First things first, I’ll offer a defence for England’s performance to this point.
(leave a significant space here).
That there is nothing to say, nothing that can even be tentatively pencilled into the ‘pros’ column, tells you all you will ever need to know.
I could think of numerous words to illustrate my point but where do you start?
The annals are full of dire English performances, far too many of them on Australian soil unfortunately, and this can be put, if not at the top then pretty close to it.
Before the Gabba mauling, the tourists were justifiably favourites with the bookies, had by far the better form heading into the contest and man for man appeared to be a superior outfit.
Given what has unfolded that is mightily hard to fathom and an all too convincing impression of the sides from the 1990s that showed up only to be hung, drawn and generally quartered by a powerful host is being acted out.
That this isn’t an Australian side for the ages only makes it more painful to witness and serves to show up the depths to which Alastair Cook’s men have plummeted.
If they can find a way back from here then they will deserve all the plaudits that will be offered because it will be nothing short of a modern-day miracle.
The only, and this is fairly important, problem is they have no-one in the form to really compete let alone triumph.
Ian Bell, Michael Carberry and Stuart Broad are all performing competently but what good does this do in the face of an onslaught? And that is a rhetorical question.
Inquests will be undertaken – they’ve already begun in some quarters – as to whether this English side have passed their sell-by date and a convincing argument could be given to support this theory, but this is the here and now and not a cold February morning at the ECB’s headquarters.
So where do they go from here?
Changes will be made as teams in this position rarely stay as they are and this is evidence of the Australians having them exactly where they want them.
Throughout the series just passed, Darren Lehmann had no firm grasp on what his best XI was and the endless switching of personnel only muddied the waters.
But come the third Test at the WACA, the XI on show here will have been altered to some degree as a foothold is sought.
Four seamers, no all-rounder, an extra batsman are the obvious questions but that could be chasing the hare rather than applying any logic.
England have succeeded in recent years because of a stable selection policy and a very efficient method.
Two poor showings, admittedly dreadfully poor ones, shouldn’t result in a changing of the guard but they will have to reverse an historical trend as faltering empires have never been famous for their wise decision-making.
But this is a team that is struggling to maintain its role as a seriously dominant force in the game and the other day, in the face of the irresistible force that is currently Mitchell Johnson, they wouldn’t have even known where to begin to look for the word immovable.
It is hard to escape the realisation that in Anglo-Australian battles the tide has started to turn and if defeat should occur at Adelaide’s glitzy new football stadium then England’s cause in this particular series will be almost lost.
There is still hope that my countrymen can win two of the last three.
I just can’t see it happening.
Stray Gator
Roar Rookie
The guy is an empty vessel. Google 'Ricky Gervais Piers Morgan Atheism'. I almost - almost - felt sorry for him. Eviscerated.
Arto
Guest
@ Bogga: George Dobbel would disagree with you on that point. http://www.espncricinfo.com/the-ashes-2013-14/content/story/698509.html http://www.espncricinfo.com/the-ashes-2013-14/content/story/697651.html
Stray Gator
Roar Rookie
Can't see it happening, what with Boof running the show and Billy back in the picture. Cockiness, yes. Stupidity and bowling short - unlikely.
Arto
Guest
Yes, but it was fantastically funny to hear the Aussie commentators slagging him off and get him into a net-session in Melbourne!!! Keep them coming! The surprising thing for me is that Piers managed to get himself drawn into such a silly situation - one expects more from a shock-jock given they are highly proficient at goading their targets themselves!
Arto
Guest
@ RWB: I know what you mean, but I think he's comments regarding the effect of Broad's complaints of the sidescreen before facing his 1st ball make me believe he'll keep his emotions in check. I didn't get to see Johnson's spell there last time so I'm really excited to see it this tme round - the prospect of seeing 150km yorkers that swing in and crash the stumps out of the ground makes the mouth water in anticipation and if we thought 170-odd was a low score, it could be sub-100 for Eng unless they manage to withstand Johnson's onslaught!!! C'mon Aussie!
Alec Swann
Expert
With Will's comment that is. The warm-up opposition was never going to be the strongest, the same happens over here for whoever is touring.
RWB
Guest
+1 Well said Freddie.
Freddie
Guest
Congratulations Australia. Outplayed England on every single level so far, no complaints from this Englishman. Just a word to the wise though. You haven't won it - yet. Don't blow it now, or the ramifications from us after all this will be unbearable!
Bogga
Guest
Pieterson's body is shot. He won't go down with the ship. He'll play Sth Af one more time and then retire. But they've got some good young bats. England have largely sorted out their youth programs and these will be feeding batsmen into the national teams for years. The problems of the 80's are gone so they won't have to rely on imports either.
Alec Swann
Expert
It's hard to disagree with that statement.
Alec Swann
Expert
I'm with you on Piers Morgan. Attention-seeking drivel.
Alec Swann
Expert
Frankie, I wouldn't advocate that, even if he wasn't related to me, but I could see it happening. The Aussies deserve plenty of credit for having a plan and sticking to it. ps - Phil Hughes is a decent player but it's pushing it to say he'll become great.
mick
Guest
What finger dont you have your pie in Brett o...good chat on testmatchsofa today
jameswm
Roar Guru
I dunno about Johnson. Seam position isn't always perfect. Will be lethal if he sorts this out for Perth.
jameswm
Roar Guru
2015 OK, for Australia let's assume Rogers, Watson and Bailey are gone. Haddin too. Harris gone, Siddle still around. 1. Warner 2. Silk 3. Hughes - holding SA together again 4. Clarke 5. Smith 6. Maddinnson/Faulkner 7. Paine/Hartley/Whiteman 8. Johnson 9. Siddle 10. Pattinson 11. Lyon 12. Starc, Cummins, Agar
jameswm
Roar Guru
Rather than Perth Brett, I'd say back to the drawing board. A flawed Aussie team is giving them a good hammering.
Wobbly
Guest
Just thinking ahead to 2015 Ashes. England's batting prospects are still better than ours, but unless they can unearth a couple of reasonable quicks it'll be reasonably evenly matched. England: Cook ? Root Pietersen Bell ? Wk? Stokes Broad ? Panesar Oz: Warner Maddinson Doolan Clarke Smith Bailey Paine Faulkner / Bird Johnson Pattinson Lyon
Argyle
Roar Guru
Home perhaps?
Troy
Guest
The distance between the two sides wasn't really that great in the series in England, and Johnson and Haddin (and maybe even Warner) are in career best form at the moment. But England shouldn't panic - they still have a good side, which when they play their best, is still a reasonably formidable team. (Though as an Aussie supporter I say by all means hit the panic buttons!)
nachos supreme
Guest
It's his home ground and given that his renaissance seems to have begun in Perth and his coach is Lillee who most likely will be on hand, you can't seriously tell me he won't be a wicket taking machine?