Growing up in a rugby union household (and for that matter an almost all-male household), I grew up with an appreciation of the game that I soon realised not many of my female friends shared.
Sure, there was the odd friend in high school or university who I found liked watching as much as I did.
But for the most part, I was all alone in my passion for the game.
I couldn’t seem to understand what the girls didn’t like. Was it a lack of understanding of how it all worked? Was it that their attention spans won’t last for a whole game? Was it the scary-looking forwards with no necks that persuaded them to turn away?
I knew the reasons I liked it.
The strategy. Rugby union is a game of strategy, a game played out with skilful kicks and strategically taken penalty goals. Heavily reliant on clever players like the legendary Stephen Larkham, and much more interesting.
The men. If you can look beyond the forwards (sorry guys) what’s not to like about a team of fit, well-built men running around on a field?
I may be biased but I have always thought union players were the better lookers between codes. George Gregan, Matt Giteau, Rocky Elsom, Jeremy Paul and more recently David Pocock, Will Genia and James O’Connor – need I say more?
The bonding. For me the main reason I have been drawn to the game is the bonding that has occurred with my father in watching it over all these years.
I can remember watching games at home in the lounge room at age 10 with my dad acting as translator for all the different rules.
I remember going to my first Wallabies match with my dad and singing Waltzing Matilda at the top of my lungs.
And I distinctly remember telling my dad (at the tender age of 15) that I thought George Gregan was ‘hot’ – with Dad clearly outlining the significant age-gap that existed between us.
It is this last point that I think is true of most sports. Part of what we love about them is the camaraderie and bonding we achieve in watching and participating in them.
Whether that’s with our parents, our siblings, our mates or even our neighbours.
We all revel in being able to show our passion, support our team and enjoy sport as a community.
With this knowledge in hand, I decided the way to getting my girlfriends on board with rugby, was to position it as a ‘bonding’ experience – a girls night-out if you will.
Gather the girls, bring a bottle of champs and let’s watch the rugby together. I was so animated in suggesting this with my girlfriends that I actually got them excited, all ready to watch.
Then of course, the question of which match to watch came up.
My suggestion: ‘We have to watch Australia, and the match against Ireland should be a good one. Let’s watch that.’
A friend’s response: ‘Doesn’t France play in the Rugby World Cup? You know I love French men. Is France ever playing Argentina? That would be a good game.’
So perhaps it’s not the bonding, it is in fact the men. Either way I’ll be watching every game under the guise of ‘female bonding’ while secretly enjoying watching Will Genia.
My Dad would be proud – at least the age gap is now more appropriate.
Betty B
Guest
Lots of us love rugby, and understand it. Except for the rucks, but then who does understand them.
ThelmaWrites
Guest
My two daughters and I probably bond so well rugby-wise that neighbours want also to bond! One daughter and I got into the lift with a neighbour down the hall. He was Saffa and his wife had just given birth to their second child, another daughter. Probably starved of rugby. When we told him that we had gone to the SFS to watch the Waratahs against the Blues, he said, "Maybe I should come and live with you so that I can have some rugby!"
p.Tah
Guest
Thanks for the article kt. I enjoyed reading it. I'm fortunate to have a few women in my life who love the game for various reasons. It's a great opportunity to bond. Keep spreading the word!!
Warren
Guest
KT - wonderful article, Sixo - great response, I have two beautiful daughters, the eldest an absolute lady at 12 and the youngest a hooligan at 8! Interesting that the eldest is a rugby fan and we are both members here at the Force. She will not miss a game and understands the finer points. It is a privilege to spend time with her doing what we both love.
EvertonAndAustralia
Roar Pro
You forgot to mention Matt Dunning out of the sexy rugby players.
nige imrie
Guest
Absolutely love your article, I am a self professed rugby tragic,played the game, love the game and am blessed with a wife who loves the game, I grew up in Fiji and learnt about rugby over there, my father worked there till th begining of the seventies, we came back to Sydney,Manly to be exact and the love affair with the code continued, now too old and broken to play I am again blessed with Super 15, Trinations, RWC etc but having my life partner also a rugby tragic and a Fijian has made the life journey all the more enjoyable. We are displaying both the Fijian and Wallaby flags on our balcony for the duration of RWC. Again you are a young lady with great taste not only in your men but in the sport you love.
