The differences between English and Australian cricketers are never so evident as when either side is winning. The victorious English cricketer trots around the park happily enough, but one can sense his mind thinking: is this it? Is this victory? Gosh, it’s all rather dull.
The victorious Australian cricketer is a different beast entirely. One can sense his mind thinking: I knew it. We bloody well are the best. Let’s trample these impudent bastards into the turf.
It’s a fascinating contrast, and it doesn‘t take many brain cells to conclude which will be the more successful approach in sport. But there is one regrettable aspect to the Australian mindset, and that is the bully boy mentality that comes with it.
An Australian team in the ascendancy is a shocking sight: pitiless, ruthless, almost barbaric in its feverish desire to slake the opposition in as humiliating a fashion as possible. Thus today we witnessed a pack of Baggy Greens descending upon Paul Collingwood like starving hyenas spotting the carcass of a giraffe in the African savannah.
The unspoken message: “You fancy yourself as a tough character, mate. Well, let’s see how tough you are now”. Brad Haddin’s vile abuse of the phlegmatic Stuart Broad, clearly over-heard on the stump microphone, presumably sprang from the same atavistic desire to dominate.
The irony, as those of you listening to the English commentary team might have detected, is that the English rather enjoy being bullied.
Perhaps it goes back to long dormant public school urges, but to be pushed around by a gum-chewing Antipodean in a tattered cap can be quite thrilling.
There was a palpable sense of disappointment in England when Cricket Australia banned its chaps from sledging. Indeed, the only thing more pleasurable to an Englishman than being treated sadistically is to enjoy a sense of moral superiority over others. Hence the noisy disapproval – most of it entirely confected – directed towards the Barmy Army for the terrible crime of booing Ricky Ponting.
It all makes the earlier chatter that England are great front-runners – instigated by Shane Watson and continued by the Aussie press – seem comically ill-informed. In truth, the English are terrible front-runners, as Duncan Fletcher has observed countless times.
Put an Englishman on a beach with six German Panzer divisions bearing down on him, and all is well in his world. Put him 1-0 up in a series with the opposition captain teetering on the precipice, and he’ll complain how frightfully rude it is to boo the poor chap.
The English cricket community this summer has been like an errant schoolboy who by some miracle has found the cane in his hands and the schoolmaster at his mercy. Horrified that the natural order of things has been over-turned, he promptly returns the cane to his tutor with a deferential bow, spins on his heel, and bends over.
Ricky Ponting will duly administer the punishment at The Oval and, like any true Australian cricketer, shall no feel no remorse whatsoever.
Dave1
Guest
"Half-sardonic, half-serious", thats a bit confusing
Zolton
Editor
Guys, please! Keep the focus on sport and not history. interesting though it may be. Zolton [Ed]
Viscount Crouchback
Guest
Singapore is a controversial topic which has been debated by historians for decades. This is hardly the place to discuss it, but since you raised the issue, I thought I might respond. My reply to your post was designed to give you some pause for thought before you are tempted to throw around accusations of "spinelessness" in future. Doubtless your Grandfather fought well, but that wasn't true of all the Australian troops in Singapore. The behaviour of many of them was said to be quite disgraceful. It was hardly the finest hour for Britain either. That said, the splendid fortitude shown by both nations' men in other theatres more than wipes the stain. It is quite wrong for us to argue about Singapore when so many of our respective countrymen paid a blood price there and elsewhere. Certainly, the bravery and loyalty of Anzac troops in the wars of 1900-45 will never be forgotten.
Marky Mark
Guest
Funny that one. My great uncle has a DSO presented to him by King George V for defending a position against "enemy artillery and numbers far greater than their own" and holding that position without falling back. If name calling is the strength of your argument then what a disappointment!
Viscount Crouchback
Guest
Well, the defence might have lasted longer if the Australian troops hadn't deserted to go off looting and raping. The British called them "daffodils" - beautiful to look at, but yellow right through.
Marky Mark
Guest
Laughed at this as well. Remember Singapore...not even a Panzer division in site but just some well starved and low on ammunition Japanese and the English put their hands up (despite their commander-in-chief giving a direct order not to). Not only that but they forced all the others in the Commonwealth to do the same. Pretty spineless, really. Get off your high horse, matey!
