Do rugby league players remind you of people you work with?
For a bit of fun I have embraced stereotypes and assigned rugby league positions to workplace personalities. Have I missed any positions?
Other names are the glory hound or cherry picker. They are notorious for taking credit for the team’s work when the boss is watching.
Invariably for the rest of the week they display only moderate interest in what the team is doing and generally possesses only middling ability. By Friday, when everyone is exhausted and slumped in the corner, they are as fresh as they were on Monday.
Or as I like to call them, yesterday’s hero. Many years ago they ran the place, everyone looked up to them but now the work has changed.
You can tell a centre by their age and their workspace. They often have the desk in the corner, which has a strange sadness to the space, with old photos and dust accumulating.
The Centre is waiting for the full-time siren to sound.
Everyone loves to work next to a backrower. Loyal to a fault, great work ethic and will always take the blame for a stuff up. In the magic world of office rugby league you want half the team to be back rowers.
These are the people that are there when you arrive and still going when you leave. Backrowers are noticed most when they are holidays.
Similar to a backrower but just not as likeable. There is just something about them. They have skills, they work hard but they just seem to have a chip on their shoulder.
You can never properly relax when working with a hooker as they could blow up at any time for some imagined slight or long held grunge. It is generally understood that hookers are the most likely to go postal at the work Christmas party.
You want to hate the fullback but you just can’t – you secretly want to be best friends with them. They are safe, reliable, talented and hard working.
This is the role at work you describe to your parents when they ask what you do. Fullbacks don’t always stay around, they know they have the gift and they know their value.
Some workplaces don’t have a fullback, often centres talk of how good it was when the fullback worked there. These stories are annoying.
Ah the halfback, also referred to as the chosen one, often the boss’s son. The most annoying thing about them is they have talent. So much talent that they get bored and start niggling people, cracking little jokes, starting office gossip and then denying any involvement.
Halfback should never be partnered with hookers, otherwise there will be a serious incident with paperwork and HR involvement. Halfbacks work best with a backrower next to them. A steadying influence who is strong enough to keep them out of harm’s way.
Like a back rower but prone to the occasional incident. Front rowers are loyal, will work till they drop but they can be led astray and are a bit insecure.
Let’s be honest they are emotionally fragile. At all costs front rowers should not share a workspace with a halfback. Front rowers often need to have things explained to them three or four times.
I don’t know what it is about the bench player, but you just can’t get big minutes out of them. Monday is a day off for some reason, Tuesday they leave early to pick-up the kids, Wednesday they showed backrower potential but by Thursday they are distracted by phone calls and Friday they are sick.
Sadly, the bench player has potential that is never realised.
You have to work with a coach for a long time before you realise they aren’t a backrower. They talk a great game and they know everyone.
Coaches come into their own in meetings, they are confident and full of ideas on how other people should do their job. Then one day you finally realise they don’t actually do any work, they just talk about it.