Ashes cricketers as Australian politicians

With one of the biggest events of the year – the Ashes series – taking a quick break so that an election can happen, the similarities between the two situations have become almost unbearable.

Please note: This all occurs in a fantasy world in which all the rumour of the past year are true and Tony Abbott has already won the election.

Michael Clarke – Julia Gillard
Bitter leadership tensions, reports of factional conflict and consistent media pressure marked this leader’s time at the helm.

While undoubtably gifted, will likely be remembered as part of a losing side, with off field incidents leaving a legacy of controversy.

Shane Watson – Kevin Rudd
The former golden boy who was seen as ‘the future’, however after failing to perform to the level expected and following reports of not being a ‘team player’ was dropped, with jealously presiding ever since.

Did make a return to the leadership, but only ever-so-briefly in what was ultimately a losing effort.

Brad Haddin – Anthony Albanese
Despite being a mainstay of the scene, was never really given the chance to shine and was eventually dropped; that is until a sensational leadership spill caused him to be catapulted back into the team, and as deputy leader no less!

Darren Lehmann – Peter Beattie
Thrown in in a last ditch effort to try and rescue some sort of a result. Only time will tell if it’s a viable long term solution.

Chris Rogers – Bob Carr
After consistent performances at state level year after year, this veteran finally got their chance on the big stage.

While he has been a little up and down at times, you can’t but help wonder why it took this long for them to be selected.

Alastair Cook – Tony Abbott
An incredibly defensive and at-time negative performance from someone who, whilst their own skills might leave a bit to be desired, is able to simply sit back and watch the other side crumble.

Kevin Pieterson – Malcolm Turnbull
Many wonder why he’s even playing for that side in the first place when there’s obviously another team he belongs in more.

Undoubtably talented, if a little cocky. Other teams, despite appearances, secretly wish he was playing for them.

Shane Warne – Bob Hawke
Past champion who now sits on the sidelines with an endless stream of advice and opinions. Can often be seen with their face in a beer.

Graeme Swan – Christopher Pyne/Bill Shorten
Couldn’t you just punch him?