The Roar
The Roar

Samuel Laffy

Roar Guru

Joined February 2016







30-ish year-old mediocre club cricketer, handy Wing Attack in mixed netball, occasional drainer of banked 3's in pick-up basketball, dedicated craft beer snob and enthusiastic traveler.



The only other option is talking about the ‘rona virus, and I reckon most people are well and truly over that! Of course the ‘love taps’ are nothing compared to the massive hits handed out by Bazza, etc. but the AFL do seem to pick and choose when they actually care about blokes punching other blokes.

The AFL is running a long con Danny Ocean would be proud of

The Blazers are one of the few teams to have the bodies (Nurkic, Whiteside, Collins) who can match up with the Lakers combo of Davis, Howard, McGee, etc. Problem normally is getting Whiteside to stay focused on defence – he did it in Game 1 but will be interesting to see if he can get consistency. The Blazers will take it to the Lakers, and they have Lillard so anything’s possible, but LA can’t possibly shoot any worse than they did in Game 1. Lakers will be hoping Rondo can get back on court to help them cover Lillard and force the rest of the Blazers squad to do all the scoring that Dame brings.

Portland Trail Blazers: Believe the hype

Article was getting a bit long as it was, so I didn’t even attempt to try to unpack the Zerrett suspension vs. other cases that have just been fines!

The AFL is running a long con Danny Ocean would be proud of

That used to be the rule – but from what I could find it’s now just a bigger fine – which is slightly insane. Although it certainly helped Ben Cunnington when he was up to his 5th charge last year – I think his total fine tally was around $15 000 in the end. Good payday for the AFL!

The AFL is running a long con Danny Ocean would be proud of

1000% agree – every time they show it I remark that it’s meaningless as I have no clue of how it’s measured, or indeed what a team needs to do to turn a ‘175’ pressure rating into a ‘220’ pressure rating.

Apparently unbeknownst to commentators and Fox Footy, I do in fact have eyes, which makes it easy to tell if a club is applying pressure or not – a ‘pressure gauge’ metric adds nothing!

Thoughts and observations: Gold Coast vs Essendon

Problem for Rankine is he’s a small forward – today he had 9 touches and kicked 0.1 . When the team’s playing well, he’ll probably play well. When they don’t, he’ll do virtually nothing. By no means a lock of Rising Star.

The 2020 Rising Star is already decided

Kamdyn McIntosh has played 95 games – including the 2017 GF – you’ve been very harsh on the poor bloke here.

Six talking points from AFL Round 9

The AFL’s idea of a ‘perfect’ game seems to be a 25-goal a side uncontested spectacle. They forget that ‘pleasing’ football often doesn’t equate to winning football (teams who preach all-out attack never win flags). Coaches thankfully are smarter than this, as are fans.

The holding the ball rule is not footy

Sounds like they’re a club worth getting behind – unfortunately ‘deserving’ something doesn’t really equate to anything in the sporting world! Let’s hope the seemingly equally adept offense and defense get them over the line…

Brentford deserve a shot at the EPL

Too right!

Australia's all time T20I XI

Ian Harvey was a genuine wizard in English Domestic T20’s when the format first started – I’m firmly throwing his hat into the ring.

Australia's all time T20I XI

Steve Tikolo’s record was about as good as it gets for an Associate cricketer in the 2000’s for what was quite a weak team after 2003 – 3500 runs @ 30 and 94 wickets @ 35. Thomas Odoyo from Kenya surely was close to a spot as well – snagged 145 wickets @ 29.9 in his international career. Davison’s 67-ball ton for Canada was outrageous, but he didn’t have the consistency to knock either of the openers out of this line-up.

Also, can we please include Dwayne Leverock as 12th man on the basis of his immortal one-handed slips catch against India?

My Associates ODI XI of the 21st century

Just going to put this stat from an article (I’ll put the URL at the end) to show you how much work umpires actually do. “The results showed boundary umpires covered 16.02km per game, while field umpires did 14.04km per game”. All the while trying to sort out which player is mauling another player in a pack of 10-15 blokes:

Five things I want to see in Round 9 of the AFL

I’m going to throw Andrei Kirilenko’s name in to the ring for a spot in a ‘positionless five’ – the man is one of only a handful of blokes to have multiples 5 x 5 statlines (and he’s a Jazz boy so I’ll always be backing him in!) Plus, he has an absurd full back dragon tattoo.

Basketball is positionless: how the Denver Nuggets use Nikola Jokic at point guard

I’d have Shoaib Malik in place of Haris Sohail – he offers a 35 average from 287 matches (including 9 centuries), and offers another handy bowling option. I’d also open up with Babar Azam, and have Mohammad Yousuf slotting in at number 3 in place of Saeed Anwar – the man was more known for his test exploits but was a hell of a batsman. Anwar/Akram/Younis might have played until 2003 – and Saqlain Mushtaq for that matter too – but I reckon you need to look for blokes who have played majority in 21st century.

My Pakistan ODI XI of the 21st century

Correct. Leicester’s EPL win is up there with the most outlandish upsets in the history of sport.

The biggest bets of the decade, 2010-19

I’d get rid of Plunkett (you’ve then got Flintoff at 8 who’s a better bowler than Plunkett in his prime, with Stokes as 6th bowler), drop KP down the order and open up with Jason Roy. Then in about two years time replace Woakes with Jofra.

My England ODI XI of the 21st century

I’d get rid of Miller, move De Kock down the order and open up with Herschelle Gibbs – the highlights of his 175 in the 9-438 chase are outrageous. (Plus, anyone who hits 36 off an over in a WC is fairly handy, regardless of who he hit it off)

South Africa's ODI XI of the 21st century

I don’t know what your selection criteria is in terms of blokes having to have played majority of their cricket in the 21st century, but my line-up would be as follows:
B. McCullum (WK), M. Guptill, K. Williamson, R. Taylor, N. Astle, C. McMillan, C. Cairns, D. Vettori (C), K. Mills, T. Boult, S. Bond. Firepower galore!

My New Zealand ODI XI of the 21st century

The only problem I see with this side is you’ve got 5 slips, gully, short leg, and then a single man in front of the bat on the off-side, and acres of space on the ground on the leg-side between mid-on and fine-leg. Might be difficult to stem the runs!

I do think – on a more serious note – that Symonds should be in the side as a given – as a catcher, run-saver, run-outer, and streaker-knocker-outer, there’s almost been none better!

Australia’s best fielding XI since 1970

Maybe let’s wait until – at the very least – an entire test match is played before jumping to any conclusions about umpires?

The problem with non-independent umpiring

New coach Ben Rutten you say? Did I miss something?

Essendon were so close – but really, so very far away

In 2018, the Gold Coast were 3-2. They finished 4-18.
In 2019, the Gold Coast were 3-1. They finished 3-19.
They’ve looked more impressive than they have in those seasons in the first two games back, but I’ll wait until they’re in the Top Eight in Round 11 or 12 before even beginning to speculate that they’re a finals contender.

Why Gold Coast are now a finals contender

I’d forgotten about that!

Integrity this, integrity that: Why the AFL needs to change their tune on 16-minute quarters

Cheers Peter!

I probably wouldn’t mind so much about quarter lengths if the AFL didn’t keep harping on about the ‘integrity’ of it all – but when have the AFL head honchos ever really been a logical beast?

Agree though. Can’t change it mid-round, but can easily change it before the start of one.

Integrity this, integrity that: Why the AFL needs to change their tune on 16-minute quarters