In breaking news, NBA mogul and superstar Kevin Durant has been charged for instigating a fight at a local shopping centre.
The brawl erupted after a group of eighth graders spotted Durant across the road and proceeded to scream out ‘CUPCAKE’.
The footage shows the 7-foot tall basketball star lunge his way across traffic to meet the group at their bus stop, to where the schoolboys overpowered Durant, leading to him being hospitalised.
However Durant was forced to be released from hospital that same day, after having a verbal altercation with a nurse that accidentally mistook Durant for ‘LeBron James’, knowing only she was treating a basketball star.
Durant released a statement claiming, “This was just a big misunderstanding… I arr… I beat LeBron in two finals to one and…”.
Durant’s lawyer grabbed the microphone from him before he could finish the apology.
Maybe that’s a stretch. Or maybe it wasn’t. But ask yourself, when you came across Kevin Durant’s recent DMs to Michael Rapaport.
You know the ones where Durant brings up Michael’s wife, skin colour, throws a homophobic and misogynistic dig and to tip it off, sets out a time and place to throw hands with the actor. All because Michael called the future billionaire, ‘sensitive’, in his TNT interview with the crew. When you read those messages, were you shocked?
It’s like when your buddy that can’t cook to save himself burns yet another batch of easy to cook casserole. You’re taken back by it. You think it’s humorous that it happened to him and no one else.
Maybe even a little surprised. But shocked? That’s just who he is when it comes to the kitchen. And as bizarre as it is, this is who Kevin Durant is, when it comes to social media.
So let’s take a moment to appreciate what is really happening. We are living in a world where possibly the most talented NBA superstar on the planet, probably the most flawless basketball player ever, has the thinnest skin in all of sports.
That is the most ridiculous thing ever to face our league. Well, it belongs in the tier of Elgin Baylor’s 1961-62 season where he averaged 38 points and 19 assists while moon lighting for the Lakers on weekends then being an army reservist on the other days of the week.
You can even throw in J.R. Smith’s jaw dropping blunder in Game 1 of the 2018 NBA finals in that list.
But Durant going off at a pushy comedian?
We already saw him admit to claiming burner accounts just to defend himself. We already saw the countless social media arguments with random fans.
We’ve seen the one-word answers to sports anchors he does not like and the screaming matches with Draymond Green. The nasty looks at opposing team’s announcers. So this is just the latest page in what is going to be a long book when it is all said and done.
But that begs the question. Why? Why is Kevin Durant so… well ‘sensitive’.
One thing for sure is that he was not always like this. It has already been ten years since Durant infamously tweeted, ‘Now everybody wanna play for the Heat and the Lakers? Let’s go back to being competitive and going at these peoples!’. That won’t age well.
Now everybody wanna play for the heat and the Lakers? Let's go back to being competitive and going at these peoples!
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) July 16, 2010
But why did Durant go through this transformation? I’m not going to claim to understand the man’s inner psyche. I do know that it happened the day Durant left Oklahoma.
The day Westbrook found out the news through social media rather than text. The day fans burnt Durnant jerseys for joining a 73-9 team they had just lost to (when they were up 3-1). The day NBA Finals suspense was ultimately killed for two straight years.
There’s no doubting that this move led to a transformation. That’s why his technical foul count went up 77 per cent only two years after leaving the Thunder. After realising that he was not going to be treated like so many other greats – for joining an established winning team.
Unfortunately for Durant, those same questions are going to be raised if the Nets win the championship this year. As they currently hold the first seed in the East although the big three have only played in seven games together.
It might be the case that Durant never gets the respect his resume deserves – which may only lead to these diary pages escalating.