Ban the Parramatta Eels from TV

By Chris Chard / Expert

Banning things has become a trademark of the new ARL Comission. The shoulder charge. Fighting. Wati the Streaker’s backside.

If Dave Smith is fair dinkum however he’ll step in with one more much needed exclusion – the banning of the Parramatta Eels from television.

While such a decision may sound extreme, it is one that is clearly in the wider public’s best interests and actually far less drastic than many ideas being proposed by the angry mobs.

A quick scout of the interwebs reveals that a number of frustrated punters have taken umbrage at Parra’s pathetic performances, and have called for them to be dumped for the remaining two rounds of the NRL competition and be replaced with the Newtown Jets, Mackay Cutters or Wally Lewis’ Kentucky Fried Chicken XIII.

And those are just Ricky Stuart’s ideas!

While such a move might be the most palatable, not only would it be a logistical nightmare but it would also wrongly deny other teams the chance to improve their for and against, as well as blokes from the Dragons and Knights who are desperately trying to avoid the end of year nude run.

No, Parramatta’s final two matches must go ahead…but it doesn’t mean the wider public should be subjected to them.

There I was yesterday just flicking through the channels when suddenly, with no appropriate content warning, comes on a footballing performance so devoid of moral fibre that I had to watch my VHS of the 1989 grand final three times just so I could sleep last night.

Now fair enough if the Eels footy flagellation had been shown on SBS after 11 on a Friday night with an R rating (for rubbish), but his was four o’clock in the afternoon! On free-to-air telly!

What about the impressionable young kids sitting at home who are now scarred for life? Makes me feel ill it does.

Sure you’ll never stop a few sickos turning up to games, records show that Lions versus Christians matches had a pretty decent crowd average even without the jumping castles, but beaming the Eels matches to millions of households under the guise of family entertainment is borderline irresponsible.

Now no doubt there are those out there reading this thinking “Yeah but if the TV stations lose an NRL game the resulting panic will create a tear in the footy space-time continuum that will lead to an alternate universe where the Hunter Mariners are battling the South Queensland Crushers for the Storm Financial Premiership and Mal Meninga is campaigning for a sixth straight term in office.”

Lucky then there’s plenty of other great footy going on to fill the timeslot vacated by Parra.

Just this weekend saw the Challenge Cup being played in England, even which a replay of would have far bettered the Parra versus Storm match.

Also its finals season in most local footy comps, how good would it be to see a few of them on the tube?

You can’t tell me that the Murwillumbah Mustangs versus Grafton Ghosts grand final qualifier wouldn’t be infinitely more appetising than Parra versus the Dragons this weekend. Hell, the ‘Stangas even wear blue and gold too!

So come on NRL, let’s think inside the box here, think about the sport’s reputation.

And most importantly for crying out loud please think of the children!

The Crowd Says:

2013-08-27T00:27:35+00:00

KiwiBear

Guest


No matter which option you went with two or like you say four you wouldn't make everyone happy. My point is that in the late 90 s there was a formula to get rid of so called none performing clubs which happened to be two Foundation clubs. This lead to North Sydney being removed whatever the right or wrong of it we now have a situation where Parramatta for one is a total basket case. Norths were competing and consistently were making play offs they were punished for having foresight and vision to re locate and some delays not of their making. Parramatta have not made the playoff s since 99? and their problems are due to bad management. Let them sit out on the side lines and sort their club out and let the Bears return they have had their time out in the wilderness and will be the better for it.

2013-08-26T16:42:04+00:00

Posterboy

Guest


You want Bears and West coast, but what about second teams in Brisbane and New Zealand? It appears that 4 new teams would be the only way to satisfy everyone, but nobody wants 20 teams.

2013-08-26T12:46:08+00:00

Mick Gold Coast QLD

Roar Guru


Hur, hur, hur - youse is funny boys, oh yes you are. It should never have even been contemplated. By the time the court directed they were wrong it was too late for some of us. That decision should have been made by the men in charge of the game, not by a court. P'raps you do not appreciate the affront that was, kicking out the Club with the greatest number of premierships, or the importance their team had in the lives of the strugglers who lived all around there, whose only relief from the hard grind of life in an Alexandria foundry was Saturday at Redfern watching Richie Powell and Fred Anderson, Bill McCarthy and Ivan Jones go around. I admire what Russell Crowe has achieved there, and his preparedness to stick with it. I'd love to have a chat with him about the Souths I grew up with and to commend him for the extraordinary value he has offered to an every day league community. Amusing stuff Will Sinclair, well done. Never heard of those names heroic, judgmental, uninformed baby Matt_S? Thought so. John Sattler, once a hero and now a mate, lives here on the Gold Coast too. I expect someone has told you of his worth. Were you listening or too busy talking yourself up? By the way, that last sentence of yours is a horribly mangled misquote and consequently meaningless.

2013-08-26T11:29:40+00:00

Rick Karaitiana

Guest


All I am hearing is Parra this Parra that, in case you did'nt know the Storm was the other team. and in the 2nd half played some beautiful football, even though it was a training run.

2013-08-26T08:19:48+00:00

sham

Guest


It’s those pub style meals that get him in. Normally a pub style meal would go down well with a schooner or three but not this time. It is just the food that is key and its intrinsic pub style. I reckon some NRL players have pub style voices and in the old days some of them had pub style physiques. The phrase pub style could take off from this. Not sure that telling someone that they had a pub style face or body would be a compliment.

