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My random attachment to ANB

(AAP Image/Julian Smith)
Roar Rookie
30th July, 2018
1

All footy fans will have their favourite players.

Typically it’s one of your clubs current greats – it’s easy to love the best players in your team, dominating in your club colours week-in and week-out. For example, if any Carlton fans claim their favourite is anyone but Patrick Cripps, it’s highly likely they’re lying.

However, what I like is finding out who it is that footy fans love in a way that is completely out of proportion with that players achievements on the field to date.

I love the obscure connection some fans have with lesser-known players. A player that you adore in a way that makes your friends burst into a raucous laughter underpinned with both hilarity and subtle contempt, and has you doubting whether or not you should mention it in public again.

It’s like the complete randomness magnifies the attraction, and you don’t quite know how it came to be exactly, but you’re there now so you might as well run with it.

I have an unhealthy obsession with Alex Neal-Bullen. There, I said it. ANB. The Nibbler. It’s unhealthy mainly because it is inexplicable. Unexplainable. Simply bizarre. I don’t really know where it emerged from, probably a subconscious by-product of fantasy football and the Telstra Tracker.

I don’t even support Melbourne. But here I am, probably ANB’s biggest fan outside of his own family. And probably only his immediate family to be honest. I suspect he’s more popular with me than say his second cousins. They certainly don’t select him 146 places higher than his average draft position in fantasy draft.

Max Gawn Bernie Vince Alex Neal-Bullen Melbourne Demons AFL 2015

(AAP Image/Julian Smith)

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Maybe it’s the hyphen phenomenon. Something about the doubled-barrelled surname that reels me in. I work in the energy industry, where acronyms proliferate like Z’s in a BT Orazio call.

I’m a big Sam Petresvki-Seton (SPS) fan, and who couldn’t love Simon Minton-Connell in the long sleeves. I even liked foundation Fremantle player Leigh Wardell-Johnson, or at least I like the idea of liking him. But I’m clutching at ill-defined psychology here.

Maybe it’s the haircut. The man they call ‘Nibbler’ has an impressive black lego-cap. It’s like a throw-back to the Ricky Grace flat-top that I so longed for as a 12-year-old in 1995. As you might discern from my profile pick, my wanting of the flat-top haircut has probably only increased since then.

But hair issues don’t typically affect the super-bald, generally only the patchy-bald or the fast-track bald, so that can’t really be the reason. My attachment will likely remain a mystery, but in fairness, Nibbler has taken another big step forward in his footy career in 2018.

It hasn’t been a major breakout – he has probably gone from being the 20th to 24th bloke selected to now say 14 to 18th. He will struggle to poll a Brownlow vote this year. But he has become a big part of a Melbourne forward line that now has an array of weapons beyond Jesse Hogan.

He has kicked 21 goals from 18 games, generally relying on elite running to be the last man in a scoring chain, often half a field away from his direct opponent. He has delivered a decent 5.9 score involvements, top 80 in the league.

He has averaged nearly 18 disposals and 4.4 tackles – notably laying 12 hugs against Adelaide on the weekend. And the disposals have come with precision recently. Having recently ticked over 50 career games (currently 52), the frenzied aerobic running has been more targeted and well-timed, and the game has slowed around him ever so slightly.

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Melbourne were 20-0 half way through the first on Saturday, and it was an ANB line-breaking pass-to-assist to Jeff Garlett that got Melbourne going, when they had barely sighted the forward 50 inside 15 minutes.

I’ll admit there is a long way to go until Nibbler is a household name. An even longer way to go before he makes a top 50 anywhere. He may never even make it to that level. But while he is still gut-running as a high half-forward for Melbourne, I’ll continue to cheer for him in a completely irrational manner, and cop the smirks and banter from my mates in the process. And while we are discussing it, I’d love to know who your most random favourite player is?

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