Who's in your Ashes Composite XI?

When I was asked who would make up my composite Ashes XI, I laughed a lot and then suggested the Australian cricket team. At a glance it seems fair enough.

A side can win 5-0 and still have some brilliant performances from the opposition – look at some of the English batsmen in Adelaide back in 2006.

But this time around… the top six run scorers for the series? Australians. Four of the top five wicket takers? Australians. Who averaged better with the bat than most of England’s top order? Mitchell Johnson. The highest-scoring partnerships? Aussies, one through ten.

A closer look at the stats can sometimes throw up an interesting case or two, so let’s go through one by one just to make sure, and forensically pick our best Ashes XI.

Opener
Easy. David Warner’s 523 runs at 58.11 made him top scorer for the series.

He made 49 during a top order collapse at Brisbane, then followed up with 124 to give Australia its first dominant innings. 29 and 83 not out at Adelaide preceded 60 and 112 in Perth. Michael Clarke’s declaration was the only thing that kept him from three tons in three matches.

He also took that catch at Adelaide, a one hander from a Carberry blast, which rather sounds like an energy drink Warner may be called upon to endorse.

Carberry, his opposing opener, faced more balls than any Englishman, but couldn’t seem to pass 30 or 40, and averaged 28.

Opener
Also easy. England captain Alastair Cook was shattered by Australia’s bowlers, with six scores under 14. Meanwhile, a crescendo of a series carried Chris Rogers to the top of the run-scoring list across the last ten Tests.

Rogers shrugged off a poor game in Brisbane to notch 72 in Adelaide, 54 in Perth, 61 and 116 in Melbourne, and 119 in Sydney.

His late-flourishing career gave hope to 30-year-old park cricketers the world over that they still have time to make it.

First drop
Man, people love to complain about Shane Watson at number three. He should bat at six, he’s too erratic, he destabilises the batting. Compared to England’s first drop position, Watson was an island of such tranquil stability that several hundred people have already flown to him for a yoga retreat.

England shuffled Jonathan Trott, Joe Root, James Anderson and Ian Bell through the position, collectively averaging 20.04. Watson scored 345 at 38.33, including 83 not out running down the Melbourne run chase, and a brutal Perth hundred.

He also chipped in 47 overs, netting four wickets at a far better average than most of England’s bowlers.

Number four
Kevin Pietersen was England’s top scorer for the series, and one of their few reasonable performers, his 71 and 49 in Melbourne being the only things that kept them in the match.

But Michael Clarke scored 113 and 148 in the first two Tests, and while his batting fell away thereafter, he captained astutely and with great initiative, and hung onto eight slips catches.

He’s in charge.

Number five
Ian Bell struck a perfect 72 not out at Adelaide before he ran out of partners, but ultimately had a modest tour, with four Tests at five averaging 31. Gary Ballance came in for the final Test and scored 25 runs.

Steve Smith, meanwhile, left a few low scores in his wake to smash two of Australia’s three first-innings centuries, joining Brad Haddin to bail Australia out of trouble in Sydney and Perth.

Plus apparently he’s really funny round the change rooms.

Number six
Yep, England get one. George Bailey was Australia’s only player who didn’t fire, despite equalling the world record for runs from one over. He scored fewer runs than six Australians and six Englishmen.

Ben Stokes, meanwhile, was 15 runs from being England’s top scorer, had their best average of 34.87, and scored their only century. He was also their second-top wicket taker, with 15 at 32.80, and did all this from only four Tests.

He also greatly contributes to the tally of gingers and sleeve tattoos.

Wicketkeeper
Hahahahaha. Hahaha. Heh, hee hee heheheh. Wait, really? Ok, it’s Brad Haddin.

He scored more runs in one series than any batsman outside the top six. Ever. He was second only to Warner in the series, and second to no one in the first innings, by a small matter of 125.

He scored at least a half century in every Test, passed 50 in six of seven innings, and scored his fourth century.

All this was on top of keeping wicket to Mitchell Johnson and Co. in the hot sun, which reaped him 22 dismissals.

And England? Matt Prior scored a hundred runs across six innings to get dropped, Jonny Bairstow couldn’t total 50 across four, and both of them missed a slew of chances.

First seamer
Mitchell Johnson. The man of the series and the moustache of the summer, Johnson took 37 wickets at less than 14 runs apiece. That puts him 12th on the list of wickets in a series, dating back to the dawn of Test cricket. He bowled with a ferocity of pace that undid England’s batting.

He also averaged better with the bat than Cook, Bell and Root, his runs especially important in the Brisbane win.

Second seamer
England’s lead seamer, James Anderson, was a broken wreck by the end of the Ashes. 14 wickets at nearly 44 runs each, and he looked like the last place he wanted to be was playing for England.

Ryan Harris, meanwhile, is a broken wreck in physical terms, but played through the pain and held his body together to rip out 22 wickets at 19.31, bettering his already sensational sub-20 average.

His blazing unbeaten half century in Adelaide was just an extra cortisone injection to the inflamed knee.

Third seamer
This is the only other place where England could agitate for a spot. Stuart Broad won some admirers this tour as a wholehearted performer in a beaten team, and with the good humour he showed while shrugging off some virulent home crowd abuse.

As Broad smiled and clapped along to the crowd chants, plenty of Australians at least admired his pluck.

But in the end, Broad narrowly loses out to Peter Siddle. Yes, he took 21 wickets to Siddle’s 16, but in bowling only five overs more, Broad went for nearly 200 extra runs.

He often bowled too short throughout the series and gave runs away. His side also couldn’t bowl Australia out in five of their ten innings.

Siddle, meanwhile, gave hostile support to an attack that took 100 wickets. Only three of his wickets were lower-order batsmen, his series average was 24.12, and he went for less than two and a half runs per over.

Spinner
No surprises here. Graeme Swann took seven wickets at 80 runs apiece and retired. Monty Panesar limped through two diffident Tests for three wickets at 85, and Scott Borthwick picked up four wickets with Australia on the slog.

Nathan Lyon took 19 at less than 30 runs apiece, went at three runs an over, and sent down more overs than anyone but Johnson.

He took his first five-for on home soil, and finally locked himself into the side for the foreseeable future.

Ashes Composite XI
David Warner
Chris Rogers
Shane Watson
Michael Clarke (c)
Steve Smith
Ben Stokes
Brad Haddin (wk)
Mitchell Johnson
Ryan Harris
Peter Siddle
Nathan Lyon

So there it is. A little heavily tilted toward the Australians, might be the observation of the casual passer-by. But I can only work with what I’m given, and they’ve worked hard enough to deserve the reward.

No doubt this snub will cut England as deep as any, but they’ll just have to wait for 2015.