FC Barcelona have been handed an ultimatum by European football’s governing body, UEFA. Either they agree to field only 10 players in next season’s European Champions League or face disqualification from the competition.
According to information provided by an un-named UEFA source, the shock ultimatum was delivered to FC Barcelona President Sandro Rosell by UEFA President Michel Platini, only hours after Barcelona’s emphatic victory over Manchester United in the UEFA Champions League final.
The ultimatum was the result of a hastily convened meeting deep in the bowels of Wembley Stadium on Saturday night.
Those present at the meeting included Michel Platini, United manager Sir Alex Ferguson and, via Skype, Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho, along with senior UEFA officials.
Both managers used the opportunity to make their case to Mr. Platini.
“Help me, Michel,” Sir Alex exhorted.
“My boys are shattered, absolutely shattered. I have a crisis on my hands. Ryan Giggs has spoken to the boys and they are threatening to place a super injunction which will gag me from naming them on the team sheet if we play Barcelona next season.”
Jose Mourinho, who was instrumental in the sacking of Real Madrid director general Jorge Valdano last week, also asked Mr. Platini to take action.
“Michel, this is becoming a joke. Pep and his team are driving me crazy. I even tried to play rugby against them and they still beat us. Jorge had a bitch about it and I had to get rid of him. There is no point playing football against Barca.”
“Even those spineless monkeys at the BBC are plotting against me. They sent me an email about truth in broadcasting and now they want to change the name of my puppet show from “Special 1 TV” to “Not So Special 1TV”.
“You have to do something, Michel!”
Mr. Platini weighed up the two managers’ pleas.
“Alex, Jose, I understand. No other team in the world would be crazy enough to play Mascherano as a centre back and the last time I saw Abidal was when I visited him in hospital 2 months ago.”
“Barcelona played with 10 and a half men in the final and dominated the game. Unbelievable!”
“Here is my solution. Play against 10-man Barca next season and you might stand a chance.”
UEFA have given FC Barcelona until the end of the week to accept the ultimatum.
In the meantime, Mr. Platini will be attending the farce that is the FIFA presidential election.
Art Sapphire is the pseudonym for Athas Zafiris, and is on Twitter @ArtSapphire
Kenneth
Guest
Well, .... Barca are usually playing against teams that only have 10 men, just ask Arsenal, Chelsea, Madrid, Inter etc. so it is probably only fair that Barca play with 10 men too.
gift
Guest
Hi , i slept well bcoz of your enlightment now am waiting to hear more updates frm u so i can comment.
It's alright, gift. There was no decision by UEFA. There, I have enlightened you. You can sleep well now.
gift
Guest
first of all,is it only barcelona's dominance that prompted uefa's decision or there is something more to it?if it's their good football then i feel the committee is a little bit harsh on them . surely some one can dismantle that team and humiliate it just like it does to others, how i don't knw how team managers do it but they r beatable .arsenal , inter even real madrid demonstrated it . but my worry is , is there more than meets the eyes and ears or what pls someone enlighten me , pls.
angeline
Guest
am very impressed with you barca boys,YOU RULE THE FOOTBALL WORLD,its like man u was competing against the world champions.tough luck to u SIR FERGUSON ,i saw how you shiffered with anger what u need to do is to improve on your talent search skill or RETIRE
andrea
Guest
Very funny article. Barcelona plays such amazing football. Im such an addict I dont know how I am going to survive! Barca are the best,
jamesb
Guest
If Australia wants to learn how to play football, watch a replay of barcelona destroying Man U. Unbelieveable. I only saw the last 4 years of Maradonas career, which by then he was past his best, but Lionel messi is the best player I've ever seen, with Zidane not far behind him. Also in the Barca side Xavi and Iniesta are great to watch. Watching Barca play is mastery at work! Last 5 years, Spain is dominating world football
AL
Guest
I recon I could have played in the Man U midfield and had the same effect as the Man U midfielders 70% possession to Barca says it all.
Al
Guest
Ryan Giggs was considered a clean-cut role model merely a week ago! Regardless, it is a privilege to be able to watch Messi mesmerize opposition defences, his close control, his movement, his skill, his vision. Having said that, the one player whom I could never get tired of watching is Xavi, the real creative force imo, the man is such an intelligent, skillfull footballer, if Messi is the spark then Xavi is the graft, a brilliant footballer in his own right. The most fascinatng part of watching Barcelona however is to not only watch the man with the ball, but to watch the men without the ball, their constant swapping of positions and overall movement as a unit, it is incredibly complex and beautiful all the same.
Dave Edwards
Guest
God Messi is brilliant. The only thing that could stop him now is an off-field scandal of some sorts, but I just don't think the boyish striker has it in him. http://thepublicapology.wordpress.com/
EgoBooster
Guest
Cheer
I've forwarded your suggestion to Mr. Platini, Ben, as a refinement to UEFA's Financial Fair Play Regulations :)
Ben of Phnom Penh
Guest
No, this is just silly. Reducing the amount of men won't work. I suggest that a tried and tested method used in primary schools across the globe be employed; the alternate selection. Both teams put all their starting 11 on the field and then each Team Captain alternates as they select a player. Barca get the first choice as they pay the wages. Puyol: "I select, Messi" Team B Captain: "I select, Xavi" Puyol: "I select Villa" Team B Captain: "I select, Pedro" etc.
Michael
Guest
April 1 was a while ago now! And I think it should be more like 9 men and no keeper.
Fussball ist unser leben
Roar Guru
Art ... I think there needs to be an additional clause added to the request ... "In 2011/12, during UCL matches Barca can only field a team of 10 men AND there must be no GK!"
Ben Carter
Roar Guru
Nice one Art! :-)