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Slim pickings: Test cricket's 'Slender XI'

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Roar Rookie
15th June, 2020
17

Ya gotta love sport! It throws together a myriad of body shapes, all with their unique benefits and disadvantages for the role they chose in the quest to be elite sportsmen.

A few weeks ago I noted a team of full-bodied cricketers which led me to thinking of a team which could collectively huddle together in Grace’s and Armstrong’s creams.

They’re all at least 182cm tall but their names will evoke completely different images of body mechanics and cricketing technique.

As you’d expect we were spoilt for choice with bowlers. I’m sure you can come up with a dozen, but the quartet I have here boast a combined 1932 Test wickets with 75/5fas and 15/10fas in a match. The batsmen are fairly handy too!

Bill Lawry, nicknamed “Phanto” was a stonewall opener for Australia in the 60s. Also called ‘a corpse with pads on’, he had the last laugh on bowlers as he is noted for never being adjudged LBW in Australia. His most famous dismissal was being unceremoniously dumped as skipper mid series in 1970-71.

Brian ‘Chris’ Broad, counters his dour opening partner with a fiery demeanour at the crease, albeit only with a strikerate of 37!

The 6’4” opener had a purple patch for England in the 86/87 Ashes with three consecutive centuries and strangely his 1660 career Test runs include 6/100s and 6/50s.

Maybe his fiery demeanour cost him the chance of adding to his 25 Tests. More noted now as a match referee suspending players with fiery demeanours.

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Ian Redpath was not exceptionally tall, but his body language was accentuated by a gaunt face and wiry frame. He was a seriously driven cricketer, described by Greg Chappell as a player who would kill to get into the Aussie Test team. It seemed he’d do anything to stay as well having filled every top five position at some stage or another in his 66 Tests.

Greg Chappell, long striding, purposeful entrance to the crease and then the epitome of elegance from an upright stance. Even his medium pace outies came with a languid action.

Yeah, OK the Kiwis have their opinion, but with a century on debut and a century in his last Test 13 years later, he’s in the record books for a reason. Anyone remember his batting spot on debut? Hint: He and Steve Smith have something in common.

Greg Chappell will put his selection cap on after the departure of Rod Marsh (Cricket Australia TV)

Greg Chappell (Cricket Australia TV)

Clive Lloyd could be brutal with the bat when necessary, but was a class left hander with an easy, flowing, full swing of the bat, often ending behind his head on his cover drive.

In his younger lithe days he was a brilliant ground fieldsman with a loping gait, swooping action and bullet arm. An easy going persona belied a hard nosed captain who could rein in egos for the benefit of the team.

VVS Laxman rivals Chappell in this team for elegance at the wicket with a fluid, willowy style. He was adept at batting with the lower order for India, which won and saved some memorable Tests.

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In 2001 against Australia he batted at six in the first innings and after following on was promoted to three in the second. Before you could say Vangipurapu Venkata Sai, he had contributed 281 to a huge lead, resulting in an historic Indian win.

Adam Gilchrist, who else could take the gloves? Damn! I already used willowy on VVS. How else would you describe his slaughter of the Poms at Perth?

Sure, brutal comes to mind, but the laid back full swing of the bat was……willowy! If there’s an early collapse it’ll be up to Gilly and VVS as there’s nothing of note with the bat to come.

Adam Gilchrist celebrates reaching his century

Adam Gilchrist of Australia celebrates reaching his century (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)

Ravi Ashwin, at 6’1” is fairly tall for a spinner and looks sorta awkward with his action. It’s just a feeling, as though he can’t stretch out at the crease because he’s a spinner. He’s three inches shorter than 1930s Leggie Tiger O’Reilly, but with 365 Test wickets at 25, the Indian offie is a walk up.

Stuart Broad, does have a ton to his name, but is best known for hanging around! He and Gilly would have some interesting debates on walking I’m sure, but with 485 Test wickets to his name, he has well and truly eclipsed his shorter opener father.

He dismissed Warner whenever it suited him in the last Ashes and loves the niggle! Like father, is 8fer to dismantle Australia for 60 in 2015 was everything a fast bowler could wish for.

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Glenn McGrath, the metronome , 563 Test wickets at 21! Just shows what discipline as a bowler can achieve. Still can’t work out how he got the nickname Pigeon, when you look at his praying mantis knee action arriving at the crease. Hang on, why’s he batting at ten?

Courtney Walsh, put together 519 Test scalps at 24 and has been the only number 11 to skipper the Windies. Scrawny in his younger days, he was lethal at the other end from Curtly Ambrose and is the tallest of this slim team at 6’6”.

He must feel unlucky not to bat at nine as he only made two of his record 43 ducks in that position!

As I said in the intro, there was a glut of bowlers and rangy vegetarian duo Ishant Sharma and Jason Gillespie wouldn’t look out of place in this line up with a combined 550+ wickets, odd facial expressions and loping horseriding batting celebrations.

6’4” Tiger O’Reilly would add lethal legspinning variety from a large wingspan, but I’m sure Gilly would appreciate not having to keep to an opinionated leggie, turned commentator!

No, I think this team could handle itself and with Whispering Death, Michael Holding, as 12th man they’d have stylish backup.

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