Did I say 19 points? Oh ho ho! What a chuckle. The only people laughing louder than me (and probably AT me too), are the Scottish fans who quite rightly will be dining out on this victory for quite some time to come.
There’s also a few deranged giggles coming from the Wallaby fan section, and the men in white coats must be on the cusp of an influx of new patients from that bunch. And that tittering you can hear coming from the south? The All Blacks and Springboks giggling at the hapless men in gold.
Predictions? What a thankless business. And as if anyone could predict anything this Wallaby side is going to do anyway. Just about every time you think they must have run out of ways to twist the knife into the chests of their loyal supporters, they conjure up a flabbergasting loss to the 9th ranked side in world rugby, who never looked like scoring against them.
The Wallabies are fast becoming a scoff-fest of their own making, and the stream of scoffable items just never stops coming. Matt Giteau’s nomination for IRB Player Of The Year? Pfffft. The Bumble Brothers Horwill and Chisolm in the second row? Yuk yuk. The Wallabies ability to convert pressure into points? Har de har har.
The Wallaby team went into this Test match hoping to right the awful injustices of their quality effort against Ireland, and came away emphasising their complete inability to deal with even the mildest of threats. The comedy in the whole thing was that this Australian side was up against a Scottish side with basically no attack whatsoever, who never looked like scoring a try. Despite this clear advantage, the Wallabies still couldn’t put them away.
The pockets of quality in the Wallaby team – Wycliffe Palu, Will Genia, Rocky Elsom – were unable to disguise the yawning shortcomings in certain positions – Matt Giteau, Ryan Cross, James Horwill, Mark Chisolm, Sekope Kepu.
Cross is miles from being a Test quality centre. Contrast his meek surrender in the tackle with an Ioane or a Mortlock in damage mode, and you get some inkling of the popgun attack that Robbie Deans is forced to play with when the injury toll mounts. Coupled with Cross’ scatty decision making, (remember his turnover offload after gathering a loose pass from Genia?) you can imagine that the Scots must have licked their lips when he appeared on the team sheet.
As for the Blunder Brothers, Horwill and Chisolm, if you listen carefully you can hear the Benny Hill music somewhere in the background when these two get their hands on the pill. During one moment of slapstick, the ball was clear on the Wallaby side of the ruck when the Blunder Brothers entered and sealed it off from their own players. My head was shaking involuntarily at the hopelessness of it all.
During the week Matt Giteau was nominated for the IRB Player of the Year trophy and to his credit he modestly averred that he was unlikely to win. Against the Scots, it was almost as if he was playing to prove it. His option taking at pivot was again poor – kicking when he should have run, and running when he should have kicked. His first half field goal attempt when the Wallabies were hard on attack smacked of a man who had run out of options and didn’t know what else to do.
There was no setup, no composure about it, just an ill-conceived snap at the posts. As the ball evaporated out to the left, so did the Wallabies chances of converting their efforts into something meaningful.
Sure Giteau put Moore into a gap and he almost scored, but the gap was created just as much by Moore’s straight running as Giteau’s sleight-of-hand. His grubber kicks were way overweight, and placed in behind the traffic of a breakdown so few Australian chasers were able to get through in time to pressure the fullback.
As for his goalkicking, well, what to say? Giteau has never been a radar boot of the likes of Carter or Wilkinson, and so you always expect him to miss a few. But his inability to self correct when he started slicing under the ball and drifting it left was a real worry. Every miss was the same error, particularly with the final conversion attempt where he took so long to kick that the Scottish players were only inches away from a chargedown.
As I have said, there were pockets of sunlight amid the gloom. Wycliffe Palu was tireless (who thought a year ago they would see that name and that adjective in the same sentence?). His willingness to take the ball forward, and his effectiveness in doing it was unmatched by any other player, and he was the standout for the beaten Wallabies.
Elsom once again turned in a tradesmanlike performance, as did his hookers Moore and Polota-nau. George Smith was also effective, but his impact in the tackle compared to Pocock was slightly less and he is now a clear number two in the Wallaby pecking order.
Genia was again excellent in most facets, but even his quicksilver attitude couldn’t dispel the gloom. His replacement Burgess’ pass regularly floated high and increased Giteau’s uncertainty. Burgess also managed a cold drop in a promising position, relieving pressure on the Scots.
He wasn’t alone. Sekope Kepu also managed to get in the way when the Wallabies were hard on attack, and he backed that up by conceding a penalty in the subsequent scrum, thus becoming a virtual Scot for 3 minutes, as no player in a blue jersey could have averted the pressure quite so effectively.
