South Africa vs Australia - extraordinary day 2 recap

Australia opened the day eight wickets down, with the 300 that I’d claimed would be enough looking a distant prospect.

But big bad Petey Siddle showed his true Aussie battler qualities; hanging around like a mozzie on a sticky December day.

Sidds left balls, played straight to balls, and patiently resisted his natural tailender instinct throughout his 50 odd ball exhibition.

The first innings total of 284 wasn’t exactly record-breaking, but it was defendable.

It seemed one Mitchell Johnson wanted to prove otherwise, with an unbelievable display of trash for his opening two overs.

Harris got Rudolph cheaply to burst the bubble of hype surrounding that bloke. He played all around a dead straight ball that took the top of off stump clean.

Amongst this fairly innocuous opening was a moment of controversy, in which Siddle overstepped by a larger margin than the distance between B Haddin and T Paine. Spot betting reared it’s ugly head but that was soon forgotten with the play to come.

It wasn’t long before Johnson, looking as disinterested and disorganised as the year seven class clown changed ends, as if the placid half volleys would work better from the Wynberg end.

Shane Watson, obviously there for his tidy medium-fast as well as his forward defence, showed his class and and his over post-lunch was exceptional. Let’s have a look:

13.1 Watson to Amla, no run

13.2 Watson to Amla, OUT, LBW! Umpire gave it not out, but Clarke reviews and LBW is the correct decision. The not-out decision is reversed.

(HM Amla lbw b Watson 3 (31m 16b 0x4 0x6) SR: 18.75)

13.3 Watson to Kallis, no run

13.4 Watson to Kallis, no run

13.5 Watson to Kallis, no run

13.6 Watson to Kallis, OUT, has Watson got another one? Kallis tries to pull a short ball but doesn’t make proper contact, the ball lobs off something and is caught by Ponting second slip. The Australians are convinced it’s off the bat. Kallis is not going anywhere and the umpire Ian Gould says not out. Clarke reviews right away and hot spot shows a massive edge, after which the ball hit the shoulder at went to slip. Kallis has to go. Sensational over for Australia after lunch.

Not finished there, Watto knocked over Smith for an unremarkable 37 followed by Prince, and South Africa were 5/73 with Watson on a hat-trick with 4-11.

Boucher, with green pock marks all over his Gun and Moore bat, lasted momentarily, and in a blur the Saffers were 9 for 83. Clarkey, who had managed his bowlers expertly thus far, brought back Johnson who proceeded to inflate the total a little, with a quick over of his stock standard half volleys, but the damage was done: All out for 96.

Harris and Watson were the destroyers and the South Africans looked decidedly underdone with a majority of their top order severely lacking time in the middle prior to this Test.

If it’s a scant consolation, they batted more than twice as long as the shortest test innings in history – a paltry 63 balls by the men from SA in 1924 – but this probably would not dilute the fact that nine wickets in an hour is deplorable measured on any scale.

After all that the Australians were back in for their second innings, and Watto was on his way back to the sheds in quick time once again. (In fairness it was remarkably another poor decision and an “Enhanced” DRS review would have saved his wicket).

Interestingly, Watson’s underwhelming digs of 3 and 7 means he just needs the three wickets to be only the third opening batsman in history to get more wickets than runs in a test match. I’m sure that was his aim at the outset of the tour.

Moving on, Punter was out falling over his stumps yet again, proving as we said yesterday, that all you need to do is bowl it straight to knock the great man over.

Australia were 2/11, followed by 3/13 to tea. Hughes took his chance after being dropped on nought to progress through to 9.

I honestly believed that tea would see a resumption of normal proceedings and an end to one of the most bizarre, but all the same enthralling, sessions of test cricket I’ve ever witnessed. But alas, within 10 minutes it was 5 for 15 and with Marsh suffering from a back complaint, with Johnson and Haddin at the crease.

If you had to pick a moment from this extraordinary day it would be Haddin’s dismissal, which was close to farcical. At 18 for 5, he advances down the track on the third ball he faced to the challenging Philander, looks to loft him over the covers, and gets a faint touch straight to the welcoming gloves of Boucher.

That shot selection is seriously unfathomable under such circumstances and has no place in test cricket. It is difficult to imagine how he could have walked into his own dressing room. It’s even tougher to think about how he could encourage his paceman from behind the wickets when in the field.

The tail certainly offered little resistance and with Marsh’s back problems the Aussies were 21 for 9 and seriously testing the 26 that stands as the lowest test score in the game’s history. Siddle and Lyon added another 26 for the final wicket in truly comical scenes.

Just between you and me: Australia have now been bowled out for under 100 three times in the last 12 Tests over 16 months. Before that: once in 277 matches over 26 years. Indulge me in one more stat: Nathan Lyon’s 14 is the lowest of the previous 8 occasions in which a number 11 has top scored in an innings.

All four innings in a day? Too easy. South Africa emerged for their second innings.

At this stage 19 wickets had fallen in just over 2 and a half hours and I found myself expecting early wickets straight away.

Apparently Clarkey thought so too, giving bowlers one over spells and showing an impatience, or maybe frustration, that he’ll need to mature out of.

Rudolph was gone early once more and the 236 required seemed a mountainous task. But Amla, more than Smith, proved the treacherous green top playable, steering the hosts to an impressive 81 for 1 at the close.

To solidify the Baggy Greens’ woes, Mr Cricket dropped a regulation chance in the gully on the last ball of the day, ensuring Mr Amla will stride out on day 3 with just 155 more to chase.

Australia have now lost the opening two days in Cape Town and should lose on day 3.

A few notes:

Don’t buy tickets to the 4th or 5th day this summer.

The Watson experiment isn’t really working out – all rounders bat at 6.

Obviously M J Clarke doesn’t trust Lyon – he hasn’t rolled his arm over yet.

Has a final wicket partnership ever doubled a team’s score before?