Poms red-faced and bare-bummed

In the days following Australia’s amazing one-day victory over the old enemy, I find myself pondering the summer of cricket we are witnessing.

It’s been huge. If pub 8-ball rules applied, the Poms would still be doing a lap of the SCG, pants around their ankles.

The Poms… Have you ever seen an outfit so badly out of form?

Their skipper, Alastair Cook – whom I have tremendous respect for – has had an absolute Barry Crocker. Fair dinkum, if it rained runs, the bloke wouldn’t get wet.

And he’s got mates, starting with retired great, Graeme Swann.

The once feared off-spinner headed home early, tail between his legs, a broken man. He struggled to find any rhythm or spin on our decks, and his stock ball was tame at best. I’ve seen milk turn faster.

Stuart Broad, on the other hand, was their shining light. It’s hard to work out who Australians hate more – Broad or Bernard Tomic.

I for one like Broad, and applaud him for not walking on that infamous day in the northern Ashes. I reckon if Cook got that much bat on one during our Summer he’d have saluted the crowd.

Broady put up with some pretty fierce sledging from every corner from the second he stepped off the plane, and is the only Pom who can hold his head high.

A special mention goes to Ben Stokes, who was the sole century scorer for the visitors, and bagged a Michelle (five-fer) on the way.

He might be one to give us a bit of stick in the future, Andrew Flintoff-style.

Now, on Friday night’s game… Firstly, what the heck is England’s one-day get-up? All red with a blue cap, they look like bloody parrots. I’ve seen better strips on Hindley Street.

Back to the game and what an incredible finish. England posted a more than respectable score for the Aussies to chase, Eoin Morgan leading all scorers with a top-notch century, then had us on the ropes needing 60-odd runs to win with nine wickets down.

However, the fella from Tasmania, James Faulkner, stayed calm, kept both heads down and smashed us to an amazing victory.

As for Timmy Bresnan, bring him on from both ends! You’ve got to feel for him, but he got it more wrong than Miley Cyrus.

One of the major highlights for me this summer has been the lack of whinging by Shane Watson. The bloke has more talent in his carefully styled hair than some international sides put together, but he needs to convert it into big scores more often.

He won’t be around forever and doesn’t want to be remembered for the hard-done-by look that has so often been smeared across his face.

He is without doubt enjoying his cricket more under the great Darren ‘Boof’ Lehmann and it shows in his on-field attitude.

Now, just make some consistent runs, boy!

And how was the catch by Chris Jordan off his own bowling to dismiss Davey Warner?

Reckon it’ll be days before they tear the seam back out of his fingers from that one.