Having said all this, the Scots used their only real weapon, hard and willing defence, to good effect. Whenever a Wallaby carried the ball forward, they were in real danger of being belted or having the ball turned over, or both. The Scots had plenty off opportunities to tackle, and tackle they did. At half time they had made twice as many tackles as their counterparts, and instead of wearing them down, it seemed to invigorate them, as they realised that the Wallabies (Palu aside) didn’t want to do the hard yards with the ball in hand or at the breakdown.
Eventually the pressure told and the Scots realised the truth of the worst kept secret in international rugby – that the Wallabies would implode if they kept the pressure on.
For the last two minutes, and with the match all but gone, the Wallabies finally conjured up the phases that they had been missing for the previous 79 minutes, and worked a try to Cross. It was close enough to give Giteau a chance at winning the match, but predictably he missed the kick.
If you look at the stats, the Wallabies probably should have won. But their inability to convert showed them to be pretenders in the chase for the Grand Slam. In that sense the Scots actually did us all a favour by throwing out any possibility that this team might be compared to the greats of 1984. They’re not in the same ballpark. Actually that’s inaccurate. In truth, they’re not even in the same postcode.
As for the rest of the tour, brace yourselves Wallaby fans – this could get worse.
Amband
Guest
too many Queenslanders in the side. Forwards in the backline. Selectors not selecting personnel well. Get rid of the selectors and Dean. I knew Alan Jones was the better choice. Sadly not chosen. Deans is the Arsene Wenger of rugby
Rab
Guest
Mr sherlock Clown
Andrew Logan
Guest
No I don't! What's the Pippinu rule?
Pippinu
Roar Guru
Only comes into effect once we get over 800 posts!! :)
Brett McKay
Guest
Loges, you do know about the Pippinu Rule, right??
Terry Kidd
Guest
Hey Loges ... will the 'magic' extend to getting the Wallabies up against Wales .... gee, I hope so cos I'm not seeing too much magic in the backline .... an absolute glut of possession and they were totally directionless .... I blame Giteau for that.
Andrew Logan
Guest
Ok then. I'll do it.
Andrew Logan
Guest
Anyone want to make one more comment to take this column over the magic 300 mark?
Gary Royle
Guest
Football wise, I favour Australian Rules. I watch other (usually only 10 minutes or so until I get bored with lack of action) codes' matches on pay TV quite often. I saw the last 30 minutes or so of the Rugby Union test between Scotland and Australia. This was easily the most boring piece of so called football I've ever seen. Football?, the ball is rarely kicked. The amount of "dead ball" time is excruciatingly high. Pileups, where nothing that appears to be furthering the outcome of the match are extremely unattractive and all too regular. Forward passing is rarely adjudicated on, yet it seems to happen more often than not, and, in this match, passing (throwing) the ball at all, was a rarity. With the commentators muttering to each other, their excitement levels low, there seemed to be little point describing the match as play was either held up, out of bounds or in one of those massive pile ups presumably as the Australians thought their extra strength and weight would further their cause, not to mention balls finding touch only for an ensuing and seemingly contrived "throw in" or whatever they're called. I sat there thinking to myself that this game of rugby, as inherently unattractive as it is to my eyes, needs a severe overhaul, as it must surely die a natural death from (mainly) stoppages and scrums. One can't look away from an AFL game for more than a second or two without missing out on an important piece of play. You could make a highlights package of the recent test entirely of play making scenes and it would probably run for a few non skillful minutes. As someone emailed to this site mentioned that the Aussies should practise diving over the tryline with the ball. Is he kidding. I thought that comment pretty much summed up how much actual ball skills are required to play this game.
Bob McGregor
Guest
Why am I not surprised? In my earlier long post I raised the perception of culture and lack of pride in the old values. The me me me era is now so entrenched in the young, nothing short of a massive depression accompaning a huge financial demise of fiat currencies will make them rethink. Unfortunately this lesson is imminent. Once the pendulum swings too far it always swings back. Hopefully I will be a fly on the wall when it occurs as it is always great to live in interesting times.
ohtani's jacket
Guest
So Deans can ride on the coattails of his Crusaders success forever? If you sacked him, you could save four to five hundred thousand a year. That seems like a good enough incentive to me since he's shown no signs of improvement and his results are crap.
ohtani's jacket
Guest
The All Blacks have struggled to counter attack this year and have adopted a more conservative territory and posession game. Until the Wallabies can control a Test match, they'll continue to lose more than they win. They're pretty much the equivalent of a puncher who can't win on points.
