Who let the dogs out?

After picking the ball up during the third and final test, Faf du Plessis was howled down by the Aussie cricket team. He subsequently likened them to “a pack of dogs”. Some Aussies comically responded by barking at the dismissed Faf, on the final day of play, as he departed with tail between his legs.

While some people have deplored the arguably childish antics of the Aussies, many believe it to have been in good fun.

This article is not about the rights or wrongs of who said what or who barked the loudest, this is just a bit of amusement.

Anyway, it got me to thinking that if on some crazy alternative universe, where we were all dogs, which breeds and stories would most closely reflect this all-conquering Australian cricket team?

CJL Rogers
Bucky is a loveable Red Kelpie. He was always a hard-working dog and was eventually brought into the fold by a family desperate for a dependable dog.

Ol’ Bucky lapped up the new-found affection and rewarded his new owners immensely with his resolute doggedness.

Despite getting a little long in the tooth and perhaps with failing eyesight, he will always be fondly cared for as he enjoys his remaining years.

DA Warner
Davey is a bit of a menace; a highly aggressive Pit Bull that loves a dog fight. Has to be kept on a tight leash, lest he attacks the neighbours’ dogs – he once tried to savage a Yorkshire Terrier in a pub.

Having been sent to obedience classes he has settled down somewhat, thanks to his female trainer, Candice.

However, despite his transgressions, Davey is very much a part of the family dog squad. Definitely not the smartest pup in the pack, but certainly the loudest.

Other families have suggested castration and many think this pugnacious pooch is just a mongrel.

AJ Doolan
Befitting a Beagle, poor Dools is a bit of a laboratory experiment dog. Tries his hardest and has lightning reflexes, but often undoes his good work by losing his concentration and taking his eye off the game.

No one knows whether he will be considered good enough to stay in the family or be cast aside, like some poorly thought-out Christmas present puppy.

MJ Clarke
This handsome Alsatian was brought into the family pack as a puppy and that is how he is still affectionately known… ‘Pup’.

Now though, he is the pack leader!

Highly intelligent and talented, when it comes down to the kill Pup orchestrates every move.

Can get a little snappy if things don’t go his own way, but his bark is worse than his bite.

Like many Alsatians, he is prone to back problems and needs frequent veterinary care. Enjoys long grooming sessions too.

SPD Smith
Smitty is the youngest hound in the pack, but he is developing into one of the most valuable and is seen as a potential leader when Pup retires.

A fairly quiet dog, he gets on with things in his own unique style and has boundless energy, typical of Labrador Retrievers.

Adept at a huge range of skills, for a young pup and improving all the time. Becoming a real favourite with his family.

SR Watson
A shaggy-haired, lumbering old St Bernard, ‘Watto’ always gives his all. However, he is very prone to miscellaneous aches and pains.

Sometimes when he’s fighting fit he’ll deliver like a champion. At other times it looks like he needs to lie down and have a good sleep.

Can be sulky and was once famously sent to the dog house for failing to follow his master’s orders, but currently well behaved and happy.

BJ Haddin
This hard working Jack Russell has lately discovered a new lease of life. Loves to play catch and forever yapping at opposing dogs.

Hadds is getting a little old too, but will be very hard to replace. Has a wonderfully happy temperament and always encourages the other dogs in his pack.

A great family dog too.

MG Johnson
When it comes to dangerous dogs, this killer Rottweiler leads the way. Affectionately known as Midge, this animal is quick, lithe and deadly.

A brute of a beast that will not give an inch – no wonder other dogs cower in fear as he charges towards them.

RJ Harris
‘Ryano’ is currently the most treasured of this stable of hounds, having famously overcome lameness and exhaustion to summon up his last remaining strength and take out the prey that was ominously looking to escape.

This lion-hearted Australian Cattle Dog has always given 100%. Plagued with sore limbs in recent years, Ryano will soon be at the vets, to see if they can get another couple of years out of him.

PM Siddle
‘Sids’ has been a stalwart for many a year and is renowned for his stamina and determination during a hunt, often wearing down the prey so that Midge or Ryano claim the kill.

Sadly, while the other members of the group chow down on raw meat, this Boxer has been off his food lately and appears to be slowing down.

Sent away for further training, time will tell if he makes a full recovery.

Must be hard for him, with so many talented young pups snapping at his heels.

NM Lyon
‘Lyono’ is a fun-loving Spaniel, a cunning canine skilled at sniffing out his prey.

At the end of a successful hunt he will howl at the other dogs, getting them all baying in unison.

Lyono wasn’t always included, like some of the others, but is now very much considered part of the pack.

Unfortunately, his coat’s a bit mangy.

JL Pattinson
‘Patto’ is a recent addition to the family. A young Greyhound pup keen to impress his masters, once he matures and hones his hunting skills a little more, I’m sure he’ll become a regular member of this fine pack of marauding mutts.

So there we have it. A team of hounds once considered underdogs, this hunting pack, with a mongrel attitude, is fast becoming the most feared around the world.