Johan
Guest
Nice article My youngest daughter always hated rugby and cricket. She watched one rugby match with me (after being baited by boys in her class), saw James O'Conner, and she was gone. A friend got a signature from JOC and it had her heart in palpitations. Similar thing happened with cricket December last year. Great to finally share my passion for these 2 sports with her.
Rhino
Guest
Great article KT. One of my best friends is a lady who's rugby knowledge and passion for the game surpasses pretty much anything we mere males can muster up. My 15 year old has started showing an interest. Apparently Digby and JOC are "HOT". I've lost count of the number of times I've taken my wife to Suncorp and then hear her say as we take our seats "Now tell me again who's playing tonight and go get me a wine". The game might be lost on her but at least it's a great social sport and the pre-game and post-game drinks will keep her coming.
Ralph
Guest
There is many a father-daughter relationship made stronger by sport. I have noticed men are better at talking while they are doing something. Walking, doing the dishes, going to the rugby...
B-Rock
Roar Guru
Good article ktdufficy Must say I am very lucky my wife loves rugby almost as much as I do. Now, just need to indoctrinate my daughter (still too young to appreciate TV let alone rugby)
DaniE
Guest
Ummmmm....yessss... I suppose I could.... ?! hehe
Mike
Guest
You could get him an inflatable Richie McCaw, then he could niggle him like Quade as well as kicking like Quade. :)
sixo_clock
Roar Guru
Lovely piece KT, May you have many sons and sons of friends with which to bond. The Rugby world is always seeking leadership and an intelligent, knowlegeable and passionate voice which reflects the female concerns could offer some improvements to the game. Also it may provide a foil for some of the reactionary types who hold back our game to protect their own interests. The Roar is a reasonably gentle place to air your concerns and you can hone your thoughts against some of the brightest Rugby thinkers who prowl and pounce in this forum. Go for it. Cheers.
DaniE
Guest
He sometimes plays with the mini footy we have... pretends to kick like Quade Cooper... but I think saturation rugby is driving him nuts haha
Mals
Guest
DaniE - get the little fella a mini pair of rugby boots and a mini footy that will turn him around ;-)
DaniE
Guest
Loved rugby from the first ever game I watched of the RWC91. During high school a few of my girl friends were also fans, but not to the same extent as I was. Proud to say that the husband who grew up in WA is now a huge rugby fan because of me! Hoping to pass the love down to my toddler son but so far this world cup he is cheesed off that rugby is on the box practically 24/7 and replacing his beloved cartoons. Tough for the little fella.
Cattledog
Roar Guru
Ahh Sheek, I know the feeling. Difference is, I have a son who plays so Mum goes to watch every game but still admits she hates it. The daughter really not all that interested, so know what you mean. Reading some of the other comments here it would appear I missed the opportunity to bond with her early on...suppose having the rugby loving son meant I didn't have to. Anyway, a feast of rugby ATM, much to my wife's chagrin! Although as she knows some of the guys running around at the moment, I have observed she watches more of the Australia games than she used to. Maybe, just maybe......
Tissot Time
Guest
KT, I married a Welsh girl for for rugby pedigree purposes. I am however blessed with two beautiful daughters. The generational passing of the ball has been a partial successful with my eldest understanding the finer points of rugby. My proudest moment was when she was seven years old at Bledisloe Cup match she asked me in the presence of my rugby mates "Daddy why didnt he pass the ball they had the overlap?" Her sister would prefer to go shoe shopping with her mother. I am a lucky man and me and all my girls will all be watching the game together this afternoon. Go the All Blacks.
Mals
Guest
Nice read KT, keep up the good work educating the sisterhood on rugby!! I have a sister who is a huge rugby fan which is terrific, she can also throw a good spiral pass :-D
Brett McKay
Guest
great stuff KT, thoroughly enjoyable. Go forth and bond....