2013-08-26T08:11:44+00:00

Wilson Flatley

Roar Rookie


D is often pronounced as an N in Fiji, i'm sure he got a tip from a Parra official but his pronunciation is still very wrong.

2013-08-26T07:37:09+00:00

sham

Guest


Yes I will watch a good game no matter who is playing but I had zero interest in watching the eels get flogged. I also find it hard to get excited about cricket matches involving Zimbabwe or rugby matches involving Romaia. If it was a boxng match the eels would have been counted out ages ago. It is simply a joke to show the eels on TV. Surely even a died in the wool eels fan would have turned it off once the Storm got to 40.

2013-08-26T07:24:46+00:00

enrico

Guest


Eels, dragons and tigers are not up to scratch. nrl should remove bottom 3 teams yearly to cull underperforming teams...then there will be no teams at bottom of the ladder. another option is to force bottom teams to relocate to perth to punish them and there fans. continue process until all teams have been relocated to perth.

2013-08-26T07:07:54+00:00

jamesb

Guest


The cynic in me also thinks that Nine is deliberately picking rubbish matches so they can have average ratings, and therefore argue the next time they go to tv negotiations, that they should be paying a lower rights deal.

2013-08-26T06:49:28+00:00

KiwiBear

Guest


Why? Take away the expansion option because some teams are basket cases? Wait for the existing teams to stabilise? It ll never happen those three clubs might sort themselves out then in two or three years the cycle will go around and a crisis will hit the dogs,roosters and what ever other club you wish to name. No the Bears are ready bring them in give them and the West coast a chance. Put pressure of eviction from the comp on these clubs they shouldnt be there if they cant sort themselves out! What gives the clubs in the comp now protected spieces status? Self interest and back room politics thats what!

2013-08-26T06:41:31+00:00

Boomshanka

Guest


The anti siphoning legislation changes from a 2009, trumpeted in big fanfare that "the best games" will be on FTA. Fast forward to 2013, and guess what - Conroy backs down on the clause and we're all left with the rubbish on FTA. http://www.tvtonight.com.au/2013/06/conroy-backs-down-on-anti-siphoning-clause.html Time to revoke the anti siphoning legislation and provide fans with respectful coverage.

2013-08-26T06:35:55+00:00

Chop

Roar Guru


Parra have been rebuilding for 10 years the front office has been demolished and rebuild more times in the last 10 years that the Storm have cheated the salary cap....I think the count is 5 CEO's and 4-5 boards 5 coaches in the last 5 years. It's embarrassing to be an Eels member right now....

2013-08-26T06:33:20+00:00

Chop

Guest


I’m a Parra member and I don’t want to see them on Fox because they’re the games I watch, I’m happy to watch to watch Fox games in HD without it being my team getting destroyed every week…. Thanks Channel 9

2013-08-26T06:22:59+00:00

bemused

Guest


2013-08-26T05:34:15+00:00

Damn Straight

Roar Rookie


That's giving Rothknob a rather large wrap.

AUTHOR

2013-08-26T05:09:57+00:00

Chris Chard

Expert


Country rugby league finals and ABC Grandstand...getting close to footy Nirvana there Riddos! Murbah looking the goods again this year mate

2013-08-26T05:09:19+00:00

BlakeW

Guest


And as a Jets fan, so would I !!

2013-08-26T04:37:28+00:00

oikee

Guest


No matter if Manchester is called a dog or whatever, the simple fact is that everyone knows who they are, and it would sell for alot more than 4 million in which Penn is trying to offload Manly for. Look, i dont want to get rid of any club. Their is ways of allowing more clubs into the comp, and natural attrition will take care of the rest. Here is a way to fast track the NRL's growth, to double the code, get the fans back, and grow the game twofold. Introduce two new expansion clubs for now. These clubs need to be in safe heartlands so we can grow the code, fast. Bring in a second NZ team, and Brisbane 2. Brothers is the safest bet. These clubs will need superstars, so Cherry-Evans is priority for Brisbane, Foran for NZ. Then cherry pick any other good players from Cronulla and Manly. I would even go after Beau Ryan , he is a great promoter for any club. Fifita would be a good buy, stay away from too many dinosaurs, so older players coming to a end. Yes it seems harsh, but to grow the game we need bigger more powerful clubs and extra derbies in areas that will grow to 40, 50 thousand crowds. So we dont get rid of Manly or Cronulla, we just take the worldclass talent and put them into these worldclass teams. Manly and Cronulla will then either grow or fade away a natural extinction. So no club is killed off. No time for sentiment, nobody cries when the Broncos or Parra are struggling to survive, so in dog eat dog world, let the games begin, and let the strongest survive. Expansion is a must, sooner rather than later, then we can go about growing the code. This is a foolproof way of growing the code.

2013-08-26T04:25:30+00:00

oikee

Guest


Hopefully expansion will give the game the growing potential it deserves. Then Manly will end up with the Wallaces, not powerhouse clubs like Brisbane. I explain myself below.

2013-08-26T04:20:57+00:00

oikee

Guest


Hehe, sold out crowd at Brooky oval, so 15 thousand. hehe Mate, we need to have blockbuster crowds of 50 thousand, we wont ever be getting that at Brooky, the dog track. And again, nobody will be watching. The fixed schedule is working well. I have a great idea, and no, it does not involve getting rid of any club. It will grow the game twofold, and increase viewers back to record numbers, rather than losing over 1 million now, somebody said they are down 1'5 million viewers. We be on water rashings shortly.

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