The ARLC is flirting with a disaster of Hunter Mariner proportions as it continues to court the trendy, Aussie Rules spiv Gillon McLachlan for the plum NRL’s CEO role.
Running a wok eye over the shortlist of candidates yesterday I almost choked on my International Roast at the site of the nuffies it contained. Even the Blues selectors never stuffed things up this badly!
Just a bunch of faceless suits without a Test match or ounce of footy smarts between them – what, did someone lose Benny Elias’ phone number?
One name did jump out at me though, Gillon McLachlan. Ahh yes, the feisty young chap who wowed the Footy Show a couple of years back with his unique comic stylings. I liked the cut of his jib.
Alas, the Google machine computed that this was not the case, and that the man in question was actually an AFL man. From down there.
A cold sweat overcame me and I began to tremble all over, like Rod Wishart’s thighs lining up a conversion. But … how could this be? You sold us out! You maniacs! Damn you, damn you all.
Awakening several hours later in front of ‘That’s Rugby League’, completely naked except for a pair of Jonathon Docking shoulder pads and covered in deep heat, I began to take a more philosophical view of the situation.
Hey, maybe this was the future. Maybe this was progress. Maybe Gil would take our game to new heights.
Yes, I would do it. I would support this smooth talking, smartly dressed Southerner for the good of the game.
But first, he was going to need my help.
For you see, the culture of rugby league is as complex as the sport is simple.
The game does not welcome, or particularly like, outsiders. It is the chunky kid who gives you a Chinese burn and throws your bag on top of the science block on your first day of school. Sure, a couple of weeks later it will slap you on the back, tell you it was “only joking” then ask if you want to go whip rocks at a wasps nest, but still it can be bloody slow to warm.
McLachlan’s best bet is to silently assimilate. This may be difficult seeing as he would have been flat out seeing a game on telly in Melbourne, but can be done.
Firstly, the polo playing. News flash Gill, Kerry Packer is brown bread so there’s no use trying to suck up to him. Even experienced coaches can only just get away with a polo shirt, and Robbie Kearns is living testament to what can go wrong when footy people play with the horsies. Just stick a fiver on them like everyone else.
Next thing, don’t question anything. Yes we know scrums are crap. No we don’t know why Canberra have an away jersey. An obstruction is when… look just sit there and laugh at Beau Ryan’s wig, ok? If the game wanted new ideas it would be called Super League.
Speaking of the war, you’re going to have to be able to bluff your way through some general rugby league knowledge. I’ve found that the terms Andrew Johns, Sydney, big hits, 1989 and passion will cover you for most of the curly ones, or alternatively the papers will just make something up themselves in your absence.
And finally be aware that rugby league is a man’s game played by hard men. And kids. And some women. You will be tested, put under the pump, required to give 110% and take your hats off to the boys in this role.
I’m ready when you are Gill, so toughen up princess and let’s get that jersey dirty.
Or, would you prefer I just gave Benny Elias a call?
Follow Chris on Twitter: @Vic_Arious
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
Johnno .It ain't over yet and the Fat lady has not sung.Internet and mobile rights and Sky NZ to come. The soul that we supposedly sold came with a few plusses,20 weeks schedule fixed ,not the case before(5 weeks),the removal of the first and last rights clause,the ability to stream not available before here but only overseas and money to spend on grassroots in the bush and locally,even in AFL heartland. I detect a touch of nose out of joint,the code achieved the $1bn minimum,which you and the other flag waving mob stated wouldn't happen.Egg on face. AFL is just as popular in SE Qld.LOL.Straight out og big Footsy.30 years of AFL in sydney and plenty of FTA exposure and the code barely draws breath on FTA in Sydney.Keep stirring ,if it makes you happy. The grassroots from comments i have been reading are morethan happy.
