, many suburbs now offer a home delivery service.
Put that phone number on your fridge immediately, laden your pantry with late night nibbles and treats and label the Tupperware clearly to prevent theft.
#3 Do not be caught out by technology
When Lionel Messi lines up a penalty in the shootout and Mat Ryan prepares for a wondrous save that will bring the Cup to Australia for the first time, imagine losing the images.
Get on your roof immediately and do a full system check: cabling, splitters and aerials often malfunction and while The Roar will be ever present and up to the minute with scores, a loss of vision could potentially put lives at risk.
Similarly, if you are a cable subscriber, call your provider and check for any maintenance work being done during the event. If so, request a postponement, politely, and if they decline, call the ombudsman.
To be completely safe, purchase a new television this weekend. Pay for as many features as you can afford and stow your old set in the new box, as an emergency backup.
#4 Embrace the space-time continuum
Clocks, sunsets and time itself lose all meaning once the World Cup begins. Viewing in the wee hours, as one match rolls into another, followed by the replay of a third, sees any concept of time disappear, let alone an awareness of what day of the week it is.
It is something to which the skilled World Cup viewers in these parts have become accustomed and submit to willingly. Many people get stressed when denied a sleep-in or when they experience difficulty in falling asleep at night; with work commitments and appointments pressing.
Tim Cahill has made waking up at 3am worth it in recent years for Aussie fans (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)
Australian football fans just allow the fluidity of the event to take over; one game bleeds into another, the clock loses all meaning and the regimented routine of day and night becomes obsolete.
I found myself cooking steak and sausages at 3.00am watching the 2006 World Cup in Germany. It didn’t feel weird. I was hungry and it felt like dinner time to me.
Don’t fight it. Feel the force and let it flow.
Preparation is key for a World Cup. Going in underprepared is an approach doomed to fail. Sure, savour the play and cheer on your team but for goodness sake take the necessary steps to make the event one to remember.
Any perceived selfishness can be made up for later.