For those who missed it The Replacements was a middling early 2000s sports flick about a bunch of rag tag ring-ins who are thrown into a professional American football side during a players strike.
If you could suspend your disbelief for a couple of hours and imagine that one of the goofy stoners from Bill and Ted could play pro quarterback, it wasn’t completely terrible. The sight of the back-ups playing in the big time was somewhat heart-warming.
Now there’s no rugby league player strike, and you might not know it, but there is a #crisis in Queensland rugby league at the moment.
That is, the fans are bored stupid.
“With winning?” I hear the Southerners ask with a hint of hope in their voice?
Err, no.
Queensland could win every State of Origin match until astronauts from the distant future stumble across the Big Pineapple washed up on a deserted beach, Planet of the Apes style, and still whinge angrily about the ‘exhibition’ match in California
No, the maroon mob are still plenty keen for this year’s Origin series. But the lead up to the series? Forget it.
Unfortunately, one of the side effects of Queensland being so dominant in recent times is that the source of much of their dominance has come from their stability. While this makes for great viewing on game night, it makes for rubbish pub banter in the month preceding.
Working for a radio station in South East Queensland every Saturday morning, I’m taking the calls of angry listeners wanting to give it to me for “talking too much about the bloody Blues” and not playing enough Barnesy.
The truth is there’s nothing to talk about. Barnesy is forever in my bad books after bailing from the ‘97 ARL GF before kick-off, and even Hugh Delahunty could pick this year’s Queensland team, save maybe a bench smokie or two.
So what can we do? How do we reignite the spark?
Simple, call in the replacements!
Yes, in a twist of completely fabricated fate, the entire Queensland seventeen from game three 2013 have come down with gigantism on game’s eve.
Or signed with the rebel Ultimate Football Organisation. Or disappeared after getting onto a bus driven by a tall, cackling mysterious driver in an 80s era Parra jersey who must keep his vehicle in perpetual motion in order to stop it from exploding.
Yes, once again Queensland are in Daniel Wagon-style dire straits.
Who replaces Cam Smith? Is there a five-eighth? Can Locky make a comeback? Behold!
Queensland Replacements XVII
1. Anthony Milford
2. Dane Nielson
3. Will Chambers
4. Dane Gagai
5. Edrick Lee
6. Corey Norman
7. Ben Hunt
8. David Shillington
9. Jake Friend
10. Brenton Lawrence
11. Jacob Lillyman
12. David Taylor
13. Aidan Guerra
14. Josh Mcguire
15. Gavin Cooper
16. Ben Hannant
17. Michael Morgan
Coach: Neil Henry
As you can see, while some positions are flush with depth, others are scraping the bottom of the Bundy barrel in a way that would make the 1995 side blush.
So do you agree on the side? Does it need a bit more spark off the bench? And most importantly, could it beat the Blues?
I’d love to hear your argument. Just no Barnesy, ok?
Callum Murphy
Roar Rookie
Lol, McCullogh over Friend what are ya smokin/
Jack Daniels
Roar Pro
Wow some great depth Queensland have there - the second NSW side would smash it
Dallas
Guest
Might be an early call, but the name Brenko Lee will be in the mix in the next 2-3 years. He is a freak of a player.
casper
Guest
Milford at 5/8, Barba at fullback would be better - Corey Norman is not even close to origin. Surely McCullough leaves Friend in the shade now, with Ballin being an alternative. Edick Lee gone for the season so that spot is open. Can't see dave Taylor making any Qld side while he's a lazy sod. This debate shows why Mal is looking at generational change in the maroon side with DCE & Papali getting a guernsey last year. More to come with Hodges & Tate nearing the end of great Qld careers and quality centres are as rare as hens teeth. I think we'd struggle with depth, as we always have, but generally somebody aims up. Dave Brown played origin while in the roosters reserve grade & never had a bad game. They said Adam Mogg & Stephen Bell were duds but they both proved the critics wrong. It's not always about club form with Qld, only have to get up for three games a year.
Bruklan Marshall
Roar Rookie
1. Ben Barba 2. William Zillman 3. Anthony Milford 4. Daniel Vidot 5. Edrick Lee 6. Daly Cherry-Evans 7. Ben Hunt 8. Martin Kennedy 9. Andrew McCullough 10. Brenton Lawrence 11. David Taylor 12. Gavin Cooper 13. Matt Gillett 14. Ben Hannant 15. Aidan Guerra 16. Corey Oates 17. Jake Friend
Jackson Henry
Guest
Hello mate. I never actually thought of that.
