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Ben Pobjie is a writer and comedian whose promising rugby career was tragically cut short the day he stopped playing rugby and had a pizza instead. The most he has ever cried was the day Balmain lost the 1989 grand final. Today he enjoys the frolics of Wallabies, Swans, baggy greens, and Storm.
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As his one-time Storm teammate Greg Inglis ends his career in a shower of tributes, Israel Folau seems to be ending his in a shower of a much more prosaic substance. And it’s a shame. A damn shame.
Sport isn’t about feelings or impressions; it’s about cold hard facts.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything in cricket more unlikely than Australia coming back from 2-0 down in the ODI series in India to win 3-2.
A wildcard weekend in the NRL, enabling the ninth and tenth-placed teams to contest the finals? What a great idea!
I learnt a lot from Nick Riewoldt’s bold statements about drugs this week.
After a bracing summer holiday, multiple medallist Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and six-time journeyman Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle are back at the bar to say what’s what.
Bright spark Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and sharp unit Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle sit down at the bar to chew on some solutions.
Mercurial speedster Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and renowned workhorse Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle break it down and spit it out for you.
Elite performer Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and honest man Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle sit down and sort it all out.
Elite sporting raconteur Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and quicksilver playmaker Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle chew the fat and spit it right out.
Big game specialist Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and small game ignorer Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle grapple-tackle the week in sport to within an inch of its life.
Hardest-working man in sport Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and repeat offender Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle sift through the ruins of the weekend.
Grand final perennial Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and big-game specialist Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle rev up for the pointy end.
Eight-time best and fairest Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and 17-time ‘Most beers drunk between Wollongong and Broken Hill’ record-holder Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle toss the pigskin around in a conversational sense.
Clutch performer Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and big-game specialist Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle get down to business.
Community service veteran Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and the doyen of gurus Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle get to grips with the week’s most get-to-grippable issues of the sporting week.
The mercurial utility Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and journeyman maverick Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle give the straight dope on sport’s most pressing issues.
Ten-time player of the year Roy ‘Crackling’ Pork and lifetime MVP Wayne ‘Spanks’ Spankle sit down at the bar to get to the bottom of everything that’s going on in the world of sports.
Point taken, but to me they are nowhere near each other at all. Cheating to gain an advantage is an inevitable consequence of competitive games existing. We expect sportspeople to strive as hard as they can to win, and though it’s unacceptable for them to break the rules to do so, it’s also understandable and something that speaks of trying too hard: it’s very relatable.
Match-fixing is not an inevitable consequence of competitive games, except inasmuch it is an inevitable consequence of gambling, which one might say was an inevitable consequence of competitive games. It is taking money to handicap your own chances of winning: the exact opposite of trying too hard to win. It does not simply betray our trust in sportspeople to follow the rules: it betrays our trust in sportspeople to even be trying to succeed.
Also it’s illegal, so there’s that.
Ten indisputably true things about the ball-tampering scandal
Afridi, I am guessing, didn’t conspire the way Smith and co did. Wouldn’t be surprised if there was some forethought in it though, give it was Afridi and he was no rookie to the ball tampering game.
Ten indisputably true things about the ball-tampering scandal
It’s not always trying to lose, but it’s never trying to win. Nobody bribes players to try their hardest and make decisions in the best interests of the team. Nobody ever pays $10,000 to a bowler with the words, “So on the 3rd ball of the eighth over, try to take a wicket”.
Ten indisputably true things about the ball-tampering scandal
Gavaskar wasn’t a habitual tortoise though, he had plenty of shots. I think in 75 he was just deeply offended by the idea of having to score such a ludicrous rate as 5 and a half an over, so he blocked it out as protest!
The out of time XI: History's greats taking on T20
I came VERY close to including O’Reilly. His wrong ‘un would’ve been devastating.
The out of time XI: History's greats taking on T20
Giffen would’ve been a good T20 bowler, but I believe his batting was more of the attritional kind.
The out of time XI: History's greats taking on T20
Which just confirms my theory that all modern problems stem from the Dogs 88 premiership team.
The depressing reality of the NRL's meat market
You can’t actually make statistics say whatever you want them to say. I want statistics to say Glenn Maxwell averages 80 with the bat and 15 with the ball in first class cricket, but no matter how hard I try, they simply won’t.
Picking Nathan Lyon in India would be a mistake
We might find out more about Smith’s willingness to bowl his all-rounders when he gets one in his team. Hilton Cartwright is no all-rounder.
Picking Nathan Lyon in India would be a mistake
Love it. I was going to write about Kyrgios but I need not because this piece is pretty much exactly what I would’ve written.
Nick Kyrgios doesn't owe you anything
Sadly, Kersi, it is. You can catch me weekly in the Green Guide and on Fairfax sites – but the daily column is gone I regret to say.
Stay strong, Sam Newman
I believe there was one occasion where Queensland didn’t select Lote Tuqiri because he was to be suspended, let him serve his suspension on the weekend, then brought him in as a last-minute replacement for the SOO game. Clever, really.
An even-handed look at Wade Graham
There is such a thing as cruel and unusual punishment.
An even-handed look at Wade Graham
I don’t have a brother. You have me confused with someone else.
Proof positive: Rugby league is the best
I have played a lot of sport. Which I guess means I never wrote this nonsense. I wonder who did?
Proof positive: Rugby league is the best
No, I was trying to hurt everyone. I am a wrecker.
Proof positive: Rugby league is the best
I have never heard of these writers you mention. I believe you are making them up.
Proof positive: Rugby league is the best
Are…are you accusing me of being a policewoman?
The official NRL player misdemeanour rate card
I have pictures of the Roar editors. Sick stuff.
The official NRL player misdemeanour rate card
Why would we need a gavel, when Lillee can simply call for order by kicking a batsman in the shins.
Ten indisputably true things about the ball-tampering scandal