With just over a week before the crucial second Origin match, things had begun to look grim for Queensland. Then in stepped big Mal.
Or, to be more precise, around stepped Meninga.
Yes, for while the story of the big man heroically fending his way through an army of highly-trained security personnel, before sidestepping the tea-towel wielding Duty Manager at the Down Under Bar to secure precious liquid for his parched troops is being hosed down as we speak by the Maroons’ media minions as a minor misunderstanding, one should not underestimate the enormity of Meninga’s actions.
Let’s think about it.
It’s just over a week before the most important match of Mal’s tenure at the Maroons, and all you’ve heard about is the Blues.
They’re living large, partying like 17 drunken Gallagher brothers and bringing in ageing crowd favourites just to stand on the wing for a laugh they’re so confident.
Well hang on a bloody minute… What about Queensland!
One win and the show ponies from down south are hogging the headlines and at the same time scoring a clear mental advantage by showing they’re the new ‘bad boys’ to create a faux siege mentality at their fortified five star hotel buffet.
With the Queensland selectors failing to rouse the public’s imagination with the dropping of two loyal players and selection of a third superstar halfback just to brag, the battle of the pre-match mind games seemed a foregone conclusion.
But then cometh the moment, cometh the Mal.
Sensing the gravity of the situation, Meninga once again steeled himself, had once last juicy fresh mandarin, and took it upon himself to lead his side to glory.
Yes, just like he did in the dying moments of the second Test at Old Trafford on the 1990 Kangaroo tour, Mal bumped his way to the promised land to alter the course of a series.
Straight away you can imagine the mood in camp Maroon changing.
Every press conference for the upcoming week has suddenly switched from boring QandA about Daly Cherry Evans’ purebred Labradoddle to queries about Mal’s bar shenanigans.
Has he set a bad example for the side? Is he actually a coaching puppet for Mark Murray? And is it true he used imported fruit in his crème de bananes mixture during his time behind said bar?
You can imagine the players getting more and more irate and protective of their father figure coach with the ensuing media circus.
Suddenly it’s once more the Toads against the world, the Maroons have the magical chip back on their shoulder and are ready to bite their own hand off for a shot at the Blues.
Corey Parker swaps the grey banker look for a flaming red Mohawk, the hotel housekeeping team is too scared to wheel its trolley past Josh Papalii’s room for fear of it being tackled out a four storey window and if Darius Boyd spoke in more than just a series of grunts and honks he’d be screaming “Let’s do it for Mal!”
And at about 10:30 next Wednesday night, when all that remains of the NSW side is a weeping mess of battered Blues, we will all shake our heads in wonder at the magician that is Mal Meninga.
fishes
Guest
I agree Jo, the Aussie media is all about shameless bottom-feeding
Symbolsoup
Roar Rookie
Sure, I understand the breach and I'm sure it happens in every pub in Australia on a daily or weekly basis. No big deal. Pretty sure there are wars around the world and governments that are costing us money. Like somebody mentioned earlier, a light-hearted Bennett-esque master-stroke of pulling attention away from his team. Anyway, it was a well written article that brightened my day, thanks Chris!
Symbolsoup
Roar Rookie
Jo, you are so right.
Chris Chard
Expert
The extra 38 sec of that clip seem somewhat superfluous...
Chris Chard
Expert
What, no SBW joke?
The Womp
Guest
Probably the dunny cleaners at the Down Under Bar...
dirtyrottenscoundrell
Guest
Jo If you had any idea of how illegal it is for a member of the public to step behind the bar you would not be carrying on like a goose. Mal knew he made a mistake and apologized accordingly... now pull your head in as big Mal did. As far as the rest of your rant goes.... Yeah pull it in again.
The Womp
Guest
Go home Oikee. You're drunk.
The Womp
Guest
There is a difference between bravery and stupidity. Ordering the choccy ice-cream at Coogee Bay hotel well and truly crosses that threshold.
Jo
Guest
The Australian media is a repugnant pest and animal. Australia has one of the most concentrated ownership of media/news agencies in the world. Realistically, it's Fairfax or its News Corp. And for Australians to actually believe every rumour that these tarts post or print is a gross assessment of their intellectual capacity and their ability to use reason. The Australian media very very RARELY reports the actual truth and most of it is lies. The media is full of sensationalism and it degrades everyday life, making us focus on repugnant matters or getting angry over something some brat in an office chair decided to write about today. It is a total shame. Meninga did nothing but walk behind the bar then got asked to leave and did so. Australia is becoming such a pussy and nanny state it makes me sick. I have never seen grown men fight over petty issues more than what has been the trend recently, all about stuff published in these newspapers or e-papers. I am sick to death of Australians being so apathetic about the real issues and being all-consumed by the ones that are really bait for us. Menginga did nothing wrong, get over it.
Chris Chard
Expert
o_0 ???
Chris Chard
Expert
Pretty sure Crock got an eyelift to bamboozle Coogee security...
Chris Chard
Expert
Plesae don't paint all Blues fans with your bias Nick.... I know plenty who like a good guava one too
Chris Chard
Expert
I read a story once how the Newcastle Knights were having a competition at their hotel pool to see who could do the most lap underwater. Coach Mal Reilly walks out, finds out what;s going on, snaps off his aviators and dives in to beat them all ....almost drowning in the process. Maybe Mal is up to something similar, just trying to prove the old dag can still keep up with the young pups...
Chris Chard
Expert
Looking for rats and filth?
oikee
Guest
Hehe, you guys are all a little slow off the mark today. Hot off the cutting room floor as some guy mentioned above, big Mal was in a meeting. ? With the backpackers for origin 2. Where else would you think the NSW ref boss would find his video men. Common sense. Daley had a meeting to influe,,,,,,,, sorry to ask the refs for mercy, big Mal went straight to down under bar and had a meeting with Andersons backpackers, or video men as you guys like to call them. I wonder if he bumped into the "Lukes of Hazzard" while he was their, anyone can get a video ref job these days, all you need is a backpack and less than 2 bob in your pocket. hehe, your in.
Damn Straight
Roar Rookie
Ditto...who doesn't appreciate a good steamer.
Ricky Stuart's Beard
Guest
What happened Oikee? It seems all you want to talk about these days is how "they won't print this", 50/50 chance bla bla bla. Did one of your rants get left on the cutting room floor? Is this one of your banana bender conspiracy theories? In saying that, I do love the malarkey that comes from your typewriter, that is what you still use up there isn't it?
Joshua Wells
Roar Rookie
I think the real issue here is; what was the Queensland team doing in dirty dunder?
NickF
Guest
Mal is a leader alright.... unless, as he says, he's buggered. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79LaIL6x5d0