Johno
Guest
Well, he's knocked it back... good... don't want AFL minds helping the NRL... Great you got a billion dollars plus in TV rights... unfortunately you had to sell your free to air soul for it (unlike the AFL did for their billion plus dollars)... AFL is all over free to air in QLD/NSW next year... suck it... NRL near sightedness at it's best... Those without foxtel will have live AFL at their disposal but ONE live game of NRL a week... hahahaha.... NRL looking after it's grass roots... lol! You are making it easy for the AFL to grow in these markets (Especially Western Sydney)... AFL already just as popular in SE QLD... Only going to grow... Foxtel are happy though... The NRL is now officially their bitch
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
The beauty of the code ,is it has no problems pulling itself apart critically ,whether constructively or for media sake. Alternatively,Gil could do what Vlad has successfully achieved in Vic with a complying media hanging on to his every word of wisdom ,as if it were holy writ.Rarely daring to question decisions. He may indeed find it unique ,that the code is not run like a dictatorship. I would be interested to know who within the code, who delivers homophobic and racially mtoivated attacks against the AFL.Or is it a case of using that uncalled for comment, as an excuse for stupidity from some rl supporters, which can be levelled BTW at some AFL supporters.
millane
Guest
would be funny if mclachlan did get the job... dare say one of his first priorities will be to weed out and marginalise the 'alan jones and andrew bolt' types within rugby league who deliver what can only be described as homophobic and racially motivated attacks against the game and fans of AFL it is after all part of the great AFL conspiracy - that is to do your code over from within... :)
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
As soon as you indirectly implied you were impartial ,you lost me.LOL.The ground has historical significance for the code,end of story.. And they still quoted fudged figures LOL and were caught out.The post code excuse is up there with the best. , Please don't blame poor old Fairfax the Courier Mail and GC Bulletin have AFL editors ,who give your code far more exposure than is warranted or at least out of proportion.Life goes on. The same GC Bulletin who would not sponsor the Titans ,as they considered it a conflict of interest and now sponsor the Suns.One of the best comedy routines foistered on an unsuspecting public. Think you had better look at junior sport originally played in that particular area(Blacktown) for starters.Sports plural, who were turfed off. The club that sucked in the Blactown Mayor since deposed,now uses the Showground as its home base and players live in Breakfast Point.Blackotwn not good enough LOL?.Lip service indeed .Or as they say ,come in spinner. Paranoia sure sure . I suggest one looks at AFL posters on what the NRL will receive in the Tv deal,and now it achieved $1bn plus,they are going into a lather.It features here and on that dirge Big Footsy.The playing it down,the looking for negatives.Its more funny ,than embarrassing. The fact the competition now has cash to play with,has twisted some noses out of joint. When the storm were caught out salary cap cheating the AFL media and commentators went into a paranoid of feedy frenzy.Buy the top NRL players,drown them whilst they are down,we should take advantage of their problems. How bleeding hospitable of them. Paranoia and reaction. BTW I have no hate for any code, just distrust and dislike for administrators and commentators and indeed some journos.But I will defend a code I converted to years ago,either by attack from within or without.Its the nature of the devil.
JVGO
Guest
And the A's rip the Red Sox 20-2 in Oakland today. WTF.
Brewski
Guest
@ CC, OK i am going to again explain, not for your benifit actually, but for anyone with any sort of impartial mind. At no stage did the AFL apply to use Birchgrove Oval, although Australian football was being played on the ground up to 5 years before the first RL historic game there, so the sacred turf argument is a bit ironic, they applied for Callan Park, and this fact is verified by the council. The initial figures the AFL gave were based on a informal EOI, and all clubs figures from soccer to RL to baseball were impacted and downgraded for the formal EOI. The Sydney AFL actually do not have a club playing within the Leichardt shire, so the figures they used were people living within the shire, but not playing there, so they used auskick, auskickers that payed and played, but not within a club, so for the formal EOI these auskickers were not used. The Balmain Dockers AF club play and train out of the shire. The whole idea of getting Callan Park was to build a junior club, using the after school auskickers etc as the base. It was the council that recoomended Birchgrove because they could not fit both baseball and AFL at Glover street, ... see below. http://www.leichhardt.nsw.gov.au/IgnitionSuite/uploads/docs/item15-jun2012-ord.pdf http://www.leichhardt.nsw.gov.au/IgnitionSuite/uploads/docs/item12b-jul2012-ord.pdf To once again prove RL paranoia, the only comment that the local junior RL club at Birchgrove made in the ENVIRONMENTAL AND COMMUNITY MANAGEMENT REPORT was for the AFL to go elsewhere .....LOL, when in fact the AFL never asked to go there in the first place. AFL was being considered to be played due to a Sports and Recreation policy aimed at diversifying the sports played as well as the fact that there was no ground for them within Balmain. This saga received far and away more publicity than what it deserved, and we have Glen Burge high ranking faifax exec, who runs editorial content across the eastern states, and in particular the SMH, and is also a high ranking official for the Balmain soccer club, and have a guess where all the stories came from, and have a guess who got fed all the info on this saga .....RL journos at the SMH. They completely ran with this story, they were completely sucked in by Burge, his soccer club, and the anger, hate and paranoia that they have for AF. What sports club was throiwn out for the AFL in Blacktown, and if there was one, which there wasn't, surely cricket which shares the ground 6 monthly and contributed money must be held responsible as well ...... LOL.
