Like dyeing my hair, going to a pilates class, or finishing that renovation on my bathroom, going to a game of netball was something I never thought I would undertake.
But, with the Gold Coast’s footy side having torn out my heart and trampled on it the night before and the ANZ Netball Championship Grand Final re-match in town, I thought an afternoon in the air-con watching the netty might soothe might my fragile sporting spirit.
Sure I’d been ‘around’ netball before. Everyone has, though for me this was mostly limited to waiting around in the car beeping my horn impatiently as my younger sister finished up a game on a dreary June evening.
And I have nothing against women’s sport: my brother in-law living with the goalkeeper of the Australian women’s water polo team had long since quashed any notion of women’s sport being easy. (On cold days, my right shoulder still hurts from where she punched me after I relayed a joke I’d heard that her team should be nicknamed The White Pointers.)
It’s just that like most blokes, netball was never really on my radar. Save the odd PE lesson or work mixed indoor side it was a game played by women, run by women and watched by women. And I was quite happy to leave them to it.
Arriving at the court it was these sentiments that had me feeling a bit uneasy. Even though I was being chaperoned by my better half, I still had the unnerving feeling that my presence at the match would be akin to that of the loser bloke standing outside the women’s fitting rooms at Myer waiting for his partner to hurry up and buy something.
This was not the case however, as I spotted a number of other guys, even some without venue uniforms, milling around outside. I was outnumbered no doubt, despite the presence of the Queensland men’s netball team at the match.
But equally outnumbered was anyone aged over 20. It appeared as if the Firebirds had secured One Direction for the pre-game entertainment, judging by the squealing fans outside the court.
Pushing past the marauding face-painted Bieberarians to my seat, I found things inside to be much more serene, and the crowd a healthy mix of ages.
Seeing the two sides warm up strangely put me at ease, as did spotting one of the few professional netballers I recognised in Liz Ellis on the sideline, and a male ref to yell at.
The game passed off(?) at a frantic pace. There was no settling in period, and as soon as the whistle blew (one of many, many whistles) the players leapt around at a pace difficult to follow. The first quarter whizzed by in a blur of ponytails and long legs, and realising I might be out of my depth I turned to a couple of ladies behind me who had been vocal in the game’s opening.
“It’s all about Aiken and Latu,” a permed woman named Barb assured me, pointing out the Firebirds sleek Jamaican goal shooter and her Fuifui Moi Moi-esque Northern Mystics counterpart. “We shut down their big girl and they’re stuffed.”
After my masterclass I began to settle in to the rhythm of the game, and was struck as to how similar the whole experience was to a day at the footy. All the ingredients were there. The noise. The calls from the crowd. The lunatic fan wearing all the apparel and going berserk, who yes, even at the netball, was a bloke.
Barb’s prediction turned out to be profound, and an injury to the Mystics tattooed enforcer Latu allowed the Firebirds to open up a lead that never closed.
The match’s completion was met with a hearty cheer, and the sound of a few thousand inflatable ‘boom sticks’ being popped by girly grommets.
As a first timer I found the game to be extremely quick, physical enough to keep the football fan inside me satisfied on a Sunday arvo and played in a cheerful atmosphere.
I’d recommend other blokes give it a chance, and I’ll definitely endeavour to take in some professional netty again the future.
For now, though, I should really get cracking on that bathroom.
Follow Chris on Twitter: @Vic_Arious
allblackfan
Guest
Did anyone see the Mystics employ the rugby lineout lift in their upset win over the Vixens? Loved it!! (As did most people who saw it!!)
micka
Guest
A few of the boys and myself often sit around hung over on a sunday and swap a bit of money on the netty. Latu is a jet. Temepara George is also a great Mystics player lots of dash and ponytail. Nothing funnier than a NZer commentator say "let's have a look at the mystics statistics". Get on board gents, its a good sport!
Nathan of Perth
Guest
That said, I do love how you can hear a distinctly different pitch to a netball crowd going off their nut :D
Nathan of Perth
Guest
Great post, Stumpy, fully agree. Personally I think the ANZC has been highlighting the physical aspect of the game - highlights that were played from the last round showed one girl getting a very old fashioned hip and shoulder bump that put paid to her for a while. Elite sport is always dangerous and these athletes aren't out there for kumbayahs.
