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BRETT GEEVES: Crows' disturbing truth, GWS in all sorts, and an apology to Joel Selwood - every team's state of play

3rd August, 2022
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3rd August, 2022
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Tired of reading 1000 words about Jack Ginnivan and the AFL’s weekly interpretation reform? Here’s something for everyone – a quick check around the grounds.

ADELAIDE

The 2018 pre-season camp has reared its ugly head again with Eddie Betts opening up about the ugly experience in his autobiography, ‘The Boy from Boomerang Crescent’.

At one stage he was put into a body harness with a rope attached and told to fight his way towards a knife to cut himself free, while camp instructors peppered him with verbal abuse.

“Things were yelled at me that I had disclosed to the camp’s ‘counsellors’ about my upbringing. All the people present heard these things,” he wrote.

“I was exhausted, drained and distressed about the details being shared.

“Another camp-dude jumped on my back and started to berate me about my mother, something so deeply personal that I was absolutely shattered to hear it come out of his mouth.”

It is truly disturbing stuff.

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BRISBANE

The media says:

IN: Alistair Clarkson

OUT: Chris Fagan

Fagan says:

OUT: Ruckmen as the med-sub.

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CARLTON

How did the Blues go from premiership certainty, to potentially not making the eight? With games against Brisbane, Melbourne, and Collingwood to round out the season, and one win guaranteeing a finals berth, it’s a nervous time to be a bluebagger.

COLLINGWOOD

Across nine wins in a row, seven of those wins have been by nine points or less. Is this the same list that finished 17th last year? Craig McRae. New energy. New belief. New interpretation on high free kicks. Collingwood flying.

ESSENDON

The Bombers have won four of their last five games. And with Andrew McGrath, Darcy Parish, and Dylan Shiel all out, it meant “The Package” was unleashed into the midfield where he kicked three first-quarter goals. At his best, Jake Stringer sits at the top of the podium in terms of game winners across the league. What’s that saying about the best ability being availability? A problem for the Bombers.

FREMANTLE

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At 37 years of age, top 10 games played all-time, and enough frequent flyer points to fly Musk airlines to the moon, David Mundy will retire at the completion of the year.

“I feel I’ve grown from a skinny full-back who didn’t want to talk to anyone, to being a part of the leadership group for a number of years now” said Mundy, reflecting on his journey.

Wait. WHAT!! Mundy was drafted a full back!!?? The man is a freak and will be carved into Fremantle’s Mount Rushmore alongside Mathew Pavlich and Clive Waterhouse.

GEELONG

Joel Selwood reached 350 games of footy on the weekend and it made me wonder – have I been too harsh on him? Is he in the category of duckers, divers, and dodgers that would pee their pants or sell their grandmas for a free kick?

I’ve changed my tune, and I hope you’ll come with me, I don’t think he is in the same class as Jack Ginnivan and Cody Weightman. This comment made by MACCA, on an article about Ginnivan and Selwood, sold me to the dark side of Selwood fandom.

“The difference can simply be summed up by the fact that if the opposition players stepped back from the tackle at the last second, Selwood would burst through or get the handball away, Ginnivan would fall to the ground,” Macca.

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It is so true.

Joel, I am sorry, you are a tough hombre.

Joel Selwood is cheered off the ground.

(Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY

Salary cap issues, the interim coach slamming the players for checking out, and the likely exodus of several of the team’s stars has the expansion club in a true spot of bother. Are they on the verge of a re-build? And ultimately, who cares? Their 11 members went back to punting on the dogs at Dapto 12 months ago.

GOLD COAST SUNS

“Dew, an unlikely bulky hero, feeds a hand pass to Williams, he stumbles, the boy from South Fremantle gives it back to Dew, he’s in desperate trouble, hand passes back, Williams goes in, BOUNCES IT THROUGH, THE RESISTANCE MAY BE BROKEN,” Dennis Cometti calling a passage of play during Stuart Dew’s five minutes of individual brilliance that led Hawthorn to the 2008 premiership against the more fancied Geelong.

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Who doesn’t love Stuart Dew being the unlikely bulky hero of the Gold Coast? And perhaps more pressing, how badly do we miss Bruce McAvaney and Dennis as commentators?

HAWTHORN

Kane Cornes says they’re irrelevant right now.

MELBOURNE

They were back to their best against Fremantle. The Dees are like Gremlins when wet, they grow mini-Clayton Oliver’s out of their back and win all the contested footy on offer.

NORTH MELBOURNE

Ben Cunnington’s return to footy from testicular cancer is a remarkable story. Surviving it is one thing, returning to professional sport is a whole different stratosphere of fairytale.

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PORT ADELAIDE

The request to wear their heritage jumpers, the black and white prison bar, exclusively in showdowns against their home state rival, Adelaide, is one the AFL must start approving without consultation with Collingwood.

 “Surely we’re past these trivial arguments and acknowledge this is one of these things where it’s time for change and we progress the game, as a truly national competition which acknowledges the rich heritage we all bring. Says Port Adelaide President, David Koch.

“We’re not asking to wear it every week, it’s for Showdowns, in Adelaide, to celebrate the rich heritage of Port Adelaide and of South Australian football. It just feels logical, harming no body and promoting the history of Australian football.

Agreed.

RICHMOND

Sydney Receives: Dustin Martin

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Richmond Receives: Ollie Florent, Dylan Stephens, and Logan McDonald

It’s a trade based on NBA value!!

Dustin Martin

(Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

ST KILDA

They’re hanging on to the top eight for dear life. Dan Hanneberry returning gives them a spiritual lift, as well as a little polish, and you can’t underestimate the impact Hannebery can have as a player. Rowan Marshall as the sole ruck? A fantasy coach’s dream.

SYDNEY SWANS

When you look at the impact George Hewett (Carlton) and Jordan Dawson (Adelaide) are having at their new clubs, it is easy to wonder how Sydney is currently sitting in the top 4. To lose players of that quality, without any immediate player return, is stunning. The Swans have won four games in a row and seven of their last nine.  They know footy the Swans. Are they peeking in on the Dees and the Cats as genuine contenders?

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TASMANIA

If it doesn’t happen now, Football is done in Tasmania. The JackJumpers will march them out of town.

WEST COAST

Josh Kennedy will retire as the Eagles’ greatest goalkicker with 704, on top of being a dual Coleman medallist, leading West Coast’s goalkicking seven times, and being an All-Australian on three occasions.

Who won that trade? Chris Judd and Dennis Armfield collected no premierships.

Josh Kennedy and Chris Masten won a flag in 2018, and Tony Notte was delisted after a couple of seasons.

Winner: Eagles.

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WESTERN BULLDOGS

Old fashioned chocolates to boiled lollies for the Doggies down at GMHBA stadium. But that’s what they do. The inconsistencies of their season must be maddening for the coaching staff and you feel they need to switch things up by using the depth and star power in their midfield to attract some key pillars down back via trades.

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