The bane of any summer? The quality of our red-ball opposition.
I am hungry for some competitive Test match cricket and all we get is a touring team that runs the same gauntlet and makes the same mistakes year in year out.
We all know the drill by now. Australia belts up 440 for five wickets we send the touring team in and they are 3/72 and now doing a rearguard action. We flick through the other channels and there is nothing else on.
Here is my wish list for all touring cricket sides to Australia and a must read for any cricket administrator.
1. For Don Bradman’s sake play some touring matches at the venues you are playing at
It’s not hard. Play Queensland twice at the Gabba.
Play W.A. twice in Perth. Get some match practice in. These wickets are fortresses for Australia. You will need to play there and get used to the heat and the bounce and getting yourselves in on the wicket. So swallow a couple of flies and watch the ball.
2. You will need to take 90 percent of your match chances
Time and time again a touring side will drop a top level batsman and then get punished for it. You will need Bobby Simpson-level catching standards when touring the land down under.
3. Leave the spinner at home
Trust me on this. I know you want variety with your attack. Any spinner you bring out to Australia will average over 40.
The wicket-taking machine Muttiah Muralitharan averaged 75.41 in Australia. This bowler took 800 Test wickets and if he can’t do it – why do you think your tweaker can?
4. Pace and more pace
Medium pacers should be banned at the gates of any airport this country has because they won’t do well on our hard dry strips.
If you don’t have out and out pace bowlers well you may as well cancel your tour. Richard Hadlee, Malcolm Marshall, Jasprit Bumrah, Imran Khan and Joel Garner. If you are serious about winning in Australia and not just collecting your pay.
The pace is going to have to be hot and skilful.
5. It’s not necessarily your greatest batsmen that will work in Australia
The mighty formers sides of the West Indies often had surprise batsmen do well. Who was their best player in Australia you might ask?
It wasn’t the Master Blaster Viv Richards nor The Supercat Clive Lloyd, it was the nudger and gap finder from Trinidad Mr Larry Gomes who averaged 70.33 in Australian conditions.
Gordon Greendige only scored one century in Australia. Allan Lamb never hit a century in Australia and both are regarded as fine players of pace. It takes a special player to get runs in Australia find them.
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