Is David Smith NRL's James Bond?

So the shoulder charge has been banned, Sunday arvos at Leichardt are on the scrap heap and we’ve got a Welsh bloke who isn’t Jonathan Davies running the show.

Somebody call Dr Peponis because I think I’m in need of a cognition test, stat!

After the most low-key arrival in rugby league since the Hunter Mariners, new NRL CEO David Smith this week begins putting his undies into drawers at rugby league house, before brushing his Barry Beath and jumping into a bed the TV networks ARLC rule makers have so kindly prepared for him.

And while he’s probably just keen to sleep off a bit of jet lag after six months on a plane, even with his new bed’s uneven surface, abrasive prima-doona and an alarm set season-long for 3AM on a Sunday morning, unfortunately first Smith’s going to have to answer the tough questions.

Like, who the exactly are you?

I mean that in the nicest possible way, not having a dig. When I first heard the announcement I was concerned that the lengthy CEO search had netted the former Newcastle player as a favour to Andrew Johns.

But no, the ARLC has gone outside the leagues club foyer to find their man, and now I can see what took them so long – the man is a ghost. Talk about living off the grid. Smith makes John Connor look like Lady Gaga in the exposure stakes.

Even the old Google machine didn’t help to paint a clear picture. Sure there are a few vague things about the army, banks and corporations no one has really ever heard of, which in the world of rugby league normally sets off Radisson Maine style alarm bells.

But I for one am not worried. I’m actually quietly confident.

Because I have a theory.

Let’s look at what we know about Smith.
Military background? Check
Globetrotter? Check
Sharply dressed? Check
Funny accent? Check
Purposefully vague resume? Check
Holy crap, the ARLC has just appointed James Bond as NRL CEO!

It all makes sense now. ‘David’ isn’t his name, it’s a code, like ‘00′. Think ‘David’ Gallop. ‘David’ Moffett.

Running rugby league in Australia has long been regarded as one of the most difficult jobs in the country, and it appears as though during the Super League (Cold?) war, ‘Arko’ and Cannon put into place an elaborative secretive framework to ensure the game’s survival.

Smith isn’t running the show at all, he’s just the agent in the field ready to mop up everybody’s mess and to pull the trigger when needed.

Every so often he’ll get a new assignment from John Grant (M?) and a couple of high tech gadgets like ‘Spidercam’ from David Gyngell (Q?) before racing off to save the world… or at least make sure the Sharks players stay out of Northies.

The shoulder charge and stadium announcements have been nothing more than pre-prepared pressers to throw fans off the scent, similar to South Sydney’s reinstatement the year Gallop took the top job.

All of which I believe bodes well for the game in the long run. Sure it appears as though, like Gallop before him, Smith is likely to keep his cards close to his chest and make a few decisions that will leave the punters shaken, if not stirred.

But hey, if the fate of the world at large (you know, footy) depends on it, then I trust double 0 David to do his main duty.

Giving our game its licence to thrill.

Follow Chris on Twitter @Vic_Arious