With Melbourne back in lockdown and my weekend plans curtailed, the only option was to schedule my very own Magic Round from the comfort of the couch.

And following the latest round of sin-bin sweepstakes, I enjoyed six blowouts and two close contests – pretty much capturing where the season stands.

One of the funniest moments occurred in the 51st minute of the Rabbitohs-Eels game when referee Gerard Sutton suddenly stopped play on the 20-metre line and promptly turned and ran 60 metres downfield to award a penalty for high-contact that occurred a few minutes and several plays earlier.

As he turned around to call out the transgressor, he realised the players were still 60 metres behind him, just as perplexed as the rest of us and perfectly capturing the confused state of the game.

Here are my highlights from Round 12.

Broncos vs Storm: The Death and Taxes Trophy
So named because there are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and the Storm beating the Broncos. I refuse to entertain the term Kevolution until the Broncos break the streak.

The greatest myth about this game was the repeated use of the term ‘baby Broncos.’ A Storm team without Cameron Munster, Harry Grant, Christian Welch, Ryan Papenhuyzen and Kenny Bromwich was both younger and less experienced than their opponents.

The Broncos players looked unsure of their roles. Tevita Pangai Junior looks like he’s there to make a miracle play on every hit-up, Albert Kelly and Anthony Milford looked hesitant in the halves, while Jake Turpin, though strong defensively, desperately needs a running game.

On several occasions, a forward (mostly Payne Haas) splintered the defence, leaving the markers out of position, yet Turpin didn’t even look up to run.

One question that must be asked about the Broncos: how many assistant coaches do they need?

You have John Cartwright and Terry Matterson in the coach’s box next to Kevy. Then you have Steve Walters and Petero Civoniceva on the bench, Allan Langer running messages on the field, plus Corey Parker, recently brought in as a ‘special assistant’, whatever that means.

The Broncos desperately need to simplify their game plan as they have neither the talent nor discipline to play the expansive high-tempo game they’re aiming for. Contrast them to their opponents on Friday in the Storm, who as one person goes down, another steps in and picks up the baton.

That sort of system takes time to develop, but it starts with a simplified approach.

Cowboys vs Warriors: The Payten Plate
Where would you rather live: Auckland or Townsville? Perhaps if he had read the tea leaves a little more accurately, Todd Payten might have stayed put and remained on the Central Coast. Easily my choice of the three.

Of course, the good news is his new team gets to play in the impressive new Queensland Country Bank Stadium. The bad news is… it is in Townsville.

This was a classic four-point game between two teams jostling for ladder position and both with some good young talent. The Cowboys, after a few years in the doldrums, are starting to show some promise, and the Warriors, well, hopefully this isn’t another false dawn.

Reece Walsh does look the goods for the Warriors. He scored a try, set up another and pulled three penalties by staying down after the tackle. Hopefully, he saves that form when he’s up against his former club.

Speaking of former clubs, I tend to think the Cowboys might regret letting Jake Clifford go. He strikes me as someone who will really develop late but he can be a super player in a few years.

I do really like what Payten has done with Bjorn Ironside, or Coen Hess to his close friends. After bursting onto the scene in what was a really strong team, his form seems to have mirrored the club’s over the past few years and it’s great to see him having an impact playing in the middle.

Mind you, he desperately needs some help and the Cowboys recruitment officer really needs to find a couple of big middle forwards to help him, and Jason Taumalolo when he returns. Again, both clubs are heading in the right direction and both are a good chance of sneaking into the eight this year.

Tigers vs Dragons: The Joint Venture Challenge
Here we had two teams desperately fighting to finish ninth.

But seriously, why on earth was it being played at Parramatta? The Tigers players must almost look forward to away games, so they at least have some certainty as to which ground they’re playing at.

As for the Dragons, they started the year by beating some teams that were out of sorts. Now they’re struggling to return to those dizzy heights.

The fact they finished this round in the top eight says more about the state of the competition than it does about them. They started the year as one of the wooden spoon favourites and I’m not convinced they won’t still finish there.

In this game, they were so slow I thought my Kayo was buffering whenever they ran the ball.

It’s hard to know what they’re doing at the Dragons. They can’t afford to even make an offer to Matt Dufty, a local junior and a quality fullback, who, at 25, is coming into his prime. Yet, they can afford to buy Josh McGuire?

If anything, they’re building nicely for an over-35s comp. Perhaps they’re trying to clear cap space for a run at Blake Ferguson, or Benji Marshall?

Nevertheless, a good win for the Tigers, who are finally starting to show some promise and great to see the likes of Jacob Liddle, Luke Garner and Daine Laurie really emerging as quality players.

Panthers vs Bulldogs: The Kelly-Mortimer Cup
I still say the day Panthers truly arrived as a club when they signed Chris Mortimer and Peter Kelly from the Bulldogs ahead of the 1988 season. Two true rugby league warriors of the 1980s who brought toughness to the club.

As an endless act of revenge, the Bulldogs continue to chase every Panthers player not nailed down, but they were worth it!

I really rate Ivan Cleary as a coach, but goodness, he got this wrong. Clearly, the Panthers players thought they were turning up for a Saturday afternoon training session, such was their intensity.

One of the great strengths of Penrith is their ability to consistently win the tackle. In defence, they continuously stop the forward momentum of the attacker, while in attack they consistently bend the line, regardless of who is running the ball.