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
Funny every man and his dog suggested they inflated the figures,then they backtracked and stated,oh we thought you were talkingpostcodes LOL..Talk about them looking for an escape route.Never inquired about Brichgrove ,pull the other one. The local soccer club were the ones to be shafted for starters,so they had every right to be cheesed off. Perhaps you can start with blacktown,where the local sporting tenants were turfed off the field,to make way for the new facility for the GWS team.Called GWS yet domiciled in Breakfast Point,smack in the face for the Blackpown people,because they set themselves up at the Showground,nowhere near Greater Western Sydney .Secured nice govt funding at both places and Blacktown really an afterthought. The Canberra Raiders have been involved in the Wagga area before even GWS was an embryo.Theclub has had trials and pre season games there and involved themselves in grassroots work,asking for nought.They are to be commended.Indeed understand where they sit now.Rugby league did not seek Wagga council funding,they saw their work as a community service. The same wagga council struggling for funding after the recent floods LOL. GWS is not domiciled in Canberra.They play a few games there and tootle off back to Sydney ,to beautiful Breakfast Point.IOW lip service to the Canberra community and the ACT govt fell for it.The Raiders play 12 games there,bringing in visitors and providing services for the local community.The sponsorship pro rata is far less than GWS. Cut the pomposity one of the wealthiest clubs in the AFL,Collingwood has poker machines and fleeces the poor old .and they are not the only ones. RL does not go about other states and take over grounds,by putting up posts ,that are rarely used.
Brewski
Guest
@ Sean ..... no they did not inflate their figures, but i see your using that as an excuse to have a go, rather than the initial hysteria about the Sydney AFL 'attempting to steal Birchgrove'. LOL. RL in their hysteria actually lost out on more time at Birchgrove to soccer, the joke is completely on RL, and the Sydney AFL got what they requested, which was to use another ground for their activities, the local soccer club played the RL hysteria card beautifully. LOL The council in their blueprint stated quite clearly that the local AFL never inquired about Birchgrove Oval. The Canberra Raiders have whinged and whined about GWS since day dot, and FWIW they get good deals from the ACT government in the form of stadium rental and sponsorship, whilst at the same time fleecing $50 million from pensioners in the 7 poker machine palaces. Rather than spending that money back in the ACT, they send it out of town buying property all over the place, yet have the gall to bleat that GWS does not spend its sponsorship in Canberra. Gallop rides into Wagga, and the RL media is up in arms, because GWS gets a sponsorship from the Wagga council, but as it turns out, no-one form RL had approached the council to seek funding, and the council had not heard from RL since the Leagues Club in Wagga closed. LOL Re-actionary and paranoid.
sean maguire
Guest
Soccer was upset about Birchgrove because AFLNSW grossly inflated their participation figures, Canberra had a trial in Wagga at the start of the year and the council barely funded it so of course Gallop talked to them, Gould has set up a playmakers academy out west and is getting on with improving league not moaning about GWS. You can put whatever spin you want on it but GWS has actually made the ARL pay more attention to Western Sydney so it really is a good thing as far as I'm and I'm sure most league fans are concerned.
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
Then Brewski, you are walking around blindfolded.I have read and heard enough of it to last a lifetime.The Etihad /WC for soccer was a classic example.Big Footy is a perfect example of what I mean,and you deflect that view. I suggest if the code(rl) had poached two topline players to use in new expansion teams in non heartland areas,it would be all hearty friend well met.And I am an astronaut. Don't bring up Birchgrove,the playing figures were shown to be a fraud.It has code specific historial significance. Maybe you should spend a little time reading or listening to the likes of C.Wilson,Healey,Voss,Cassidy,Cordy ,Brereton of late,and it may sink in.Although I doubt it. Well my friend ,your code has not been in a similar position to Birchgrove/Wagga/Wesrt Sydney,so you are really only surmising.
