This afternoon Ian Ferguson and his purple army will be landing on a beach near Gosford, New South Wales. Accompanying him on inflatable dinghies will be his hand-picked squad of professional football mercenaries.
They will be embarking on the first stage of an A-League coup d’etat.
Perth Glory owner Tony Sage has stumped up the cash for a mission that will prove to be more difficult than anything Freddie Forsyth’s Dogs of War ever had to attempt.
A victory tonight over the Central Coast Mariners will provide a beachhead before the final assault next weekend on the seemingly impregnable Brisbane Roar fortress of Suncorp Stadium.
Sage will be, if not confident, at least hopeful that no stone has been left unturned in Ian Ferguson’s meticulous preparations to overthrow Australia’s democratically elected purveyors of good football.
He has expertly assembled a team to win games, not popularity contests.
This is best exemplified by the players he will have at his disposal, including Jacob Burn for close combat, Travis Dodd and Andrezinho for outflanking manoeuvres, Liam Miller for intelligence, Steven McGarry for special operations and Billy Mehmet who looks as if he has just escaped from the French Foreign Legion.
When they get close to their objective, responsibility then falls on their crack shot Shane Smeltz to finish off the job.
They are also expert at psychological operations. A close friend of mine almost jumped into the Yarra and vowed never to watch Glory again when their pragmatic brand of anti-football got the points away to Melbourne Heart this season.
Essentially, Ian Ferguson has succeeded in turning Perth Glory into an effective utilitarian football army: a team stripped of ornamentation and willing to forgo beauty in order to get the right result.
As for tonight’s match, three months ago I wrote “Unfortunately for Arnold I can’t see the Mariners winning the championship, let alone reaching the Grand Final. This time the football gods will take a back seat to football Darwinism.”
“The race to the championship will become a case of survival of the fittest. The Mariners will struggle to adapt to the punishing schedule of mid-week Asian Champions League matches and A-League finals.”
So, according to the script, Perth Glory will grind out a win against the Mariners and progress to the decisive battle against Brisbane Roar.
Watching on from the bench Graham Arnold will be left to lament…
“Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things just don’t seem the same…”
Athas Zafiris is on Twitter @ArtSapphire
josh
Guest
Lighten up, buddy! Utilising a military metaphor is hardly disrespecting our troops. Besides, sport evolved from warfare anyway.
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
"Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that" Bill Shankly Not everyone thinks like you Rabbitz and thankfully not everyone writes according to your world view.
Rabbitz
Roar Guru
Athas, They are stupid games, compared to real life. That is the point. They are merely entertainment, they are not life and death. I follow sports of all types as they are entertainment, I participate in sports as entertainment and diversion from the serious things in life.
Rabbitz
Roar Guru
Titus, Firstly it is not actually a metaphor. It is an allusion. Secondly it is an offensive allusion. Most importantly, I would never (ever under any circumstances) raise a "VB" to the fallen. I am afraid that that particular chemically tainted swill is a blight on society and even the great unwashed should not be subjected to its evils. :)
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
Very clever Ben :)
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
I'm curious Rabbitz. What are you doing on a sporting website if you consider all forms of football stupid?
Titus
Guest
It's a metaphor you goose, and I bet you are the first one to get goose bumps when they play the ANZAC day Rugby League test and raise a VB to the vets.
Ben of Phnom Penh
Guest
"This afternoon Ian Ferguson and his purple army will be landing on a beach near Gosford, New South Wales. Accompanying him on inflatable dinghies will be his hand-picked squad of professional football mercenaries" The Dogs of Roar :D
Rabbitz
Roar Guru
I am sorry, but any journalist who alludes to sports as some form of warfare, and has the gall to compare a footy match (of any code) to a military battle is, in my opinion, completely devoid of morals or respect. It also makes me believe that the journalist is bereft of ideas and creativity. Football (of any code) is, in reality, just a stupid game. A pastime. Warfare is serious and those who serve, those who put their lives on the line, so we have the freedoms we do, should not have their efforts and sacrifices belittled by having these efforts compared to a game, especially a game between over-paid athletes. I really expected better.
Kasey
Guest
A TV show where all the grievances of the football world were aired(even if restricted to justy local matters would take forever to get through. Poor Les Murray would be dead by the time the producer gave the signal to wrap it up. I'm not sure I could sit through an hour of 'negativity' like that would be tbh. I get quite enough negativity from the Olympic keyboard warrior ultras on here and from the Mainstream media in general.
Bludger
Guest
Yeah, the soccer politics in Australia has been fascinating since I can care to remember. Nowadays we have this mining magnates carrying on whilst before it was the local used car dealer, fruit shop owner or delicatessan shop proprietor(Lowy). What I would like to see is a return of 'On the Ball' on Sunday mornings where all grievances in the soccer world were aired. Loved that show.
Kasey
Guest
crowd watcher? or are you expecting some Jets fans to show up to protest Tinkler's disgraceful actions?
daniel
Guest
Aside from that game against the Heart (which I chalk up to the pressure of knock out football), Perth have been quite entertaining to watch this season on the whole. There was debately the gutsiest performance Ive ever seen coming back for a 2-2 draw when down 10 men against the Victory, a great 3-3 game against the Roar, and a couple of goal fests against GCU and again the Victory. Not to mention last week's 3-2 victory over Wellington which saw the lead change three times. I will agree with you on one of your points though - Perth are a hard team to beat. Defensively Fergie has us pressing up early and hard. No opposition player will be given any time on the ball once they cross the half way line. Going forward I'll admit we dont mind the long ball, but it's not a case of not hit and hope either. Players like Dodd, Andre, Billy and McGarry will run into space early for the quick, long pass from Miller or Burns. Once the ball is at our feet near the opposition goals, our short passing game isnt too bad. Just take a look at Howarth's winner from last week...
Bludger
Guest
For me, I am more looking forward to what happens off the park.
pete4
Guest
Yes Perth seems to be one of those sides able to grind out a result when they need to. To me they are much better side when full of intensity. With Smeltz their spearhead, Andrezinho gives them some spark (love the Mehmet Legionnaire comparison) could be enough to see them through The key for the Mariners will key how they handle Perth's direct approach. They are not in Brisbane's mould so I expect tough encounter. For CCM much with depend on their midfield to win them the game. If they can keep Perth up the park for longer periods it will go a long way to winning the game