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The all-time great alphabet teams: Alphabet Ashes, Part 1

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Roar Guru
24th April, 2020
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In finalising my A to Z teams for Australian cricket, someone suggested I should select some England alphabet teams to play off against them, probably as a joke.

However, I am not one to shy away from a challenge, so here it is: the Alphabet Ashes! Welcome, cricket nerds!

For each letter of the alphabet, an England team has been selected and their relative strength has been tested using the same points system as for the Australian teams. For details of the scoring method, please refer here to the final article ranking the Australian alphabet teams.

For each letter they are put up against the corresponding Australian team to identify who is the stronger. For each head to head, there is either a win, loss or tie. At the end we will see which set of alphabet squads come out in top.

I suspect England’s larger pool of players, with about 515 county teams, will carry the day, although it may depend on the distribution of that depth to particular letters.

For the cricket nerds among you who are experts on English cricket, I spent months researching the Australian teams and a few hours in total on the England ones, so feel free to suggest plenty of changes.

I will present the head-to-head battles in the same order as my Australian team ranking, so that means the mighty QUXZ teams do battle first. Given the length, this will be a three-part series.

So without further ado, let us begin the Alphabet Ashes.

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QUXZ teams

England Australia
1 Saif Zaib Rob Quiney
2 Fred Unwin Michael Quinn
3 Francis Quinton Patrick Quinlan
4 Willie Quaife (leg spin) Keith Zeibell
5 Derek Ufton (WK) Robert Zadow
6 Walter Quaife (right arm medium) Stanley Quin
7 Bernard Quaife (WK) Tim Zoehrer (WK, captain)
8 George Ulyett (right arm fast) Adam Zampa
9 Shaun Udal (off spin) Andrew Zesers
10 Robin Udal (right arm fast) Ian Quick
11 Derek Underwood (captain) (left arm orthodox) Brian Quigley
Score 19 out of 50 16 out of 50

 

Verdict: Deadly Derek Underwood was the difference here. The Australia side has no all time great to match him. George Ulyett also played 25 Tests as a genuine all-rounder but it drops right off after that. Some of the batting is truly appalling.

England 1 Australia 0 (19 points to 16)

V teams

England Australia
1 James Vince Mike Veletta
2 Michael Vaughan (captain) Murray Vernon
3 Bryan Valentine Jeff Vaugh
4 George Vernon Adam Voges (captain)
5 Joseph Vine Graeme Vimpani
6 Frank Vigar Frederick Vaughan
7 Roy Virgin (WK) Tom Veivers
8 Hedley Verity (left arm orthodox) Brian Vincent
9 John Vincett (right arm medium) Leslie Vernon
10 Jack van Geloven (right arm medium) Roland Vaughton (WK)
11 Bill Voce (left arm fast medium) Jason Voros
Score 26.5 out of 50 16 out of 50
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Verdict: This is no contest. England have Vaughan, Verity and Voce, who are all good to great Test players. There are another four who have played Tests and the rest are pretty solid county stalwarts. England jump to an early lead.

England 2 Australia 0 (45.5 total points to 32)

Y teams

England Australia
1 Martin Young Graham Yallop (captain)
2 Jim Yardley Peter Young
3 William Yardley George Young
4 Ed Young Walter Yeates
5 Tom Young (right arm slow) Shaun Young
6 Norman Yardley (captain) Brad Young
7 Dick Young (WK) Allan Young
8 Michael Yardy (left arm orthodox) Bruce Yardley
9 Charles Young (left arm medium) Dennis Yagmich (WK)
10 Sailor Young (left arm medium) Fergus Yeates
11 Jack Young (left arm orthodox) Claye Young
Score 14.5 out of 50 19 out of 50

 

Verdict: Australia are on the board! This England team is very average. There are five international players, but they mostly played one or two Tests and their records are not special. No one averages over 35 with the bat in first-class cricket, and there is no pace at all in their set of left-handers. Yallop is the stand-out bat and Bruce Yardley is the quality bowler.

