Following last year’s performance many of you will be ‘supporters’ of this side. But even more of you are actually not supporters of the Roosters. This is for you guys.
Last season they finished first, with 40 competition points and were crowned premiers. However, this was only because of some ordinary refereeing decisions and because they are 10 million dollars over the salary cap.
The Coach
Trent Robinson is already a premiership winning coach and Dally M coach of the year after his first season.
It’s safe to say, judging by a previous coach with similar results in his first year and the Roosters track record for firing coaches, that he will be coaching some basket-case team by 2018.
He will bounce around there for a few years before being appointed by his mother, Buzz Rothfield, the Sydney media and himself as the single greatest coach of all time after coaching NSW to two Origin series losses.
He will then be hired by Parramatta where he will exceed all expectations by leading them to four wins.
Even if he lasts more than a few years at the Roosters there is little to no chance of continued success because he kind of has red hair. And read heads creep me out.
The Superstar
I want to say $BW but everyone knows he is giving up on league and union to try his hand at mexican cup stacking.
So that leaves a choice between a few guys, the worst origin half of all time, some weird guy who enjoys talking about his ‘alone time’ on the footy show, some scumbag hooker who belongs in prison, Boyd Cordner and a centre who scored the winning try in the grand final but just about killed himself attempting to do so.
So in other words the true star of this team is none other than Sam Moa, mainly for his awesome performance belting Glen Stewart in the grand final all day. Top work Sam! You are a good bloke.
So yeah, this team is basically stacked and we all wish we had this kind of quality in our side, unless we already do.
The Hated Player
Uhh is all of them an appropriate answer here?
Fine I will choose one. Assuming $BW is gone the most hated player would be Jared Waerea-Hargreaves.
JWH is a grub, his name is annoying to spell and on top of that he is really good.
When he isn’t busy knocking the most beloved players in the game (read Danny Buderus) the hell out, or clotheslining overweight buffoons (read George Rose) he is dominating your forward pack.
In conclusion not only does he prey on the slow and weak but he is so damn good we would hate him anyway to begin with.
Why They Suck
Roosters fans pretend to be classy, but really they are the same bogans that support all the other Sydney RL teams.
On top of that they are both one of the most spoiled and one of the most fair weather fan-bases in the entire NRL. They have won 12 premierships, including two since the NRL was formed and have been to six grand finals in that time frame.
They also miss the finals once every few years and we have to watch them rebuild overnight.
But the second they have one poor season they call for the head of whoever is coaching, be it some loser like Ricky Stewart or a club hero like Brad Fittler, and stop attending games.
No team ever goes back to back except the Broncos of the late 90s and even they did it with the help of a weakened Super League competition.
They also are probably going to lose their best player in $BW and everyone knows he is the single greatest athlete on the planet. Or at least Channel 9 tell me he is.
Speaking of Channel 9 this team was so overexposed by the channel its ridiculous. We get it they have SBW. I want to hear more about the Burgesses or how good Ricky Stuart is.
Their custodian is a Sesame Street character or something and is 300 years old and no longer has a human back as it was removed during surgery in about 2005.
Plus he always just manages to get the job done while looking as uncomfortable as possible.
Why They Don’t Suck
Ok, so even without Sonny-Bill this is still the best defensive team in the league, one of the top few attacking sides and obviously have a top notch recruiting and coaching staff.
They also just won the premiership with a relatively young side and most are returning next season. They will be just fine.
Top five worst things Roosters have done to the NRL:
1. Hired Ricky Stuart
2. Discovered George Rose
3. Beaten the Warriors in a GF
4. Potentially murdered Danny Buderus
5. Lost to the Broncos in a GF
So that is why you should all hate the Roosters. Next week I will tell you why Souths suck for next year.
Don’t forget to comment below why the Roosters suck and also why Souths suck. The best comments about Manly will be inserted into my article next week. Crediting the person who posted it.
Disclaimer: These articles are intended as jokes only and are in no means to be taken seriously.
