Unlike you, my fellow football fans and Roar readers, I happened to attend a sneak preview of tomorrow’s A-League Grand Final. Don’t stress. I won’t give it all away.
For those of a nervous disposition then I suggest you look away now and do something useful; like reading the form for today’s tricky Doncaster Handicap and leaving your tip in the comments section.
For those that are still here, I have got good news.
The final will be everything you expect: action packed, full of tension, with unexpected twists and even moments of high farce. Pretty much like the A-League season just past, but in a neater 90 minute format…or is that 120.
The setting is also a familiar one. A vibrant Suncorp Stadium filled with 20,000 Brisbane Roar fans and 30,000 extras who happen to turn up once a year dressed in orange.
The beginning, however, will leave you reeling as pre-match entertainment Brisbane supergroup Custard Regurgitator appear on stage in t-shirts bearing the Football of Australia logo.
Big, bad Clive Palmer strikes again.
But to make matters worse, he gets them to rework the lyrics to Custard’s classic single “Music is Crap”.
“Football is crap, aliens told me so; Better than that, were gonna let you know”
A helicopter then lands on the pitch to rescue the band from the clutches of the FFA.
Meanwhile, in the Perth Glory dressing room, Ian Ferguson is giving his final instructions to his battle hardened warriors.
“OK lads, you know what to do. We all watched the video yesterday. Now remember, we are Chelsea and they are Barcelona. They are going to play us off the park, they will hit the woodwork a couple times, miss some sitters and good ‘ol Danny here will pull off some great saves.
“Jacob all have to do is kick Mitch Nichols off the ball, pass it to wee Liam and he’ll set up Smeltzy for our only shot and the winning goal.”
“We’ll be champions and I’ll be getting a phone call from Roman. Stamford Bridge here I come!”
The two teams take the field, a football match is played and the winner is crowned champion of the A-League.
But who wins and how?
Will it be Brisbane Roar going back to back or Perth Glory winning their third national championship?
As I said before, I don’t want to give it away.
But I will leave you with this.
In the final scene Ange Postecoglou jumps on the podium, grabs the microphone and dedicates a song to his players, his staff and the Brisbane fans.
In his best Frank Sinatra voice and with a tear in his eye he sings ….
“Regrets I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention; I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption; I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway; And more, much more than this, I did it my way.”
Athas Zafiris is on Twitter @ArtSapphire
thinkers
Guest
brisbane lions vs perth glory
oikee
Guest
Good luck roar, been a pleasure watching you guys this year.
AL
Guest
If Brisbane Roar miss golden goal opportunities like they have been doing in the ACL and loss the ball in defence and midfield, then as you say in your artical Perth "Jacob all have to do is kick Mitch Nichols off the ball, pass it to wee Liam and he’ll set up Smeltzy for our only shot and the winning goal.” And that will be that Perth v Brisbane 0.
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
Cpaaa - I avoided the technological aspect as to how I already watched tomorrow's Grand Final as this is a sports website. But I heard New Scientist magazine is interested ;-)
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
Thanks Rabbitz.
Cpaaa
Guest
Not too many people have the NASA technology of viewing sporting events on DVD before the match has even been played. So I am well envious that you have such access, but yet i couldnt help reading into the future. That cheeky Clive still harassing the FFA, good for him, hes so fun the big fello. Though i had chills when Ange sang in front of 50k a sinatra classic. Gonna miss ya heaps Ange. Thanks Art, youve pumped me up early for Orange Sunday.
Rabbitz
Roar Guru
Clever. Well written. :) Good luck to both sides and may football be the winner on the day.