I’ve been called a lot of things in my time – a sundry, a ham-fisted lover, a glam rock apologist – but, proudly, I’ve never been dubbed a hypocrite. And I’m not keen for it to start.
As such, I have a confession – I don’t like Aussie soccer. Never have. My attitude towards the Socceroos is of laissez-faire tolerance. I often serve it with a haughty dollop of contempt. As such, I just can’t support them and keep a clear conscience.
So, where does a love of rugby and my World Cup FOMO intersect? Finding a new team, that’s where! I need a team that can actually win a game, one that will keep me interested until deep in the tournament. And I thought I’d start with what I know.
Anyone else in the same position? Here are some thoughts…
The Crusaders – Germany. You think people don’t like you because they’re jealous of success. I guess I could agree, but then we’d both be wrong. It runs much deeper than that.
The Waratahs – England. You’ve fluked it once and you’ll keep dining out. You bill yourselves as the perpetual underachievers. However, this says more about your deluded ego than your true potential.
The Sharks – France. They may look like a professional team, and play like a professional team, but don’t let them fool you, they could actually be a professional team. You say you’re rocks or diamonds, but you look like a crepe.
The Hurricanes – Spain. You’ve got all the pieces – pace, skill, and some die-hard support. But, this year, something’s missing. However, I don’t have the time nor the crayons to explain it to you right now.
The Bulls – Uruguay. Once were feared and now derided. You aspire to mediocrity. You’re often your own worst enemy. At least at least you’ll try hard to win, albeit after you’ve had a go at everything else.
The Western Force – Italy. As my high school cricket coach would delight in saying – you’re playing an important position, it’s called left-right-out. Get over it. When life gives you lemons, you should at least say thank you.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.
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