Its all just a bit of fun for everyone to have a laugh about. I chose to start with the Roosters as not only does ladder order seem like a fair way to go, but also by starting with my own team I feel less likely to alienate any readers as they will be able to see I am not merely looking to insult weak target (like Parramatta).
I will post for Souths next Thursday night. You have until then to get your comments in!
mick
Guest
Roosters board are united in their goals and recruitment, and a lot smarter than Parra's, sad but true.
Rocky
Guest
Funny how some think its serious. I'm a Roosters fan and I thought it was very funny.
Roy
Guest
Up the Roosters.
MPF
Guest
Can't let the truth over personel retentions and sackings get in the way of a news ltd driven hatred, do you think Carney became a saint when he went to the Sharks or Myles became a angel when he went to Titans of course not but News doesn't have it in for those teams, remember the days when Carney had the media following him around all day reporting on his every movement all of a sudden it stopped when he was signed by the favourite team of a nameless editor in chief..Ahh agendas you got to love them.
steve k
Guest
someone else that was let go by the Roosters was Sam Perret
Rom
Guest
Laurie Daley. Do I need to say more?
League_coach101
Roar Pro
"Give you another reason to hate the Chooks – after winning the GF Maloney and Pearce will be the NSW origin halves next year." That's convulated logic. Pearce and Maloney were origin halves the year THEY WON THE PREMIERESHIP and they still couldn't win Origin. That was with two NSW home games. So by what twisted logic do the NSW selectors make the same mistake again?
Clint
Guest
I think where people get this "Easts poach juniors" kind of notion is that they don't really understand what constitutes juniors. In my opinion, if you develop a player from under the age of 18 (i.e. if they play on your SG Ball team or any junior rep side), they are a junior, irrespective of where they grew up and played their first football etc.
ross
Guest
Too much time on your hands BBQ alone Thornton but dont get your Sydney Roosters team poster too sticky. i suppose you wont have to buy perkins paste to stick the poster up in that case- happy gerkin the german helmet over SBW though
Dr Yes
Guest
Also Perret
Dr Yes
Guest
Easy. Parra '13: Hayne $750k (incl $250k external marquee sponsorship), Sandow $550k, Lussick $450k, Matua ??? Tonga ??? Harrison $300k, Roberts about $250k. Offered Papali $650k. After they released Horo, before attempting to sign Folau, they had just $110k left under cap. Crazy Money. They asked for special rules, so they could claim $110k for Folau, but pay 7 times more. Never before have special rules been created for any club. Surprise, surprise, it was rejected for them. Folau signed for $1.5M, 2 year contract with Waratahs / Aus Rugby. Grand Final, had following players, rejected / not retained by Parra from juniors or reserves: Maloney, Tupou, Mortimer, David Williams, Taufua, Horo, Buhrer. Add Lyon, who left as a first-grader. That's EIGHT. Roosters for '13: SBW: $800k (incl $250k external marquee sponsorship), Maloney about $400k, Jennings $300k (+200k paid by Penrith to break their contract), O'Donnell under $200k. All good buys. Roosters were $300k under cap in '12 (no signings then) which they can spend the next year. Also $200k long-term player bonus for Mini. Above 4 players plus JWH are the only ones in their entire squad that were purchased as first graders from other clubs - exceptionally low. They've been developing youngsters and non-first graders as top priority for the past decade. Canterbury, Sharks, Newcastle = 10 first graders purchased. Parra = 7 first graders purchased.