So much of their success in both attack and defence stems from that aspect of their play. Mind you, their play-the-ball speed in this game was absurdly slow, in part due to the Bulldogs’ clear plan to slow them down and in large part down to the unwillingness of the referee to call six again.

Much was made by the commentators about the Dogs’ completion rate, yet if you spend the whole game running one out, you really shouldn’t be making mistakes with the ball.

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As a whole, this match offered little to dwell on, other than an interesting question to ponder: with a final score of 30-4, which coach would have been happier?

Souths vs Eels: The Split Watermelon Plate
So named after the famous 1986 Round 24 match between these two clubs where after an all-in brawl involving pretty much both forward packs, Ray Warren in commentary uttered the famous phrase: “There’s Peter Sterling, smiling like a split watermelon.”

Remarkably, Sterling was the only player sin-binned. But back to this round and this was easily the most entertaining game of the round and Souths certainly were significantly improved following the shellacking the week prior.

I always have the feeling with the Eels that if you match them up front, they are more than beatable. Souths did that and with what must be the most talented back-five in the comp, they seemingly split them at will.

For the Eels, they can’t get Dylan Brown back quickly enough. Jake Arthur is a nice story, but he didn’t show much in attack and really lacks speed to take advantage of their forwards.

Every time he goes for a kick it’s a charge down waiting to happen. In a beaten team, Nathan Brown was outstanding and was easily their best. For the other side, it’s great to see Dane Gagai warming up so nicely ahead of the State of Origin series.

Roosters vs Raiders: The Six-Again Cup
So named for the 2019 grand final.

You just must admire the Roosters. They’re like that famous 12th Man sketch about Bruce Reid: “Oh dear, he’s snapped in half.”

Yet to their massive credit, despite a massive injury toll and suspensions, they’re still around the top of the table and were way too good for an out of sorts Raiders team here.

It was a case of the Roosters’ leaders really standing up and leading the team to victory: James Tedesco, Jared Waerea-Hargreaves and Joseph Manu were superb and the rest simply did their jobs. For the Raiders, surely they could have directed more of their attack at Joseph Suaalii, to test out the 17-year-old in his second start.

And really… Jack Wighton – how many touches did he have in that second half? Yes, they struggled for possession but as an international and marquee player, Ricky Stuart would have surely hoped for more from him.

One of the funniest moments from this game was when the Roosters were penalised for not packing the scrum inside 30 seconds, only for the Raiders to spend another 45 seconds deciding what to do. Rugby league: always entertaining!

For the Raiders: they are really struggling. Between homesickness, critical partners, injury and suspension, they look utterly spiritless and the only highlights they seem capable of producing are at the post-game press conference.

Stuart successfully built a strong team by recruiting a string of Brits; perhaps his next masterstroke will be to recruit single blokes only.

Sharks vs Titans: The Greg Bird Plate
For a man who was run out of both clubs.

Going into this game, it had a 38-34 scoreline written all over it. I was half-right.

This game was as good as over at halftime and the second half had all the excitement of an episode of NRL 360.

The problem for the Titans is their hardest workers in most games are their lesser lights. David Fifita is the most expensive decoy runner in history but in this game he seemed glued to the left side of the field, except when he ventured on a cross field run gaining 60 metres, only eight of which advanced the ball.

The good news is he should be well rested for Queensland next week. For the Titans, this had shades of that game against the Broncos a couple of weeks ago.

As soon as a run of momentum and possession goes against them, they lack the sort of resilience and desperation needed to repel the tide. Even with a man advantage with Will Chambers sin-binned, they looked completely uninterested.

The Sharks are a long way off stretching the top five, but they are developing and starting to get some quality out of their younger players. Will Kennedy had some nice touches and Blayke Brailey again led the team around the park nicely.

Knights vs Sea Eagles: Spud-Chief Challenge
It was a different game then.

In a tense match, the round concluded with an enormous win for a young Knights team who didn’t have a backline starter older than 23.

After a month where he’s been otherworldly, Tom Trbojevic had a quiet match and as things go, Manly too looked a bit off their game. Perhaps they were flat following the emotion of last week’s big performance and the win for Bob Fulton.

Neither team showed much in attack, hence the scoreline, but hopefully this is the win the Knights need to really give some impetus to their season.

For the Sea Eagles, I doubt Des Hasler will be too disappointed with his team. A few late changes left them a bit disjointed, twice they had players sin-binned, the penalty count was heavily against them and nothing really went their way.

They’ll start favourites in each game for the next month, so they should cement their spot in the top eight. Serious question: in a foot race between Jason Saab, Charlie Staines and Josh Addo-Carr, who wins? I think I’d take Saab.

So, eight games later, what have we learnt?

One thing is clear: with games being stopped for captain’s challenges, seemingly every time someone grabs their head after a tackle and for Bunker reports, the games are incredibly long. By my count, the 4:00pm Knights-Sea Eagles game finished at 6:10.

A round with two upsets is probably a rare thing in season 2021 and the stark difference in class between the top five and the rest has shades of New Zealand Super Rugby teams lining up against their Australian counterparts.

If we look at the current season, in games between the current top five and the rest, the collective record so far is 38-3.

While a lopsided record is not surprising, that’s why they’re at the top of the table. A 93 per cent success rate demonstrates the gap between the top and bottom teams is enormous and the days of regular upsets and eight highly competitive games each round, or even much of each round seems distant.

And not even the added unpredictability of the high-contact edict can change that. While the NRL might be quite rightly focused on player safety, I say the difference in quality between the best and worst teams is the biggest issue facing the game.

Bring on Round 13.