Chopper
Guest
The NRL is very Sydney-centric simply because most of the teams are based there, and the Queenslanders won't throw their support behind another team. Granted, the Brisbane Broncos have a great record, but when they are the only team representing a capital city of 2 Million people, they should have won alot more premierships. Shame, shame , shame!
V.O.R.
Guest
Hey JH... the Sydney Centric Bias beamed into our lounge rooms up here (more recently on show with Ray Hadley's commentary of the Bronco's games) keeps the Maroon supporters primed with just the right amount of angst come origin time. I doubt NSW power brokers would ever be cluey enough to dismantle this dynamic and I am not sure I would want them to. While it certainly does grind the overt bias on display from Southern media serves us well in the end.
Raugeee
Guest
Actually, that'd be a good game and i'm sure plenty would watch it. Maybe shorten the NRL season, have a stand alone 2nd origin week and play this game on the weekend?
Chris Chard
Expert
Thanks Jack I've never been a big Vidot fan but must, begrudgingly, admit he is playing some good footy The QLD hooker depth at the moment is fantastic, and if Hunt was HB then you think maybe they'd prefer McCullough at 9 I do Sat mornings 8-10, 101FM Logan City on 'The Front Row' Sports Show with Kev Braysher and Craig Crowley...call in and i'll even dust-off Barnesy for you! CC
Sean
Guest
Maroons of the not too distant future: 1. Greg Inglis 2. Darius Boyd 3. Dane Gagai 4. Will Chambers 5. Justin O’Neill 6. Anthony Milford 7. Daly Cherry Evans 8. Josh McGuire 9. Jake Friend 10. Martin Kennedy 11. Josh Papalii 12. Matt Gillett 13. Aiden Guerra 14. David Taylor 15. Dylan Napa 16. Corey Oates 17. Andrew McCullough
Jack
Guest
I don't know what Vidot would need to do to get picked, I don't think there's a winger in better form! I'd have him over Neilsen or Lee in your team. I reckon he wouldn't look out of place in QLD's 1st team if they decided they wanted a specialist winger instead of Boyd or Tate. Other than that I'd have McCullough in for Friend. Maybe a little bit of Broncos bias there. All in all a great team, and one I think would give NSW a run for their money haha. Also which radio station do you work for Chris? Your articles are hilarious, I'd definitely listen.
Rob
Guest
Andrew McCullough is easily better than Friend. And I would also put Barba at the back and Milford in the halves. Although based on form you would have to say Sandow would give it a shake at the moment.
Jackson Henry
Guest
Just on one thing - about "talking too much about the Blues" - I hear Qlders say that 1) when NSW lose, everyone talks about how bad NSW were and 2) when NSW wins, everyone talks about how good NSW were. Having dug around a bit on this, I have to say it has some merit. During the Blues' golden years, the Footy Show (yes, I know, but if you don't have Foxtel because you don't want to pay for adds) would basically spend the entire "analysis" part of their shows talking about how NSW just had too much skill in the halves, how their gameplan was just too good for the Maroons (with detailed exploration of why this was so) and how they just had too much depth overall. Paul Harragon was one of the clearest examples in this regard - there was a drinking game stemming from how many times Harrogan would say "Buderus was just outstanding"... Now, with Qld's dominance, we hear a lot about who the NSW halves should be specifically, and who NSW should pick to win the series, generally...with the token line every now and then about how Qld is so dominant because of their spine. (My opinion on that is probably two blokes, at most, in our pack would make the Qld team, but anyway). To me this speaks volumes about the very real problems in NSW's rugby league culture. We just don't get it.
Chris Chard
Expert
That's looking pretty on the money for mine Sean...also aside from probably Cooper they've probably all got their best footy ahead of them
Sean
Guest
Only those who haven’t played Origin: 1. Ben Barba 2. Justin O’Neil 3. Will Chambers 4. Dane Gagai 5. Daniel Vidot 6. Anthony Milford 7. Ben Hunt 8. Josh McGuire 9. Jake Friend 10. Brenton Lawrence 11. Gavin Cooper 12. Aiden Guerra 13. Joel Riethmuller 14. Martin Kennedy 15. Dylan Napa 16. