When Anthony Di Pietro took over as chairman of Melbourne Victory, he was given a lamp. This was no ordinary lamp. It was a magic lamp.
He rubbed the lamp and through the flare smoke a genie appeared dressed in Victory navy blue.
“I am the football genie and you have three wishes. If you use them wisely they will deliver to your club unparalleled A-League glory. Once you have used all your wishes I will resume life as mortal human being. What is you first wish Mr. Di Pietro?”
“Mr. Genie, we have just sacked our long standing manager and are conducting a thorough worldwide search to find his replacement. We have a short list but the board can’t make up their mind. Can you please decide for us?”
“Your wish is my command, Mr. Di Pietro”
Mehmet Durakovic emerged out of the haze dressed in a pin-stripe suit.
“Thank you, Mr. Genie. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I want to make my mark on this club and for that I need a big name player”
“Your wish is my command, Mr. Di Pietro”
Harry Kewell descended from the misty heavens and touched down at Tullamarine Airport.
“You have one wish left Mr. Di Pietro. Now think carefully. What would you like with your final wish?”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Genie, we have got this thing sown up. It is time to get back in your lamp.”
Four weeks ago, a forlorn Anthony Di Pietro rubbed on the lamp for one last time.
“Mr. Genie, things have not gone to plan. We lost the Melbourne derby and struggled to win a game. It was embarrassing. So we sacked Mehmet Durakovic. Can you please help us?”
“Your wish is my command, Mr. Di Pietro”
Northern Irishman Jim Magilton appeared with his magic “Sweatbox”.
“Thank you Mr. Di Pietro, I am now a free man and I have decided, like Craig Foster, to dedicate the remaining years of my life to the most noble practice of all, football punditry.”
Yesterday, on the eve of the Melbourne Derby, Di Pietro caught up with the ex-genie come football pundit for a cup of coffee.
“Things are going from bad to worse, Mr. Genie. We still can’t win a game, our supporters are disillusioned, Harry Kewell is disgusted and Carlos Hernandez refuses to go into the sweatbox. What did I do wrong?”
“Mr. Di Pietro, all you needed to ask me back then with your final wish was for some quick midfielders and a couple of defenders. Just look at what Graham Arnold has achieved at the Mariners with a more balanced squad.”
“Mr. Genie, I am very fearful of tomorrow’s derby. If we lose tomorrow against Melbourne Heart our season is over”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Di Pietro, you will be playing against a club that is flat-lining. They are suffering from one of the biggest New Year’s Eve hangover’s ever recorded and their perma-tanned manager has just announced his departure for milder climes.”
“The team you will meet tomorrow will be different to the one that comprehensively beat you in the ‘Christmas Cracker.’ Madaschi has gone to Korea, Matt Thomspon is injured, Dugandzic and Behich are off with the Olyroos and even more importantly Heart have never won a game without their talismanic captain, Fred.”
“A draw will not help either team. This really is the derby of no return.”
“Mr. Genie, I’m really impressed by your punditry skills. Does this mean we will win tomorrow?”
“I’m afraid not. Because your midfielders keep losing control of the game”
“By the way, I’m sorry about giving you Mr. Magilton and his sweatbox. It was just me playing a practical joke on Robbie Slater and Craig Foster.“
Athas Zafiris is on Twitter @ArtSapphire
Spizza
Guest
Axelv you must apologise The genie got it totally correct Quote "Mr. Genie, I’m really impressed by your punditry skills. Does this mean we will win tomorrow?” “I’m afraid not. Because your midfielders keep losing control of the game” Heart didnt even have its best midfield playing and still the "creative" Brebner and Broxham had no idea and boy do i feel sorry for Harry K having to play with the crap around him and dont even mention "hard-working" Hernandez. He loses the ball and stays fixed to the spot. I have never seen such a non-defensive minded player We know he is a great set piece taker BUT the problem is this isnt the NFL where he can come on and just take the free kicks and then go back for a rest on the bench.
Axelv
Guest
MV fans being masochists describes it perfectly, such is the pain that we experience every week :( , yet for some reason I'm leaving in a few hours and going to the game for more!
Fussball ist unser leben
Roar Guru
There are 2 statistics that sum up MVFC's position this season. 1. We have been leading 12 matches this season and only won 4 of them. 2. We have conceded a goal in the final 9 minutes of games 4 times this season, which means instead of getting 12 points we only got 4 points. All these lost points were the result of school boy defending. We win these 4 games and suddenly we're sitting on 29 pts equal with Brisbane. That's football - you have to play for 90'. I can excuse one episode of "final minute brain fade" but to allow it to happen 4 times and in 2 successive games is ... well, H said it perfectly - it's DISGUSTING. But, like 20k other MVFC masochists I'll be there again tonight hoping this is the week we turn things around. One thing for sure, even if we're 4-0 up with 1 minute to play, I won't be celebrating until the final whistle sounds - as that great US philosopher George W Bush told us "fool me once it's a shame on you; ... but can't get fooled again"! ;-)
Axelv
Guest
Absolute baseless rubbish and scapegoating.
aleagueaddict
Guest
I don't think the Victory will do any good this year or any year while Kevin Muscat is sitting on the bench undermining the senior coach or when he becomes the senior coach himself. Melbourne Victory have created a huge problem for themselves.
Qantas supports Australian Football
Guest
Yes Bondy----I guess so, but what I was trying to say is that my Club (GCU) who sit at the foot of the table can still make the playoffs and win the championship. How amazing is that? My point is that the season is not over yet for any club, and what is happening the tempo has now risen dramatically. Highlighted by Kossie's comment after being defeated last night---he still believes his guys can win the Championship. It's really amazing how this season is panning out with the top half of the comp---(except CCM) looking over their shoulders getting nerves saying their season will be over if they don't win their next game with the bottom half saying they can still win it. Has there ever been a season like it? Watch this: how the SBS crew are viewing this season. http://theworldgame.sbs.com.au/video/2192159425/Shootout
pete4
Guest
It's win or bust here for the Victory. Heart can play with less pressure...
Bondy
Guest
QSAF. If a A League club can win two on the spin then well that shoots them pretty much into second or third place . Is the A League to hard results wise, it's very hard to seize momentum ?
Kazama
Roar Guru
Hahaha, no worries mate.
Thanks Kazama. All fixed. I should get you to sub-ed my pieces. :)
Kazama
Roar Guru
Good read & laugh, as always Art. I think the last line is missing an "on".
Midfielder
Guest
Trouble is Di has been rubbing another thing for too long now ....
Qantas supports Australian Football
Guest
We are now closing in on the real business end of the season and the games are starting to reflect that. So much tension and the football has been great. My club GCU pulled one out of the bag in extra time to keep their mathematical chances alive. Therefore the Melb Vic's and Heart's season are still very much alive even with a defeat tonight---tho a win would reignite their flagging morale. I think it will be Melb Vic tonight to take the points---but then again a draw is more than likely.
Cpaaa
Guest
i think Di Pietro is still rubbing it, after all hes a Melbourne boy.
Bondy
Guest
Enjoyable read Art . Gee it's hard to tip the winner in this one .Will be watching though .