Brewski
Guest
@ CC, no, we are not in agreeance at all about the level of angst and paranoia between Australian Football and Rugby league, the continuing level of anger, paranoia from RL in this country towards Australian football in this country far outstrips the anger in return. Should the 2IC at the AFL go to the NRL, ...... well, thats life, and the AFL and its fans will get on with it, we will not be carrying on like RL did at Birchgrove Oval, or Gallop did at Wagga, or Gould has done in WS, or the Raiders did in Canberra regarding GWS and so on, and so on, and so on. Its quite a laugh really, LOL. @ Millane .... spot on.
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
So we are in agreeance,paranoia exists on both sides of the sporting equation and indeed all society in various guises.and unfortunately that includes Vic and the other states. Neither backyard is anything to write home about.
NF
Guest
milllane The bigfooty site ain't exactly the shining light of enlightenment either both code supporters had there fair share of threads on each other codes.
millane
Guest
and the league unlimited website is a scary reflection on the anger and bile that currently permeates nsw and qld society
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
And the award in 1995 you mentioned was well publicised. All codes are eager to get one up.It's called competition.eg we have $200m to spend over 10 years,we are the biggest national code,we have the biggest crowds,the best Tv ratings,the largest number of juniors,world games,international etc.. The award won by the NRL received little publicity.whether by design or not as Matt_S has illuminated. Get in the real world.The fact many AFL fans at times post on rl threads,to push an agenda, is indicative of one upmanship.the Big Footy site is a classic example.
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
For starters he hasn't gone yet.Secondly he will hardly be used as a promotional tool, for expansion in heartland areas of the AF,with one sole purpose to get rl fans to follw the code and grassoots kids.With respect its comparing apples with cheese. Then get the likes of a Brereton,comment that rl is in danger because the AFL has tens of millions to spend in Western Sydney.. The average rl follower is concerned about the performance of his club,seeing top line plyers and administrators are well down the pecking order. I repeat take star players and push them in front of a camera ,to sell their new code,is a world of a difference.Gallop going to the FFA(and there were many within tehecode who actually liked his worK) has not created ripples.And soccer participation levels are far greater than rl. You and Brewski have short memories on the subject of paranoia.The Soccer world cup bidding and Melbourne's Etihad stadium usage.Many of the commnets on this board ATT showed unbelievable paranoia.
JVGO
Guest
The Billy Beane moneyball .story is a similar failed pro story also. This season he has again manouvred an Athletics list that was supposed to be the worst in the majors to the 3rd best record in the AL. Genius.He continually develops young talented pitchers in his pitchers heaven of a ballpark so they have great statistics and trades them for ridiculously high value. Everyone then wonders why the prodigies can't reproduce their amazing statistics in parks other then the Coliseum, even the prodogies themselves as their confidence spirals downwards. Barry Zito over and over again.
Brewski
Guest
@ whoever is talking about awards from the United Nations, the AFL won one in 1995, and if memory serves me right, won the same one the year before the NRL last year. You guys are so eager to get one up it's embarrassing, but keep it going ... LOL
Von Neumann
Roar Guru
Interesting article. Thankyou for writting this, it was well written. Once again, I have a little trouble with the concept that its somehow Taboo, or evil, or wrong, or amoral, or silly, to seek this man for a CEO's role. I think to address the majority of peoples concerns I would say "The game is changing, and we need to reflect that where required in our choices, and in other cases we have a chance to shape and drive that change....to be reflected in our choices as well. Thats where Gillon comes in." Guys, relax. He would do a good job. All the credentials are there.....and the all important enthusiasm. You won't get nothing done without enthusiasm....and sure, he may not be a highly passionate individual when it comes to league - but don't doubt this man's enthusiasm. I doubt he is like many of you (or some) - wants to get drunk on weekends, smokes, pokies, sportstab, buys a big screen tv when he can least afford it, still going through uni, balancing finances.... he looks like he has his S together. I doubt many of us can grasp that he would be well suited to the job, and would be an asset to the management team.