Opinion
There’s a reason why they say never mess with the classics.
And that is why news of a White Men Can’t Jump reboot should be met with a “get that shit out of here” rejection like Wesley Snipes blocking a shot at the rim.
According to the wisdom of renowned Jeopardy queen Gloria Clemente, sometimes when you win, you really lose or tie and this project getting the green light seems like a victory for those involved but they’ll be throwing up bricks. Let’s just stop right now and gather up all these bricks and let’s build a shelter for the homeless so maybe your mother will have a place to live.
American rapper Jack Harlow has been unveiled as the star of the new film, making his acting debut (never a great sign), playing the Billy Hoyle role made famous by Woody Harrelson in the 1992 original. You see Billy it’s like this, you either smoke or you get smoked. And you got smoked.
NBA star Blake Griffin is part of the production team putting together the new film. He brings credibility to the process and he’s genuinely funny – one of few sportspeople who have dabbled in stand-up comedy without bombing horrendously but you can put a cat in an oven, but that don’t make it a biscuit.
Snipes, Harrelson and Rosie Perez reunited on stage at the Academy Awards the other day to mark the 30th anniversary of White Men Can’t Jump but there’s been no word about whether they’ll be involved in any way. Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen the recent Ghostbusters remake but at the very least they should get a short and sweet slice of screentime like Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson.
Harlow’s co-star for the Sidney Deane part has not yet been cast. Good luck to whoever gets that role because “Hey baby, I don’t mean to brag … but I’m the greatest!”
And worst of all, the great Marques Johnson, who is nowadays a TV analyst for Milwaukee Bucks broadcasts, was on the Lowe Post podcast last week and said he had not been approached about a reprisal of his legendary cameo as the unhinged streetballer Raymond.
“My sons told me they were going to get some sort of social media campaign to get me some run in there. I don’t know, man. It’d be nice to be able to have a cameo, reprise the role in some fashion,” he said. “Raymond gets religion, who knows? You could play with that character and make him 180-degree different than what he was.
“I’m interested to see the casting and how it plays out.”
Most of us who are devoted fans of the original basketball classic will probably check it out to see if it’s any good even if the chances of that being true are about as good as swishing a hook shot from your own half when you’re shooting for the Sudan hoop.
Anyway, rant over. Fingers crossed, it’s not terrible or anyone associated with the reboot will have to answer to the Stucci brothers.
One white man who certainly can jump is Australia’s Jock Landale, who is being made to work hard for any game time with San Antonio.
The 26-year-old former Melbourne United centre is averaging a tick under 11 minutes in his rookie season for the Spurs, contributing five points, a couple of rebounds and an assist when coach Gregg Popovich gives him some burn.
Despite a haul of 26 points and seven rebounds when he got 35 minutes against Indiana a couple of weeks ago, Landale has been given around 12 minutes per game in the seven ensuing fixtures.
Coach Pop, who became the most successful coach in terms of regular season wins recently, has a history of slowly introducing rookies into his system and making them earn their minutes.
Hopefully, Landale can play more of a part as the Spurs mount a serious challenge to the LA Lakers’ tenuous hold on the last play-in berth in the Western Conference.
Friday – Cavaliers @ Hawks, 10.30am AEDT
Cleveland (42-34) are trying to get back into the top six in the Eastern Conference for an automatic first-round playoff berth while Atlanta (39-37) are 10th and all but assured of a play-in spot but are only three games back of the Cavs.
Saturday – Pelicans @ Lakers, 1.30pm
Ok, LA fans – if you don’t win this one, your chances of making even the play-in game could be all but over. Anthony Davis is supposed to be returning from his latest lower leg injury for the Lakers (31-44), who can peg a game back on New Orleans (33-43) in the three-wat race for the last two play-in positions in the West with San Antonio.
Sunday – Heat @ Bulls, 10am
Something hasn’t been quite right in Miami lately since coach Erik Spoelstra’s on-court slanging match with Jimmy Butler and while they’re still atop the East at 49-28, the Bucks, 76ers and Celtics are in striking distance. Chicago (fifth at 44-32) are no sure things for a top-six berth and are still struggling to compete when they take the floor against the top teams.
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