Nathan of Perth
Guest
Needs some ultras with a few flares and singing :)
The Cattery
Roar Guru
Chris thank goodness you mentioned the long legs. For many years, I thought I was the only bloke who had ever noticed - I kept the secret to myself. But I think the secret is out now. My wife played netball for many, many years, and I would occasionally go out to watch her play, which was always enjoyable, for obvious reasons. Let me tell you folks, in that little netball skirt, I'm not exaggerating when I say that my wife's legs went all the way up to yaahr!! Netball's a great sport, a long tradition in this country and I'd recommend it to all.
ohtani's jacket
Guest
Great post. I always enjoyed playing social netball and never missed a NZ/Australia test match when I lived in NZ.
David of Canberra
Guest
Chris, wait until you watch the Diamonds go against the Silver Ferns - the two best sides in the world slugging it out with power, passion, and plenty of big hits. See if you can track down the World Championships from last year and the Commonwealth Games netball gold medal match. Both decided in extra time. Consider the participation rate of netball in Australia, consider the development programs churning out great players every year, all of them wanting to represent their country - to be an Australian Diamond is to be the best of the best. hope you keep writing more about netball, cheers, David (netball tragic)!
apaway
Guest
But Chris, did you get around to dyeing your hair? Matter of time, mate, matter of time... PS Netball rocks!
La Parisenne
Guest
That's the thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnggggggggggg about netball!
Sharon in tracky pants
Guest
whipped!
Gerry @ YourLawnAndGarden
Guest
Maybe get the boy a skirt and he can join the netball club! Mmmmm...dont think so!
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi Stumpy Stirring words big man, seeing Firebird Laura Geitz go toe to toe with behemoth Cathrine Latu was indeed a thing of bravery-something it sounds like you know all about. All the best CC
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi Gerry, Geez mate, one more kid and you can have your own side-how goods that!?! Cheers CC
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi Dave Up until yesterday I thought I had a pretty good understanding of the game, however turns out things happen a bit quicker at ANZ level as opposed to watching the Mudgeeraba Highlighters go round ha ha. That and the fact that if you just follow the ball you miss all the good hips/bumps/sledging going down under the net. Oh and as for the bathroom, as long as they still have showers down the beach I can't see it being a priority Cheers CC
Stumpy
Roar Rookie
Through my love affair with sport of all kinds I for a period of my life found myself watching, then coaching outdoor and indoor netball. I had suffered a sever leg injury which eventually cost me my leg, and during this time spent many hours watching my wife train and play netball. So being the type that loves to dissect every sport I watch or play it was only natural that I grew to appreciate/love the game. At it's highest level netball is an amazing fast, technical, skillful and extremely physical sport. I ended up coaching Women's, Men's, Mixed netball to the highest level and if you want to see bravery go watch a couple of games at national championships in Open Mixed competition where some 60 kg woman is defending a bloke 200cm plus tall and 110kg plus and getting smashed just in the hope of earning a penalty. I've seen broken bones, dislocations, facial fractures and concussions. Watched in wonder when coaching a teams at state carnival weekends as teams that make the finals play up too 8 full games on a weekend to win a little plaque made of plastic and wood, and see them burst into pure extacy and jubilation upon winning it. These players are as tough and dedicated to their chosen sport as anyone. I admire these players who largely play for nothing other then their love of the sport. I love the tactical difficulties of playing a spacial game on such a small area. Most of all i love it when other people find and relate to this fantastic game
Gerry @ YourLawnAndGarden
Guest
Another Netball dad here, my wife is the School Netball president and we have 5 girls playing Netball each Saturday plus a boy playing rugby (yeh!). Can anyone beat that?
David of Canberra
Guest
Chris, good to see your lack of knowledge didn't prevent you from enjoying the game - there are plenty of netball dads out there who really enjoy netball, like me. I spent most of yesterday watching my youngest girl playing junior representative netball on a cold day in Canberra and it was great fun. Don't worry about the bathroom - watch the netball on the telly when you get the chance or go to more games.