Greg Russell
Roar Guru
I agree with TT that Australia far from leads the way in terms of exports to European rugby (although the numbers would go up significantly if one counted ex-league players, e.g. Gower, Gasnier, Rooney), and this is conveniently forgotten by those (both administrators and journos) who constantly talk up Australia's overseas depth. When London South Africans (aka Saracens) beat the Springboks the other day, I thought "There's the players for South Africa's 6th S14 side". (Only problem is, they are the wrong skin color for the Southern Kings.) Andrew - the murky world of being a player manager involves posting your client's CV far and wide, whether or not the player has asked for that. If you get a good bite, you then go to your player and say "Hey, I know you didn't ask me to do this, but did you know I can get you a contract worth three times your current one with Biarritz?" That's simply a manager doing his job. I am not in denial here, but I think you have to be realistic about the meaning of the information from your contact. The key point is going to be how many players actively asked their managers to investigate playing overseas. I have no idea.
True Tah
Guest
Andrew, losing for the 1st time in 25 years to Scotland is not something you would want on a Wallaby resume. If these blokes reckon they can get a gig over in France good luck. Already the FFR is looking to restrict the number of foreigners in their leagues, and if anything, they will probably look at getting Springboks and All Blacks. On a per game basis, the Wallaby players would have to be the richest in the world. One thing I dont get is the argument that there are herds of Aussie rugby players starring on the rugby fields of Europe, and this is what the ARU is suggesting as one of the potential sources of players for Victoria S15. I have looked at the team sheets and there are plenty of South Africans, Kiwis, Argentinians and Islanders, but relatively few Aussies.
Terry Kidd
Guest
Mate, the idea must come from my ex-military past .... I was an infantry officer .... I can imagine how my platoons and companies would have performed if run by committee !!!! Leadership groups are a load of bull !!!! Every group has a leader, human nature calls for it, and looks for it. Good leaders don't need co-captains or leaders because they know when to listen to opinions and they know when to be authoriative. Young people, including young inexperienced Wallabies, need to learn this simple fact of life .... just like some sports coaches need to learn it too. Every group has a pecking order .... but the captain, the general, is alone at the top !!! Yes, I know he has flaws, and the occasional brain explosion, but I would allow Cooper to run the game without Giteau's interference, but under Elsom's leadership .... Elsom to confirm and enforce the decisions on game direction and everyone else to shut up, put their heads down, shoulders to the wheel and get their jobs done. Then lets see where this young and inexperienced side goes against Wales .... it would probably implode against the Boks or ABs or France (the hard heads) but against Wales it has the chance to soar .... and imagine the confidence that would breed !!!
Andrew Logan
Guest
Interesting footnote - I just spoke to a contact in France who is involved with a major professional club in the French Top 14. If you needed any further reason to be disillusioned with this Wallaby team - try this.... He reckons that they have had roughly 2/3 of the current Wallaby squad's CV's over their head coaches desk in the last 3-4 months, looking for opportunities post World Cup 2011. He said that most of the Australian coaches he knows in Europe have had the same experience. The reality of the professional era - rugby loyalty and national pride as we used to know it is dead.
stillmissit
Roar Guru
Terry - Why would the Wallabies watch DVD's of some old (probably dead) Wallabies? They are too busy with Twitter and facebook anyway they building their own future, you must remember they are still very young and inexperienced.
stillmissit
Roar Guru
Terry - Now you are getting it! This talk of a General has me worried though. Where did this idea come from? Dont you know that young people dont like or need Generals. They have a leadership group that they all belong to. DO NOT TRY TO TELL THEM WHAT TO DO. Come to that a suggestion is looked on with scorn and a pointer is simply laughed at. Giteau is a fantastic member of the leadership group, I am starting to worry that you are really not getting it?
Terry Kidd
Guest
Aw gee ... thanks Stillmissit ... I probably needed that eye opener .... obviously my rugby thinking is sooo brain dead that I can't see the new age for all the other old players standing in front of me shaking their heads and mumbling into their beer about lost opportunities or wrong options. Lol, maybe these guys should not study dvds of recent Welsh play at all this week and should simply watch dvd after dvd of Wallaby matches, yes, even defeats, of the last 20 years. I just want somebody to step up and lead, to organise, to call the shots, to be the general .... and Giteau has shown he isn't the man ... so don't even put him on the field where he will just stuff it up ... again.
stillmissit
Roar Guru
Terry Kidd - You are just NOT on the front page of the New! New! thing. We kick for field position, passing and catching are sooooo! last season. Oh! and counter attacking and kick chasing is very passe, it burns a lot of aerobic fitness that we need for the last 5mins of the game, to try to win it, or try to save it. Please get on the program and start to enjoy the spectacle.