It’s the royal wedding vs NRL (AAP Image/Action Photographics, Brett Crockford)
It was the worst piece of rugby league coverage I’ve ever seen, and sadly history is set to repeat. The NRL coverage on Nine is to be bumped for a full hour tonight – for you guessed it – William and Kate’s royal wedding. It’s not the first time we’ve been had by the royals.
Let me set the scene. A group of friends are crowded around a television on Sydney’s northern beaches to watch the first weekend of rugby league finals of the 1997.
A few passionate, if not deluded, North Sydney Bears fans have the support of the neutrals against a typically charmless Roosters fan.
The match is a classic and it looks like the Bears are set for victory as they lead 14-2 with just ten minutes to play. But being the Bears, they contrive to allow the Roosters to level the scores as the minutes count down.
The drama doesn’t end there as both teams trade field goals and the scores are locked at 15-all at full time.
The exhausted viewers collapse into the sofa and prepare for what will surely be a gripping extra time period.
“This is what it’s all about” says one fan. “How annoying is that Barbie Girl song by Aqua” muses another while he goes to fridge to grab a few of the day’s beer of choice Carlton Cold.
However just as we settle in for some classic rugby league a voiceover comes on and in announces the final score was Roosters 33 Bears 21 and coverage immediately cuts to the funeral of Princess Diana.
Chaos erupts.
There are howls of protest from the Roosters fan who can’t believe he hasn’t been permitted to see his team win. There is disbelief from the Bears fans who despite their long history of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory are suddenly slapped in the face with a cold fish by the team, and Nine, and told to sod off elsewhere.
Ten minutes ago they couldn’t believe what they were seeing, now they have to believe what they can’t see.
Some of the neutrals are questioning the programmers decision with a subtle “Who f–king cares” in regards to the solemn proceedings now unfolding.
A few others are dismayed to hear she was even dead in the first place (it’s not the sort of thing you read about in the sports pages).
A final wag mused it was all a conspiracy caused by Super League.
In the end though the tribe had spoken. Rugby League fans lost out and royal watchers won.
Now the nightmare is set to repeat.
The royal wedding looks set to descend upon our Friday night viewing time and destroy the routine of many a man and woman who enjoy unwinding and taking in either their first weekend hit of NRL.
It’s like those horror movies where a group of friends survive some axe wielding freak on an island and vow never to speak of it again, only for the same clown to show up 15 years later when they figure it would be a blast if they took their kids on a holiday to the same remote spot.
Well, if you think that sounds gory just imagine the horror of listening to a bunch of royal watchers, monarchists and G-grade celebrities banging on about a royal wedding when all you want to do is watch the footy.
Oh the horror! The horror! Talk about heart of darkness.
There is talk of digital channels coming into play but we can be sure of one thing, it will the good old faithful, reliable suckers that are football fans that suffer while the channels look to see who can cram more royal wedding coverage into the same period of time.
But what will be worse is the fact that despite my rage I’ll know, deep down inside me, the stations were only looking to please this pathetic farce of an island continent.
Because while we all like to carp on about how much we all love sport, put on a royal wedding from a family on the other side of the globe and the television towers will be sucked from the grounds as the lemmings line up for their fill.
Proud independent nation? Ha! The overlords put on a fancy hat, play a tune and we all dance a merry jig like the saps we are.
The station’s can talk about their commitment to sport all they want. I know come Saturday the scoreboard will read: Windsors 2 – Kaless 0.
jeff
Guest
My bet is that Channel None, paid more for the wdding than they paid to own all NRL games for two years. no wonder they gave it preference.. but why not show it as a delayed broadcast in Victoria , Surely they could have found an old Pommie Royalty movie , maybe "Charles does Dallas' to show instead of the 'Live broadcast!!
jeff
Guest
jeff
Guest
Time to start an Oikee fan club.. 'a legend', I vote for him to represent Brisbane on the commish. Roll over gallop, Oikee;'s on his way..... Seiously though -- Q/land and NSW delayed because of the Pommie Sheila's wedding, that's more palatable than Victoria's delayed broadcast because of 'Skippy does Dallas" "Lassie runs away again' and other such tripe that Channel none chose to show on Friday nights... sometimes I just wish for Nine Studios to be demolished during one of these timeslots"and all their AFL crazy directors held to ransom -- with only NRL fans allowed to pay it... -- oops I'm sounding like mini me Oikeee...
jus de couchon
Guest
You had a vote and you chose to keep them. Know Idea why , but you did.
Viscount Crouchback
Guest
Parading one's lack of interest in the Royals is so frightfully tedious.
Andrew Sutherland
Roar Guru
Phil, I'll be at AAMI Park tonight and have a choice of: VB GOLD, VB GOLD and ...VB GOLD - probably the only beer worse than Carlton Cold!
sledgeandhammer
Guest
i watched the wedding and loved it - William is a real man in the armed forces, not a weekend warrior at the footy.
Phil Coorey
Roar Pro
Think it is still around - they kept lowering the alcohol in both of those beers for excise reasons and they became worse and worse. Though they already sucked
Rabbitz
Roar Guru
Well I know that the article is a little tongue in cheek, but as it stands the "Royal Couple" will in time be our Heads of State. For many people (not including me) this rates more highly than sport. Channel Nine really had no option. Given that NRL match times are not decided by Channel Nine until a couple of weeks before, maybe the match should have been played at a different time and date?
CizzyRascal
Roar Guru
Could this not have been sorted by the game actually being shown live all those years ago instead of being delayed coverage?
yewonk
Guest
lets all complain to nine tonight ring them up , ask to speak with the managers
skinner
Guest
I can say I like the royals but it does happen every day, surely we can wait an hour?
Rob McLean
Guest
So are all of us, who CBF with the Royal Wedding (with cheese). Just not the kind of throne were jesters and eunuchs dance around and fawn before you. Although, if you drink enough, you might think you've seen some as you bow before it.
Stanza
Guest
I suppose it could be a good thing for people to go to the league tonight. I will and don't support the broncs or dogs. Anything to get me away from the all night coverage of someone saying i do.
mushi
Guest
As opposed to paying to see 26 guys attack each other in a manner that would have them in prison if done on the streets?
mushi
Guest
You know he's in line for the throne right?
Andrew Sutherland
Roar Guru
Willy, I think Carlton Cold is gone. And thank the Lord for that.
robbo
Guest
Bring back the BEARS, the CENTRAL COAST BEARS!!!
chris petes
Guest
royal wedding > bogan ball ferals
bongwater
Guest
Screw them royal inbreds... Why does ch 9 have 3 cannels ? they are broadcasting the inbreds union on two channels at once .WHY? if we were a republic would this happen?