Backed up by the hired goons at Clubs Australia, the lobby group with the gall to stand up there and tell us what is and what isn’t Australian, his complaint is that proposed laws to curb problem gambling will cost AFL clubs millions.
Tens of millions, in fact, says Clubs Australia. Well, tens of millions collectively. Once you factor in all the adjustments. And if the projected slump in revenue transpires. Extrapolated over about five hundred years. During which all the customers die of plague.
I haven’t seen hysteria like this outside a Beatles documentary.
Clubs Australia are an extravagant joke of an organisation, prepared to dog-whistle till their lungs pop to protect their revenue stream.
It was obvious from the opening seconds of their anti-regulation ad just how directly they were aiming for the lowest common denominator.
Oh look, that guy’s wife is a caricatured screaming shrew. Cos, you know, women are really annoying and that. Geddit? Do ya geddit? Yeah, chicks eh? Crazy moll.
Then, Chumpface and Co. head down to the pokies to complain about governments telling us what to do.
“They’ll be telling us how many beers to have next,” scoffs Bruce. If you’re about to drive your mate home, then they probably should, Brucie.
If there’s one thing you can take away from the ad, it’s that the second anyone says ‘un-Australian’, you can ignore anything else that comes out of their mouth bar tapeworm. The term has less meaning than supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Nobody but nobody has the right to dictate what being Australian means. National identity, and its place in our lives, is innately personal and individual.
So-called Australian values are the values of decent people. You’ll find them in every country on earth. You’ll also find dickheads, in droves. I’ve met plenty of them in Australia. The Hawthorn Footy Club could probably point you to a few.
Yet ‘un-Australian’ is trotted out to silence debate, to illegitimatise other views, to make opponents into enemies. Let’s stop by the pokies for a flutter. Let’s stop by Cronulla and rough up some Lebs. Lead the way, Brucie.
Clubs Australia have shown no hesitation in going for this most odious kind of populism. Now they’re following it up with a similar tactic – the claim reforms will kill footy clubs.
I mean, we all like football, right? We’re all ordinary, Aussie, non-un-Australian blokes who love footy. Imagine if these reforms came in. No more football for you.
And not just AFL, but leagues clubs too – New South Wales has the highest gambling revenue in the country. The Sisters of Mercy will have us all watching needlework contests at the Stitchodrome by the end of 2012.
“According to modelling by Clubs Australia,” reported The Age, “Hawthorn would have to spend $1.125 million to upgrade its 75 machines and adopt a mandatory pre-commitment system.”
“Mr Kennett said most AFL clubs could not afford the upgrade, and smaller clubs could be destroyed.”
Aside from the brilliant move of having the main lobby group against pokie reform doing the ‘modelling’, does anyone else find it less than plausible that the cost will be $15,000, per machine, to install a spending-limit system?
The joint that jailbroke my mate’s iPhone could probably do it for fifty bucks apiece. Or you could pay a kid to switch it off at the wall.
Whatever the expense of modifications, clubs will more than cover them in the first year alone. Hawthorn made over $4 million from pokies last year.
The reason they’re so jealously guarding their machines is precisely because of that insane profitability.
Set them up, pay one bored attendant to sit in the corner, and watch the grey money flow in.
In any case, AFL clubs are hardly the poor cousins of Australian society. They can probably afford a dampener on their earnings, more than suburban Alzheimers sufferers can afford to forget pouring away their life savings.
Abolishing the slave trade probably put a dent in a few bullion stacks as well, but no-one is suggesting that Luke Hodge find a ship and sail to the Hawks’ next Gabba match via Vanuatu.
Not to mention the fact that the Western Australian clubs don’t have pokies at all, in line with state law, yet appear to be curiously present (and solvent) in current competition. I could swear I saw Freo play just the other day.
As for clubs going to the wall, the AFL’s new rights deal is flirting with the billion-dollar mark. The league is spending tens of millions setting up new franchises, stadia, and fixturing arrangements.
There’s as much likelihood they’ll let a club fail in the next few years as there is of Kennett re-opening Fitzroy High School.
“For government to keep changing the rules after people have entered into arrangements, in good faith, is unacceptable procedure,” said the former Premier.
Yes, mate. We also once had an arrangement, in good faith, that I could get onto a train and a guy would sell me a ticket, rather than four of them tackling me to the ground and abusing me for being a criminal.
Guess where that went?
And is it any coincidence that Kennett is still a director at Amtech, a company that services poker machines? The thousands of them lining Crown Casino are thanks largely to the same man.
The whole thing stinks like a midsummer fish market. The Clubs Australia premise is a fraud. So is the hackneyed image of Aussie blokeship that they’re trying to invoke.
