The universe works in mysterious and often ironic ways. Just ask Quade Cooper or his agent Khoder Nasser.
On Wednesday, ‘Quadey’ will be dragged before the ARU to explain his moronic twitburst last month where he described the atmosphere within the Wallabies camp as ‘toxic’.
That the culture and setup was ‘destroying’ him as a player and a person, and that if he was invited to play for the Wallabies at the moment, he would likely refuse.
Perhaps he (or they) thought at the time that his manna was powerful enough to get away with it; that the Wallabies needed him more than he needed them.
But quite a lot of rugby water has flowed under the bridge since then, not least two vitally important Test matches against Argentina and the All Blacks. Guess what – they did not need him at all.
Isn’t that funny!
By holding their fire for the six weeks since his tweeting, the ARU has effectively snookered Cooper and his agent. If I were the ARU I would withdraw all previous offers and replace them with a lovely new one… at half the fee last offered. By accepting it, at least he will get to play for the Reds this coming season and possibly rebuild his wilted little mojo.
Personally, I do not give a rat’s patooty whether Cooper ever plays for Australia again, although I do feel vaguely sorry for him. He became a player whose ego ate him and there was no one there, an authority figure, to stop it.
But it happens, doesn’t it – too much good news and then along comes the universe with great big fly swat. We have seen it not only with Cooper but also with James O’Connor uttering his precious ‘brand’ comments before suffering, of all things, a lacerated liver.
Back to ‘Quadey’. You want to say to him:
“You have bitten the hand that has fed you well. Both the ARU and the Queensland Rugby Union stuck by you through troubled times and offered you a chance of redemption instead of letting you go.
“You have been disloyal to coach Robbie Deans, a decent, decent man who showed his faith in you at the risk to his own reputation, his job in fact.
“In any sense you have betrayed him.
“Betrayed, big word that, possibly too big for you. It means to be false or disloyal, if that helps. It is not commonly associated with the game of rugby union, unless someone like you comes along.
“Surely it is bad enough being despised in your homeland of New Zealand but you have now invited the same from Australian rugby fans.
“Oh, and you would like to play league with Sonny Bill Williams, would you? As a player you could not hold a candle to him because you hardly tackle – he does.
“Yes, I can see the attraction of SBW – if he lets you leech off his talents he would make you look like a better player than you actually are.
“I am not sure he needs you in his team. Tackling is a must to be successful in league and to tackle you need courage (guts, Quade) and I am entirely unconvinced you have any (guts, Quade).
“You come from the small, hard New Zealand timber town of Tokoroa where some call you a turncoat and worse, a traitor – and an a-hole. I had thought that unfair, downright mean in fact. I had some sympathy for you at the time but that has now dissipated, given your treacherous attitude to the ARU and Robbie Deans – appalling.
“But the reality is we have a scowling, mean-faced, self-serious, selfish, somewhat unbright, uppity young man boasting one arm that looks like it is covered with a snakeskin graft (supporting Spiro Zavos’ theory that more tattoos indicate less brains) and who seems to think the rugby union world should be kowtowing at his big feet.
“I have held back from writing this for quite some time. But you have finally and inevitably crossed the Rubicon (look it up Quade). I, like many rugby fans, am lost to you forever.
“Go away – like bugger off. Really. Please.”
AussieBokkie
Roar Rookie
Quadey would attract the hotties for us but that's about all he could bring to the table! ha
Eljay
Guest
SafaRugby: I refer to him as 'dear editor' because he bravely published the post - I didn't think he would having already rejected an earlier version of it. Perhaps my mana has increased in the past couple of weeks! A beer would be fine; maybe Quadey could join us?
AussieBokkie
Roar Rookie
was just wondering what you meant by it, but i now understand - your editor owes you a beer! :)
Eljay
Guest
How funny, you talking about cheap shots! The one you put on McCaw was the cheapest I have ever seen. Love to meet though. Let's bond, get drunk and go off and burgle another Gold Coast apartment together, shall we?
Eljay
Guest
SafaRugby: In the original submission I used the word 'mana', a Maori word that mean a person or organization of people of great personal prestige and character. My dear editor has changed it to 'manna' as is manna from Heaven.
AussieBokkie
Roar Rookie
"...that his manna is powerful enough" - manna?
AussieKiwi
Guest
Dear Eljay Thank you for your measured, balanced and well informed critique of my activities. As you are so keen to say so many things to me, perhaps you would like to do so face to face, man to man? No I didn't think so. But please do carry on taking cheap shots from behind the cloak of anonimity. By the way, perhaps you should look up the word "ironic". it is apparent from the first sentence of your 'article' that you do not understand what it means. Best wishes 'Quadey'
Eljay
Guest
Rae1 - I would never mock the Maori culture. Having been exposed to it since my earliest years, I actually have a profound respect and appreciation of it. Some 50% of my primary schoolmates were full blood Maori. Even though I am pakeha, the Maori culture is very much part of what I am. The rebirth of Maoritanga in New Zealand in recent years has been brilliant. Please do not presume anything like that of me again.
Post
Guest
Seriously, are you still in high school? Making fun of people's hair, tattoos, and calling them stupid doesn't sound very adult to me. Or maybe I'm just being a doo-doo head.
aussie sports lover
Guest
But you gotta agree that Gregan's sledge has to be one of the, if not the best rugby sledge in history. Three words was all it took to break NZ's heart at that time.
aussie sports lover
Guest
Hate to say it, Garth, but you guys were right. Damn it! LOL... Is it too late to send him back to NZ?
garth
Guest
Quade Cooper, by his actions & words, has made himself a target of ridicule, regardless of his personal bodyart. I agree that denigrating someone on the basis of how many tattoos they have is foolish. However tattoos, whether "ta moko" or not, always have huge significance to the people who have them. Ethnicity has nothing to do with it.
garth
Guest
Personally, I thought George got his when Jonny kicked that last minute goal a week later.
garth
Guest
Well, we did warn you (all that booing etc.) that Cooper was an a***hole. And the Wallabies on-field reaction to his ranting shows that they now know this too.
rae1
Guest
Ta moko is a Maori traditional art form which is still practiced today by both female and male. There are strict protocols a tattooist must follow before, during and after the tattoo. The person who is to be tattooed will usually seek permission from family elders prior to having the work done as the individual will have permanent representations of people, places, possible historical events etc that are not only his/hers. The individual must be deemed 'worthy'. For most recipients of ta moko the experience is highly spiritual. While I know you are mocking me and by extension the Maori culture (and any other indigenous culture), I strongly suggest you google the subject. Its quite hard to explain, in short, such a complex art form to a person who doesn't give a toss.
Eljay
Guest
If Cooper was that serious about his Maori heritage, why doesn't he get his face tattooed to match his arm - like Tame Iti of the Urewera Four has done?
Eljay
Guest
Rae1 - in short, please translate Quade's arm for Roar readers and me.
Eljay
Guest
Rae1 - fair enough if that's what they are. But do tell me exactly what QC's tattoos represent; I would love to know. Do they tell of his lineage, personal and tribal history all on one arm?
Kane
Guest
I'm not saying he is responsible for all those wins, but a 1st 5/8 generally has a lot of input into the games final result. Is it a coincident that they lost all those other times without him
yahyah
Guest
how was cooper responsible for those wins? could it not be just coincidence that he was on the field?