The Roar
The Roar

Dan Liebke

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Joined June 2013

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Dan Liebke is a comedy writer and former Nathan Hauritz impersonator, who has written multiple books on cricket (the details of which are all available at his website, liebcricket.com). He is a genuine all-rounder, equally inept with both bat and ball, and he steadfastly believes that cricket is the funniest, and hence best, sport that humanity has ever invented.

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Merv took 3 wickets from 3 consecutive balls over 3 overs and 2 innings. But it was all in the same match (last ball of one over, first ball of the next, ending the innings, then first ball he bowled in the following innings, for the record). Hence, a hat trick.

Jack Leach did not get 3 wickets from 3 consecutive balls in this Test (or any other). Jack Leach will not be on a hat trick.

The Liebke Report Card: Khawaja proves Warne principle, while Alpha Pat is most Australian captain ever

Look, it’s needlessly convoluted, I’ll grant you that. But then, so is cricket.

The Liebke report card: 'More nineties than downloading Alanis Morissette off Napster'

An excellent decision. Thank you.

The Liebke report card: 'More nineties than downloading Alanis Morissette off Napster'

Yes. And so is S**** W****.

'Tim Paine does ALL DRS calls' and Joe Root's other 'critical conditions' required for England to tour

Thanks Barry. That’s very kind.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, Third ODI

That’s a fun idea, Tim. I think you should write it.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, first ODI

Not now there isn’t

The Liebke Ratings: T20 World Cup final, Australia vs India

Further evidence for my theory that he’s now just a grumpy old retiree. “Marnus? What kind of name is that? Now, Marcus. That’s a proper name. Or Mark, which is even batter. I had a captain named Mark once.” “Brother, too, Steve.” “Hmmm? Oh, yes. I suppose so.”

The Liebke Ratings: India vs Australia, first ODI

Also unsportsmanlike. But also funny. So it’s all good.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs New Zealand, third Test

I was ridiculously pleased with myself when the possibility of working ‘one-up-Bradmanship’ into the piece came up.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Pakistan second Test

Nah. I didn’t say 144 was a base 12 number. But when you score as many runs as Steve Smith did in the first innings, that’s when you reach three figures in base 12. I think it’s pretty reasonable to therefore call 144 runs a century in base 12.

The Liebke Ratings: First Ashes Test

One of my favourites

The Liebke Ratings: First Ashes Test

To be fair, they were some remarkable sixes

The Liebke Ratings: Second semi-final, Australia vs England

I will be starting a GoFundMe to help finance my ongoing battle to provide alternatives to articles about Israel Folau. Please donate generously. I estimate I need approximately $3M.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Bangladesh

Surely when a sport is played at so many grounds with ‘cricket’ in the title it just makes sense to use that as its name. Saves a lot of explanation.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Sri Lanka

Thanks Pete. Truth be told, I may have dozed off a little in the middle overs of Pakistan’s run chase. But I got the gist and woke up again in time to see the ending. And that’s all that matters.

The Liebke Ratings: Pakistan vs Australia

It’s very dumb, very obscure and not actually all that funny. I fully accept that I may be the only person even faintly tickled by the idea that ’63’ upside down looks enough like ‘Eg’ that I can do a bit of wordplay on that. I don’t care. It made me happy.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India

The font used on this page more or less gets the job done. If looked at in the right way.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India

Bonus points to anybody who deduces what my favourite joke in this entire piece is. Hint: it’s not very funny and is overly reliant on both font typefaces and spatial rotation. But I don’t care. It’s my favourite.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India

Paine should definitely be demoted to vice-captain immediately. What, he thinks he’s better than everybody else?

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Sri Lanka, first Test

Curse Sri Lanka and their determination to collapse over a long weekend

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Sri Lanka, first Test

Thanks for buying the book. You’re the true hero here.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, second ODI

My parents have had a shocker. But they’re lovely people and I expect them to come good any time now. Deserve more opportunities at the highest level of my family.

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, fourth Test

They have the golden touch

The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs South Africa, first ODI

Glad to be back. Our long dark winter of assorted football code tomfoolery is over and a fresh cricket summer is about to dawn. The most magical time of the year.

The Liebke Ratings: Pakistan vs Australia, first Test

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