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Opinion

If The Avengers played rugby

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Roar Rookie
8th February, 2021
25

They saved the world, twice… so what?

The real question for me is: how would they fare against the mighty All Blacks on a rainy night in Christchurch?

With this line-up, I think any rugby team in the world are in for a long night – maybe there will be some problems under the high ball.

Let’s get to it.

1. Thanos
I don’t think there is much to debate here. Absolute unit and you bet ya he will never forget to remind you of that one linebreak he had that made him feel like a wing on his way to the try line.

2. Korg
What a nice bloke. This guy has a heart of gold and would never let any of his teammates get hurt, so in a free-for-all situation, you know who’s got your back.

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3. The Hulk
In more recent times he has learnt to control his emotions more and his hissy fits have been limited, so that is probably up for debate. But he has got brains now, which will improve his handling skills.

4. Groot
Groot is exactly what you want in a lock. Doesn’t have much to say and can reach any ball in a line out just by extending his index finger.

Also, a very hard man to tackle, so you would definitely want him as first receiver.

5. Vision
I honestly did not know where to put this guy, but I want him on my team. With the ability to lift 90 tonnes, who wouldn’t want to square this guy up against Maro Itoje?

6. Bucky Barnes
The guy is as tough as nails and has a metal arm. You know he will be winning you every single ball at the breakdown.

Also has the ability to turn into an absolute killing machine if need be.

7. War-Machine
Basically Iron-Man without Tony so he can fly and shoot stuff by just using his palm.

rugby generic

(Photo by Matthew Lewis/Getty Images)

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8. Thor
In an interview once, a reporter asked him how it feels to be the strongest man in the universe, upon which he answered: “I don’t know, maybe you should ask Duanne Vermeulen?”

Unfortunately, Duanne is not an Avenger so we will have to settle for second best, which is the god of thunder.

9. Deadpool
So, I know he is not an Avenger and all, but he just as well could have been one if he didn’t look like an avocado with skin cancer without his suit on.

But I know this guy will be cheeky as hell with the other team’s forwards come scrum time.

10. Hawkeye
The most accurate man in the universe – the transition from bow to boot won’t be too hard for Clint. He also has shown that he can take control, and with his backline full of egos, you know he will have to.

11. Ant-Man
He can change the size of his body by pushing a button, so he will only be caught if he wants to be. I do have concerns with his capability under the high ball, so maybe a guy like Loki isn’t a bad shout either?

12. Iron-Man
I had to put him in – I mean, there is no way you can leave a superstar like him out of the first XV.

The man is a genius, so he will be no doubt spotting gaps before they even open with the help of F.R.I.D.A.Y (if you don’t know who that is, look it up).

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13. Captain America
This guy will be captaining this team and I couldn’t really pick anyone else here, could I?

He gives me Brian O’Driscoll vibes just by looking at him and that’s why he’s my captain.

Wouldn’t you get goosebumps if this guy comes on at halftime when you’re 20 points behind and he gives a heartwarming speech and then ends it with… Avengers ASSEMBLE!

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14. Black Panther
He could just as easily have been picked at 12 or 13 because of his strength, but we need pace in the wide areas.

Imagine you give this guy a little space with the ball in hand – he’ll never stop running!

15. Spiderman
Quick feet, can leap from buildings and can steal the ball out of the air with his webshooters – it’s a no brainer for me. The kid from Queens rounds out my team.