If the Eels have any idea about rugby league, they will extend Jarryd Hayne’s contract until next time they reach the fifth.
Make no mistake – despite having the unsolicited overtones of an Elon Musk submarine, my unprecedented and unrealistic suggestion would be a guaranteed steal for Parramatta.
Locking Hayne in for one set at a time would definitely reap a bargain much like a discount package from Harvey Norman, including the lack of interest.
While many may question the logistics, or crazily, even the logic, it would be totally simple and non-intrusive: negotiate with his people on the third, table a deal on the flank on the fourth, and hand him a pen on the fifth. If he drops it, shop him to Cronulla.
The former Blue is again firing with every passing second towards his current deal’s expiry, as evidenced in a month of performances which have seen analysts referencing 2009 for the first time since Tuesday.
Jarryd Hayne of the Eels (Photo by Jason McCawley/Getty Images)
His resurgence follows a similar pattern of punctually emerging as a footballer in the hope of a new deal, which has occurred everywhere except at the Gold Coast, where there is never hope.
However, Hayne’s inextricable link between imminent poverty and desperation has seen his cost-to-benefit ratio plummet below truffles and the NSW stadiums upgrade, naturally resulting in employment at Parramatta.
In light of this, there is only one way to guarantee the former representative’s incredible late-term form- by offering him six tackles of security, and then maybe burning down the Players Association’s offices.
While many believe Hayne has already been playing to short term contracts since 2014, locking this arrangement down officially would insure against another winter-long off-peak period, and Brad Arthur’s mortgage.
Additionally, limiting his deal to a single set would not only restrict Hayne to one unrequired tie of his shoelaces in the defensive line, it would also guarantee upwards of two tackles where he might go looking for the ball – nearly the same amount he usually records for the entire month of May.
[latest_videos_strip category=”league” name=”League”]
Best of all, the deal benefits the player too. Negotiating inside the 80 minutes would allow him to conduct talks on the field, the period of the week where he has most of his down time.
I’ve asked the fans, and the results were a landslide. Some even believed the vision is almost as positive and flawless for the game as import Origin players. Give Hayne a fountain pen and make him work.
And for those who think this idea sucks, remember this: we’re talking about a club who wilfully signed Anthony Watmough to a two-year deal, despite him conducting negotiations almost from the afterlife.
And if this fails for Hayne, there’s always a job on the Fox commentary team where he can subtly white-ant Neil Henry again.
Parramatta eased the pressure on coach Brad Arthur with an upset 27-20 win over the Cowboys at CommBank Stadium on Saturday night despite an…
Josh Schuster's days at Manly could be numbered after the big-money second-rower was granted permission to open negotiations with NRL rivals. Just 10 months…
The Raiders were given a trademark “Sticky spray” after their pathetic collapse against Cronulla last Sunday. Seven days later they did coach Ricky Stuart…
Playing talent is always important, yet creating a winning culture even more so.
NRL football boss Graham Annesley has hit back at frustrations over the obstruction rule, saying the current interpretation was designed to prevent milking for…
Aiden Sezer has delivered a famous Easter Monday victory to the Wests Tigers with a last-minute field goal to upset Parramatta 17-16 on an…
