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Cricket Australia have moved to rectify February’s scheduling crisis by wedging in another tour of India.
The governing body announced the plan in response to criticism of the overburdened month of matches, which is set to shatter records for most formats of cricket compromised in one shameless money-grab.
February will showcase the BBL Finals, an international T20 tri-series and the tour of South Africa all cannibalising each other across one hectic month of eye-darting fluorescent fury.
Embarrassing intersections will see the Test squad flying to South Africa a day after the conclusion of the tri-series, which itself will weaken the BBL as it burgles the competition’s drawcards the day before the finals.
Select Test players will also depart for the Rainbow Nation midway through the month in a bid to be ready to snick-up against the rampaging Proteas.
Upon learning of the logjam, Test purists, international apologists and the weirdos who genuinely respect the Big Bash League have been accordingly outraged, with many wondering what happened to the good old days when February was just set aside for old-fashioned gratuitous ODIs.
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However, a grateful Cricket Australia has responded swiftly and positively to the public highlighting the issue mainly because it led them to discover an untapped 24-hour window in the month which remained oddly unexploited by superfluous and meaningless made-for-TV cricket.
As a result, remorseful administrators have “acknowledged the inadequacies” of the schedule by immediately topping it up with five ODIs in India.
Preliminary proposals will see these matches wedged into the gaping vacancy between the tri-series final and the opening tour match in South Africa, with an additional three T20s planned should they strike it lucky at the baggage carousel.
Two of these matches will be conveniently staged on the traditional Sydney-to-Cape Town stopover in Kolkata, with the remaining three in the centre aisle of the plane.
A deeply apologetic Cricket Australia also admitted they had erred in judgement, especially after overlooking it had been nearly four months since they last played India.
Furious officials have also vowed to punish the individual who carelessly ratified Australia’s summer schedule without the approval of the Board of Control for Cricket in India.
While reluctant to name suspects, one unnamed Cricket Australia official highlighted the schedule was developed under the previous collective bargaining agreement so we should “probably just blame the players”.