It’s perfectly symbolised by the fact that Tug Dumbly, the actor who plays the more buffoonish of the characters, is actually one of Australia’s very best poets and comedic performers.
He’s a fierce intellect who has spent years savaging companies and attitudes like those he’s now the grease-smeared face of.
But a self-employed entertainer has to eat, even if it is six hash browns, and it doesn’t take much to slip the bloke mask on. Ask the blokes who do it every day.
If you’ve given a second of thought to Kennett’s Nostradamus act, get real. Imagine this scene for a minute. The Hawks’ accountant tells them the reforms have passed Parliament, and they’re going to have to spend a mil to keep the pokies running next year.
What do you think Kennett would say?
“Well… ok fellers, I guess we’d better pack it in, hey? We’ve had a good run. Got ten premierships, somehow managed to make poo-wee stripes look respectable… yeah, as my old mate Gough said, it’s time. Let’s call it a day.”
Rubbish. I know it, Andew Demetriou knows it, and Jeff Kennett knows it better than anyone.
Restrictions on pokies are not going to bring any clubs down.
But maybe they’ll help them survive with a little more dignity.
Andrew
Guest
Wouldn't it be possible now with $1.25 billion floating around from TV rights, that poker machine revenue could be made redundant by AFL clubs? This financial windfall could quite easily back a major social stand by the AFL and its clubs by turning the machines off altogether - not selling them, keeping the licenses - and getting on their moral high horse which they love to do. I think with the focus from Wilkie & Xenophon on this issue, and inadvertently Clubs Australia keeping it in the spot light (thanks Singo you parasite - people won't fall for your rubbish anymore, but keep it in the papers nonetheless, cheers) and the over promotion of betting on sport & match fixing issues, that Demetriou would be stupid not to see this as his next big moral challenge. We've seen the awareness & education on racism & depression among others that have really been influenced by AFL. Gambling should be next.
Libby Mitchell
Guest
Could people please check our new Australian Consumer Laws 2010, especially Chapter 3, Division 4, Sections 100-101? TELL me if POKIES meet that law's demands that calls for ALL businesses to provide receipts to ALL consumers who spend over $75 on a purchase, in the case of pokies a session of pokies recreation, like dining out or watching a ball game.? The rest of the argument here is secondary. Pokies apparently breach our safety laws daily and the pokies industry MUST fix its own problems here. Instead it is asking for people to ignore the fact that it is being irresponsible if it rides roughshod over our laws.
merv
Guest
AnthLC you are spot on with that question, they survive the way all clubs used to before the pokie invasion, for starters they dont build huge new white elephant complexes that cost a fortune to maintain and are rarely used, they provide decent entertainment and reasonable meals at an affordable price....oh hang that means they might have to compete with their neighborhood small business restaurant owner they have been screwing over for years with their pokie funded cheap get em to gamble promo meals, that leads me to money back to the community, i remember one independent study done a couple of years ago that examined the claims by a certain group of clubs that they had returned over $30 million to their local communties. The study found that after discounting claimed value of meal and entertainment vouchers, etc etc actual true dollar value was $800,000. At the same time the profit the machines in these clubs had ripped out of the local community was in the order of $300 million. Absolutely outrageous lies and distortion, was referred to the State Govt Minister and promptly swept under the carpet and never heard from again, one of these clubs then went onto build itself a $200million "clubhouse" and the State Govt minister came to open what is now a white elephant and praised all involved. Tell you makes me sick in the guts!!!
AnthLC
Guest
My question is how do WA clubs raise revenue? I am total agreement with your article and wrote a letter to the local paper in support of the pre-commitment, after our local club president wrote a letter opposing the changes doom and gloom. Signed the getup petition too. I think if more information about WA clubs could be found, it would negate the "cry poor" argument clubs sprout. Lastly they need to be embarrassed about how much of this revenue goes back into the community, reports I seen it is as low as 1-3% of total poker revenue they make is returned. The fact Woolies and Coles are involved it more about big business then community clubs survival.
