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Opinion
So what’s a howler? And how did someone come up with the term ‘howler’?
Given the focus on how bad the NRL refereeing, bunker and judiciary has been this season, I’ve decided to chuck together a dodgy, biased, rubbish series on the howler.
Why? Hey don’t question me. Or my integrity. What did you say? That’s ten in the bin. No, off. You’re off. Don’t talk to me. Just go.
So what is a howler? And who on Earth named it that? Now, I can’t be too sure but I reckon it’s to do with the howler monkey. The howler monkey are aptly named for their cacophonous cries. When a number of howlers let loose their lungs in concert, often at dawn or dusk, the din can be heard up to three miles away.
Well that’s just great. But what does that have to do with rugby league? And why don’t we have annual awards for the biggest howlers of the year?
First things first. According to Urban Dictionary and some other definitions chucked in, a howler is:
“A sporting term used to describe a particularly terrible piece of play, usually due to the stupidity of a single player (or referee). A howler is not incurred through bad luck or even poor play, but rather through absolute amateurish hopelessness.”
Another definition points out that a howler “is a glaring blunder, clumsy mistake or embarrassing misjudgment”, often spectacular that is “usually made under little pressure” that determines the outcome of a match.
(UD also says a howler is: “A derogatory term used in English denoting the ugliest person possible.” But I’ll need to give you time to come up with the ugliest person in rugby league).
So now we’ve defined a howler is a glaring blunder due to stupidity or hopelessness (thanks, Urban Dictionary). It also states that it’s an embarrassing mistake.
Urban doesn’t mention anything about plural, so if a player makes an embarrassing mistake they aren’t automatically dropped. Similarly, if a ref/bunker makes an embarrassing mistake, then they aren’t necessarily dropped.
And who knows what happens with the judiciary? The official(s) make a series of embarrassing mistakes, well that’s a different kettle of football. I know we don’t all agree with this, but as former North Sydney Bears CEO Bruce Hornsby said, that’s just the way it is, it is, is.
So what’s to be done about these howlers that are occurring way too often from the officialdom? Don’t question me. That’s dissent. Another ten in the bin for you, and a set restart against your team. No, I cancelled all your Captains Challenges.
Before we go any further: disclaimer. I’m a sanctimonious, self-appointed ref defending woke bloke and z-grade ref. I’m quick to don my armour, hop on my high horse and spout why ref’s aren’t protected species and it’s all the players and clubs fault. Always.
And that we can’t criticise refs. Well pretty much ever. And that ref’s are held accountable. And that us knights fans need to accept that because our team is so rubbish we don’t even have the right to blow up at the ref. I also hate St George.
When venerable league fans call into question a referee/bunker howler, one must always remember howler etiquette.
One is well within their rights to howl like a werewolf in concrete undies with metal spikes while wearing finger traps about referees/bunker/judiciary howlers when it costs their team, or any team playing St George.
Fans, ugly or otherwise knows that a howler is amateurish, always embarrassing, usually under little pressure, and can determine the outcome of the match.
So how does one bring the attention of said howler to the referees/bunker attention:
Right way to go about it: “That forward pass call by Ben Cummins was terrible and amateurishly hopeless.” That’s fine. It questions the decision, not the professionalism or integrity of the ref in question. Jolly good show old chap.
Wrong way to go about it: “Ashley Klein not only makes decisions due to stupidity and hopelessness, but he’s also the ugliest person possible”.
See, now it’s getting personal and suggests the ref, rather than the decision, was stupid and hopeless. And barking that the ref could not possibly be uglier? That’s just mean. So make sure you don’t confuse your howlers (decisions/ugliness), good sir.
So now we know what it is, and how we can go about raising it appropriately, you can go about your business.
Applying the definition of the non-ugly/primate related howler, we can set some key questions to determine what is and isn’t a howler:
1. Was the glaring blunder(s) caused by stupidity or hopelessness
2. Was it so obvious that not even Annesley will be able to talk his way out of it
3. Was there little pressure at the time
4. Was the ref legging up one team/square ups to even the penalty count
5. Did the glaring blunder(s) determine the outcome of the match
6. Was the official sanctioned by the NRL due to the glaring blunder(s)
7. Who is the ugliest person you know? Are they really that ugly? Prove it
Point 6 is actually important. Despite what we want to believe, there are times (albeit not many) that refs/officials are ‘rested’ or ‘dropped’ for howlers.
And point two will also help us determine what the outcome in six should be, and therefore level of howler Annesley reaches as he reaches for some kind of mystifying justification of the howler.
And through the howler ratings, a final score will be given to determine just how bad a howler it is. Then hopefully we’ll apply this dubious theory to other howlers to see what’s a howler and what’s not.
Because not all howlers are the same, we can use some of the definitions as applicable in each rating as required.
0 = innocent/insufficient evidence
Low = small amount of blame. Others more involved in the decision. Time left in match/context of that decision shouldn’t have significant impact. Some mitigating circumstances. Annesley is fine with the decision.
Medium = key official involved in decision. Others involved but not as critical. Less time in the match/context means result more likely to be influenced by decision. Fewer mitigation factors. Annesley says that while he can’t speak for the refs, he would have come up with a different decision.
High = No mitigation. Evidence is clear. No one else responsible. Huge impact on the game. Called at a critical point in the game. Annesley even says it was wrong. Official is dropped/rested. A dead set shocker.
Factoring Annesley (FA) is important as if we can’t decide between two, then the Monday man’s input will be all-important.
Howler awards. We all know that the NRL often does FA when it comes to dealing with howlers.
At the end of this series, I’m hoping we have a list of the Worst Howlers of the Year. These will be announced at the Inaugural Dufty M Awards (the Howlers). Only the very worst will be in the running for this highly prestigious and dubious award.
Howlers will be awarded in the following categories:
– Worst ref howler (single decision)
– Worst ref match howler (plural decision/match)
– Worst player howler (single play)
– Worst player match howler (plural plays/match)
– Worst single bunker howler
– Worst bunker match howler
– Worst Annesley press conference howler explanation (incident)
– Worst Annesley press conference howler explanation (match)
– Worst commentary howler (single incident)
– Worst commentary howler (plural decision/match)
– Worst coach howler in a match (Wallace positioned at 5/8 on a scrum against the dragons is one that pops to mind)
– Worst coach howler
– Worst recruitment howler
– Worst club admin howler
– Worst club PR howler
– Worst player manager howler
To start us off in all my amateurish hopeless glory, I’ll go through some of the ref/bunker howlers this year to see what is and what isn’t. I’ll start with the Parra vs Manly calls, Dragons vs Raiders (* 2) and the Cowboys vs Tigers.
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