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England 2 Australia 1 (60 total points to 51)

I teams

England Australia
1 Reggie Ingle Frank Iredale
2 Ray Illingworth (captain) Jock Irvine
3 Ronnie Irani John Inverarity (captain)
4 James Iremonger Brad Inwood
5 Jack Ikin (leg spin) Mervyn Inverarity
6 Jack Iddon (left arm orthodox) Josh Inglis (WK)
7 Doug Insole (WK) Bill Ives
8 Richard Illingworth (off spin) Edward Illingworth
9 John Inchmore (right arm fast-medium) Mathew Inness
10 Mark Ilott (left arm medium-fast) Bert Ironmonger
11 Alan Igglesden (right arm fast-medium) Jack Iverson
Score 21 out of 50 22 out of 50

 

Verdict: This was a close one but Australia comes out on top to even the ledger. England have a quality captain but again their batting is really poor (Illingworth averaged 23.23 in Tests). We have a single first-class batting average over 40. The bowling is willing with Test experience but no players that were actually successful in Tests. The Australian spin twins of Ironmonger and Iverson will eat this team alive.

England 2 Australia 2 (81 total points to 73)

E teams

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England Australia
1 John Edrich (captain) Matthew Elliott (captain)
2 George Emmett Ken Eastwood
3 Bill Edrich Wally Edwards
4 John Evans Allan Edwards
5 Mark Ealham Ross Edwards
6 Laurie Eastman (right arm medium) Charles Eady
7 Godfrey Evans (WK) Phil Emery (WK)
8 John Emburey (left arm orthodox) Sid Emery
9 Phil Edmonds (off spin) Hans Ebeling
10 Tom Emmett (left arm fast) Edwin Evans
11 Richard Ellison (right arm medium-fast) Sam Everett
Score 28 out of 50 24 out of 50

 

Verdict: The batting here is fairly similar, with each team having two solid Test cricketers, but England have an advantage in spin bowling, with two experienced long-term Test cricketers. They also have one of England’s greatest ever wicketkeepers. England re-take the lead.

England 3 Australia 2 (109 total points to 97)

A teams

England Australia
1 Michael Atherton (captain) Jason Arnberger
2 Dennis Amiss Tommy Andrews
3 Bobby Abel Warwick Armstrong (captain)
4 Bill Athey Arthur Allsopp
5 Chris Adams Wayne Andrews
6 Moeen Ali (off spin) Ron Archer
7 Les Ames (WK) Mark Atkinson (WK)
8 David Allen (off spin) Ashton Agar
9 Gubby Allen (right arm fast) Jo Angel
10 Jofra Archer (right arm fast) Peter Allan
11 James Anderson (right arm fast medium) Terry Alderman
Score 33 out of 50 24.5 out of 50

 

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Verdict: England surge ahead as this is a landslide. The opening combination of Atherton and Amiss is very good and is a clear advantage. Australia have a slight advantage in middle-order batting. The pace bowling is even. Spin is an advantage to England and Les Ames averaged a Gilchrist-like 47 as a long-term Test keeper.

England 4 Australia 2 (142 total points to 121.5)

N teams

England Australia
1 Phil Neale Paul Nobes
2 Sam Northeast Jack Nitschke
3 Mark Nicholas (captain) Marcus North
4 Bill Newham Monty Noble (captain)
5 Stan Nichols (right arm fast) Peter Nevill (WK)
6 Jack Newman (right arm fast) Laurie Nash
7 Paul Nixon (WK) Tim Neilsen (WK)
8 George Nash (left arm orthodox) Ashley Noffke
9 Malcolm Nash (right arm medium) Michael Neser
10 Tony Nicholson (right arm medium) Matthew Nicholson
11 Phil Newport (right arm fast medium) Geff Noblet
Score 21.5 out of 50 25 out of 50

 

Verdict: A clear win to Australia. England only possess three internationals and only one player appeared in more than three Tests. No batsman averages over 40 in first-class cricket and only four average over 30. The bowling is not bad.

England 4 Australia 3 (163.5 total points to 146.5)

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So at the third-way point, England holds a slender lead, by a single match. The aggregate points definitely favour England, which might be their depth coming through. Come back next time for Part 2 as we seek to crown the winner of the Alphabet Ashes.

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