Sitting peacefully atop the NRL management pyramid, connected to his apprentice CEOs with a mixture of dotted and solid reporting lines, the ‘real’ CEO David Smith today unveiled a step-up in the war on drugs.
Gone are the days of unexplained steroid-induced acne outbreaks. Today’s versions are of the far more sophisticated, underhanded variety, and harder to detect than a sense of humour on Darius Boyd.
The NRL has been driven to this decision by the continuing ASADA investigation, so you can perhaps call it both reactive and proactive at the same time, depending on which side of the marketing and commentariat divide you sit.
In the NRL, an anti-doping probe could mean anything, but the thrust of the latest announcement includes:
– Introducing ABPs, or Athlete Biological Passports to be administered by ASADA, and processed by WADA – these are designed to record any changes in your blood over time, and detect the past use of performance-enhancers. These biological markers are not intended as paternity tests for young players, as far as I can tell, or related to inter-Shire travel.
– Increased testing for cologne, in which case, it occurs to me, Robbie Farah and Beau Ryan are in serious trouble. Or maybe it’s simply testing for peptides and sending the results to Cologne. Either way, it spells trouble for peptide-users and wearers of excessive cologne.
– Sending test samples for human growth hormone to London to take advantage of cutting edge technology. Like Ford motor cars, everything seems to be outsourced these days.
– Eliminating all referees immediately ( I could have made that up, but their ability to pass an anti-doping test is questionable)
The new measures have been cheered by most organisations with an ‘R’, including the NRL, NRL Clubs, RLPA, RSL and RSPCA, not to mention A(R)SADA who have RSVP’d their approval.
In other breaking NRL news, Nick Weeks has been appointed NRL General Manager of Integrity and General Counsel and Winner of Longest Title in the NRL, and Mr Julian O’Neill has been appointed Head of Atrocities.
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
Wade Graham was a decent player at Penrith before he came to the Sharks.Amazing in 2011 ,the year of the allegations,the Sharks finsihed (13th öminous") on 18 points.They must have been on performance reducing drugs. Your last line Silver is an outrageous comment to make,care to prove or elaborate,or forever hold your peace.
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
So that's why Wade Graham has improved so much over the last year or so. Very suspicious indeed. The league is full of Rodney Howes nowadays
solly
Guest
”yep you have the right to silence but if you exercise that right we will remove your right to play in the NRL, you can go and play somewhere else ” A nice way to deny a nationally recognised common law right... The quicker people stop turning the issue of drugs in sport into a crime against humanity the better.
Josh
Guest
Now all we need is players to come out and say anyone who took drugs should be suspended and kicked out of the game even if they are a mate. Also the NRL needs to get tough on sharks players and say " yep you have the right to silence but if you exercise that right we will remove your right to play in the NRL, you can go and play somewhere else " see how cool Wade Graham thinks he is then