Suarez and Evra face off as Old Trafford turns schoolyard

With dramatic timing worthy of Hollywood, the return of Luis Suarez to the Liverpool starting line-up after an 8-week suspension just had to be against Manchester United, and the man Suarez was suspended for racially abusing.

Even before a ball had been kicked, Suarez and Patrice Evra proved they were happy to add a few more scenes to the blockbuster tale. When the time came to shake hands, with the crowd waiting to see what would transpire, Suarez brazenly passed over Evra’s outstretched mitt.

This induced a strong reaction from the Frenchman, who wasn’t about to let such disrespect from his nemesis pass unchallenged. He grabbed Suarez by the forearm in a forthright fashion.

But with Suarez continuing down the line, Evra was left to throw his arms up in frustration, and received a calming chat from referee Phil Dowd. It was one-nil Suarez and the game had not yet begun.

Rio Ferdinand let his thoughts be known by in turn refusing to shake Suarez’s hand, and the incident, which will no doubt be replayed more often than the goal of the season, set the tone for a fiery Old Trafford encounter.

The match was only moments old when Suarez charged down a through ball only to pull out at the final second, leaving Ferdinand and Evra to collide awkwardly.

It was impossible not to hear the Benny Hill music playing somewhere in the universe as the three antagonists became entangled in a comical fashion.

The first half then finished in a frenzy due to a very timely Ferdinand tackle on Suarez.

The Uruguayan played a cute one-two with Dirk Kuyt, who released his striker into open space, and Suarez, who was first to the ball, slalomed around the outstretched leg of a beaten but hopeful Patrice Evra.

Although he managed to leap the potential roadblock, Suarez was beaten to the ball by a fraction of a second by a briskly moving Ferdinand, who bowled over the protesting striker in his follow through.

The smirk on Rio’s face was pure poetry, as Suarez put his case ostentatiously to the referee, then the linesman, then back to the referee.

They were rightfully unmoved, but Suarez was an extremely unsatisfied Old Trafford customer, and as the whistle blew to end the first half he brazenly booted the ball toward the United bench.

A swarm of players and officials surrounded Suarez, with Manchester United’s winger trying to calm his fiery south American counterpart. But if there was heat going into the locker room, things certainly got a little bit frostier after the break.

Suarez came out for the second half blowing into his hands and shivering at halfway, looking even colder than the reception he was being given by the Old Trafford crowd. Things were soon to get even worse for the men from Anfield.

It wasn’t all handshakes and collisions, as there was a football match on as well. Wayne Rooney put a stop to the pantomime with two quick strikes, and could have easily had a third following a genius dummy by a scheming Paul Scholes.

Kenny Daglish looked to respond by bringing on Craig Bellamy and Andy Carroll, two characters who have been involved in more than their fair share of on- and off-field incidents. But the injection of these two into the game proved as ineffective as the Tory government’s policies on job creation.

Carroll especially was impotent, managing to play a simple pass out of play, get flagged for offside, and display the insolence of a school bully when Dowd whistled a free kick for him clambering over the back of the United defenders.

His reaction, which has become a bit of a staple during his Liverpool goal drought, was a mouthful of aggressive obscenities directed toward the referee that did not require a lip reader. The next time I’m in Liverpool and a nine year old with a ponytail politely inquires what the f***I’m looking at, I’ll be sure to let Andy know what a positive influence he’s having on the community at large.

With United dominating across the park, Suarez was relatively quiet in the second half, but every onlooker knew that sooner or later he would bib up again. Michael Carrick received a yellow card for chopping Suarez down from behind, and from the ensuing free kick, the ball wound up at the striker’s feet. After the simplest of finishes and a celebratory kiss to his right wrist, it was game on.

As the injury time clock kicked down, David de Gea’s finger tips managed to secure Man United’s points for the second time in as many games, and ensure they remain firmly in the hunt for the Premier League title.

But Evra was determined to throw one final cheap shot, and seized his moment as Suarez headed towards the tunnel a very disappointed and heavily bruised man.

The last thing Suarez was expecting was for Evra to pass less than half a metre in front of him, skipping merrily and waving his arms in a manner that would have been better suited to a young pig-tailed girl jumping rope in the schoolyard.

The crowd appreciated the gesture and voiced their support for the Frenchman, but to the disappointment of all, no reaction was induced from Suarez, who continued to the locker room a dejected figure.

Sir Alex Ferguson labelled Suarez’s antics a disgrace, and suggested that he should never again play for Liverpool.

Manchester United will be relieved to have taken the three points, but in a sense this game was an apt reflection of the season, in that it will be remembered more for incidents off the pitch than for the remarkable contest on it.