Dr Yes
Guest
Roosters have been very inactive recruiters & active off-loaders since '09. 85% focus has been on internal development of juniors & reggies. *First Graders* purchased: '09: 1 (Kouparitsis) '10: 5 (Carney, Conn, P Graham, JWH, Ryles) '11: 2 (Riddell, Justin Carney) '12: 0 '13: 4 (SBW, Maloney, Jennings - $200k paid by Panthers on existing contract, O'Donnell - bargain) '14: 1 (Remi Casty) Average = 2.2 per year Players exported / let go the following: '09 6 Shillington, Tupou to sharks, M Paea, Amos Roberts, J Tamou, Winterstein '10 6 Fitzgibbon, O'Meley, Mason, Soliola, Shackleton, Riley Brown '11 3 L Paea, Kouparitsis, J Aubusson '12 6 T Carney, Myles, Ryles, Linnett, Riddell, Conn, P Graham '13 4 Anasta, Leilua, Justin Carney, Masoe '14 ? Kennedy & others Average = 5 per year In 2013 full squad, merely 5 who had been bought as first graders (from any previous year). Consider: SBW = $800k ($550k + $250k external sponsor - below Thurston, Farah, Slater, and soon Smith's next contract; equal to Inglis, Hopoate, Carney), O'Donnell = bargain cost, Jennings = $300k (+ $200k top-up from existing contract at Penrith), Mini = $200k long-term player discount. For Canterbury, Knights, Sharks that figure is 10 or above. For most other teams, especially Cowboys, Titans, Souths, Penrith, and even Brisbane, and Parra that figure's above 6 (often well above).
Dr Yes
Guest
"Telegraph have an article saying Dave Smith has helped the Roosters bend the rules of the Salary Cap". Maybe you misunderstood - it says nothing of the sort. Still, never let the facts and all... :) :) It indicates no special rule changes/bending or actions from Smith other than a chat of encouragement 2 months ago + media statements that he's wanted. Smith's been quoted a dozen different times that he fully encourages SBW to stay, but changes no rules to keep him. He has same rules for all clubs. He instigated a salary cap review aimed at 2015 (escaping SBW). Over season, he's talked of encouraging "marquee level" players across all clubs. Earlier on, he changed the classification of earnings made 100% externally to league (old rule was pretty crazy, bordering on illegal restraint of business). Of course, cap increased following big TV contract - allowing Thurston, Hopoate and soon Cam Smith to sign contracts bigger than what SBW will sign; Inglis has signed an equal-sized contract. In the article you quote, Smith says how happy he is to have SBW staying, but actually gives all credit to the Roosters recruitment, saying he wasn't involved in process. He says "I want the best athletes to choose our code".
Don
Roar Rookie
I would say getting rid of Anasta probably freed up the most room in the cap without really losing anything on the field. Best decision made by Roosters in ages and worst decision made by Tigers in signing him - sorry, maybe equal worst with Adam Blair.
Mushi
Guest
Hilarious thanks your folks for the joke that keeps on giving
Clint
Guest
Somehow I think the other 12 teams in the competition might need to pay more attention to "drastically improving their crowd numbers" than the Roosters. http://stats.rleague.com/rl/crowds/2013.html Souths, Brisbane, Canterbury and the Roosters are the top four teams in average home game attendances for the 2013 season. "Rugby League would be better off without the Roosters"? Saying that Rugby League is better off without a foundation club is akin to saying we should rip down the harbour bridge because everyone uses the tunnel. Dally Messenger, Harry Flegg and Sandy Pearce all just rolled over in their graves when you said that. You should probably go trolling somewhere else mate.
eric
Guest
The daily telegraph have an article today saying Dave Smith has helped the Roosters bend the rules of the Salary Cap to keep Sonny. WOW. And on the subject of WOW. Why would Gus Gould allow Jennings to play for his beloved Roosters if he has so many problems. Rugby League would be better off without the Roosters or how about they relocate. It will drastically improve their crowd numbers and type of fans they have. Also, they wouldn't need to poach every other teams juniors because they can have their own juniors. I think the majority of rugby league fans would be in favor of their relocation.
Brian
Guest
Plus the other 4 or 5 minor players we lost but most importantly when Todd carney and Nate myles left in 2011, we didn't get anyone new till now. Everyone seems to forget that but they're probably the people who freed up the salary cap space the most
Rom
Guest
Well it looks like SBW will be at the Roosters next year so you'll have to get used to hating him as we'll as JWH Give you another reason to hate the Chooks - after winning the GF Maloney and Pearce will be the NSW origin halves next year
Clint
Guest
Looks like he is going to stay on: http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-league/league-news/sonny-bill-williams-staying-with-the-roosters-after-rejecting-nzru-offer-20131011-2vd35.html It will be interesting to see what happens now.