Dave
Guest
in days to come though people like Warne and Ponting will be talked about as being larger than life
Colin N
Guest
Lets all hail the Australian cricket team, the most sporting team in the world of sport. If only the English could follow their example. After all, the English have only won the 'spirit of cricket' award twice. That's just not good enough.
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
Dave..good read there. Haigh is a brilliant writer. And Miller was quinessentially Australian. These were larger than life cricketers. Some of our so called stars nowadays appear cardboard caricatures.
Dave
Guest
Back to the days when Arthur Morris went to the cricket as a kid and found out cricketers swore. http://books.google.com.au/books?id=z8LNuT6hl6EC&pg=PA40&lpg=PA40&dq=morris+arthur+bill+bowled+it+1936+haigh+cricket&source=bl&ots=1LuTvzQNpq&sig=z3bTgLq4VF5_6BY-AtkaJn_2faw&hl=en&ei=esh_SonyJNafkQWF5viLAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Lewie
Guest
Haddin did not sledge Broad, at least not in the example Viscount Crouchback provided. Flintoff in particular has been very lippy this series. From my purely viewing experience, this series has been conducted in very fine spirit. It appears you English supporters have only started whinging about the sledging etc during this 4th test. I guess it's purely coincidence that you lost this test. The Aussies did not whinge about the Strauss "non-catch" in Cardiff. Ponting answered a question put to him by the press. I can think of no other comment regarding it from an Australian player or team-member. In fact, as opposed to my opinion of Strauss' actions, they appeared quite happy to accept Strauss' word that he believed he caught it. Australian crowds are certainly guilty of booing opposition fans at times. However i cannot recall one instance where an opposition player has been booed on to the playing arena.
Lewie
Guest
Haddin did not rush up to the wicket TO swear at Broad. He rushed up to the wicket to be over the stumps for the return of the ball from the outfield. He swore at Broad because Broad mysteriously found it necessary to run in to Haddin whilst contemplating whether to take a 2nd run. Haddin's language may not have been appropriate for the squeamish amongst us (i.e. those who are so obviously prepared to ignore similar outbursts from English players as it does not suit their argument) but the incident was arguably instigated by Broad who it should be noted has carried on with pathetic faux rage and swagger throughout the series.
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
Hi Eric...War is a messy business. I am all for generals who put the safety of their men first. Against egotistical Generals smoking cigars and working in the back room. Cricket Internationally is not played by angels. But if I work on the principle that I dont want to come down to the lowest common denominator I have a life map. Ultimately there is no justifcation for bad manners. Commentatators and cricketers,alike,need to lif their game. Even if Viscount's piece was a stir many a truth is said in jest.
eric
Guest
Gee Vinay, your references are going over my head. I presume the article was a stir, but, given I am reading a book about the Light Horse in the Middle East in WWI, I am sensitive to references to Englands military willingness. On the behaviour in this series, I can't hear Peter Roebuck. If Strauss was an Aussie claiming that half volley catch, he'd be pilloried, and asked to resign. If Rudi K and Doctrove gave out India's first four batsmen (ala Lords) India would be on the first plane home, with Roebucks consent, and Koertzen banned from officiating. Collingwood loves a scrap, and Aussies generally admire him. He'd take it as a compliment!
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
This subterfuge evokes memories of Christine Keeler and Profumo
davido
Guest
It is witty unless you are on the end of it. In the context of recent times, it cannot at all be taken lightly.
davido
Guest
Thanks... happy to be one eyed as I am happy for others to be. Surely you have noticed it is ok for any other team to behave in any fashion without any moral condemnation. The fact that this article exists is evidence of this. You can scour the press but you wont find any moral condemnation of England's victory at the second test. Could any Australian bowler get away with arguing with the umpire over a wide call like Broad did yesterday without sanction? Dont think so.
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
Dave..more aligned to the disillusionment with modern society as in The Lovesong of Alfred Prufrock. The decay of good manners and the yearning of man for a more utopian world.
Viscount Crouchback
Roar Rookie
Half-sardonic, half-serious, Vijay. Make your own mind up as to which bits are which.
Dave
Guest
I thought is was a Roebuck parody.......now I'm confused