Anfalicious
Guest
I love the irony of those whom protest against government regulation (y'know, rules made by the people we elect) are quite happy with allowing corporate powers to set the legislative agenda.
mick h
Guest
they have that choice but it would interesting to see what australia would be like today if the japanese had won and germany prevailed we possibly would not all be here expressing our opinion.
mick h
Guest
1. if the government wants to biring in this policy let them pay for it not the clubs or pubs casino's 2. if i want to go and put $500 of my hard earned into a pokie machine thats my choice. 3. i agree we need regulation but when the policy is stupid do we just roll over and say thats ok. over regulation is unproductive. 4. geoff if i've got 1k and i want to put in on a horse for the win and it loses i have lost that money quicker than a pokie so how is a pokie the quickest way to lose. 5. being a returned ex serviceman myself with many family members who did not return and two grandfathers who fought but luckily returned i think i have an accurate and objective arguement ragarding the anzacs and military history
Sue Pinkerton
Guest
Research conducted by Mark Dickerson back in 2004 found that 48% of poker machine users spend more than they intend to on a regular basis. This is not true only for pokie addicts, but for ALL people who play the pokies. Even the couple who on play the pokies once every two months or so, overspend on a regular basis. They may intend to spend $20 each but regularly spend $30 each. While this excess and the infrequency of their gambling doesn't put them anywhere near the problem gambling category, it does increase venue income from this couple by 1/3...an amount the venue could lose if the couple set a limit of $20 each and are then prevented from exceeding that limit. Given this finding, is it any wonder the industry is fighting hard to stop everyone being offered the opportunity to set a daily limit and to have all poker machine players prevented from exceeding the amount they plan to spend?
dasilva
Guest
Except that no one are trying to ban pokie machine. The clubs will still have access to pokie machine It is just a safeguard that says that people who gamble at pokie machine get to put down how much they are willing to lose before hand. They can put in unlimited if they want to This is similar to credit card company putting in spending limits that the consumers themselves set. Is that a violation of free choice as well? If due to this regulation, people CHOOSE not to gamble as much then why should you care.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
Fantastic attitude, champ. If only there were more people like you.
TrueBlue
Guest
Look if 40 per cent of the billions raked in by clubs comes from pokie addicts and they lose thier houses and hang themselves who cares......free choice and I spend $20 a week on the xlots and no ones gonna tell me to have a card. Good luck to the club owners , there is to much big brother these days. The only way for problem gamblers to help themselves is to spend every dollar they have in the pokies and hit rock bottom and the rest of us can have a cheap meal and a bowl across the road. I didn't ask the problem gamblers to have kids or get addicted and starve them either. who cares not me and many more like me. They reckon 500,000 pokie players are problem gamblers it aint my fault and they need to show self control like I do.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
Yes, but the 99% figure is a furphy, because the other 99% of people don't necessarily use pokies. Not every Australian gambles. The same commission said only 4% of adults use poker machines once a week or more. Meaning that problem gamblers make up a third of regular pokie users (the problem gambler rate is more like 1.7% of total population rather than 1%). And yes, 40% of the billions of dollars earned comes from that 1.7 percent of the population.
clipper
Guest
mick h - I don't think the ANZACs fought and died so that people could pour their life savings into a machine that made their owners a fortune - and I'd like to know what a hypercrite is - is it a hypocrite with ADHD?
merv
Guest
Official figure from Cwlth Productivity Commission - see their report after 2 years research and 600 submissions is 40% of revenue comes from problem gamblers, might explain why Clubs Australia never refers to poker machines or gambling in all their commentary and why they are so freaked out when they want to claim only 1% of gamblers are ruining it for the 99% who gamble responsibly. Who is so un-Australian when they so clearly preying on people's misery.
Anfalicious
Guest
I'd be interested to see what percentage of pokies revenue comes from problem gamblers.
Anfalicious
Guest
When pre-recognise knob's have as much sway as Jim Wallace does then one should be wary of them. The point of getting aggro is to offset militaristic nationalism and historical revisionism.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
And as Andrew pointed out earlier, several of the eastern state NRL clubs don't have a leagues club behind them either. That's not really my area, but presuming it's the case, it's an important precedent. Pokies revenue isn't essential. It is easy. That's why they're so determined to defend it.
Anfalicious
Guest
However, I think we can all agree that the ANZACs had hearts the size of Phar Lap's.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
Precisely. It's all the easier when they're not around to actually dispute or confirm the words being put in their mouths. Speaking for someone else is inherently disrespectful. Those who go around invoking Anzacs in every argument should remember that.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
I think "hob-nobbing around Borneo" is a bit of a stretch, Sue. He went on a long, dirty trek along a death-march trail. I've done that trek, and it's a tough gig. In any case, Oakeshott paid for his own trip. He happens to be trekking with a bunch of kids who got some sponsorship from Clubs NSW to help cover their costs. Sometimes The Australian's headlines alone might not give quite the full and nuanced picture of events. That said, you're quite right that there's a big connection between that lobby and some pollies, as there is between many lobbies and many pollies. The retailers association is lobbying against plain packaging, mining against rent taxes, power companies against renewable energy initiatives, and groups like Hillsong and the Christian Brotherhood against the terrible immorality of our time. That's where most political campaign funding comes from.