Now your team can’t make the finals, who do you go for?

As you watch your team slide from “at least our destiny is in our hands” to “we need results to go our way” to a confirmed inability to make the top eight, you will begin to ask yourself: “Who do I cheer for come September?

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For Tigers, Eels and Dragons fans that time has already come, and after this weekend there will be another couple of teams confirming their Mad Monday bookings.

So of the remaining contenders, who can you stomach cheering for?

The Roosters are a foundation club, so that’s a positive for traditionalists. They are in the type of form that could deliver a premiership so at least you’d be backing a winner, but how do you go for a team that is trying to buy a title?

That’s not even a salary cap accusation (you can make your own mind up about the true value of players), but it’s fundamental to the principles of team sport that the whole should be greater than the sum of its parts.

You shouldn’t have immediate success by cobbling together a group of superstars. In the NBA, even the Miami Heat had the courtesy to wait a year before they won the title when they bought LeBron and Chris Bosh to join Dwayne Wade.

Verdict: Can’t cheer for the Roosters.

Now they have recovered from their Origin hangover, the Melbourne Storm have returned to their ruthless best, but how could you possibly cheer for them?

Their style of play is as suffocating to the viewer as it is to the ball carrier. The agonisingly slow play-the-balls, the deliberate penalties on their own line and the general unlikeability of their players make this one a no-brainer.

Verdict: Can’t cheer for the Storm.

The Cowboys may not make the eight, but at the moment they are going as well as anyone. They have enough quality players to challenge if they get close enough, but you’ve got to question their behaviour.

They played just badly enough to get their coach sacked before starting a run that has seen them win three in a row, including victory over the Rabbitohs. If they beat the Knights this week they are in it up to their necks, but let’s send the Cowboys to the naughty corner for their petulance and go for someone else.

Verdict: Can’t cheer for the Cowboys.

When Manly beat the Storm in the 2008 grand final, many of us share the dirty little secret of cheering for them. We’re ashamed to admit it, but we stood and clapped as Steve Menzies came off the bench to follow the ball and sneak a try to put the icing on the 40-0 whitewash.

But can we cheer for Manly again? They play angry, often more interested in winning the fight than the game, and their raspy little coach’s valid points got lost in the flying spittle of his tantrum.

Sorry Manly, it was a one-time deal.

Verdict: Can’t cheer for Manly.

Last year the Bulldogs had a dream run. While they were praised for the innovation of forwards distributing the ball, it papered over the fact that their halves weren’t all that good at being halves.

Their fullback had a magical year that hasn’t been replicated, so if they couldn’t win it last year, they aren’t going to this year.

Verdict: Can’t cheer for the Bulldogs.

Others will argue that the Sharks have been galvanised by the ASADA investigation and the scandal has brought them closer together as a team unit. In reality, they are in about the right spot on the ladder based on their roster.

Despite all the fuss, as league fans do we really care that much about an alleged drug program from two seasons ago that didn’t work? Either way, there was stink about the Sharks even before ASADA went public.

Verdict: Can’t cheer for the Sharks

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The Rabbitohs are a foundation club, so that’s a tick. They haven’t won the comp since 1971, so that’s a tick for fairytale fans. They play a power game that’s fun to watch, so that’s a tick.

A penchant for the squirrel grip is a cross – but it was on a Melbourne player, so that’s a tick.

Oh no, this is going in a direction I don’t like. As a Tigers supporter, I was taught by the generations that came before me to hate the Bunnies due to their underhanded shenanigans from grand final day in 1909.

Verdict: Sorry Grandad, but for the next couple of months I’ll be cheering for Souths.

Not because they are the most likely to win or deserve it more, but because it’s impossible to go for anyone else.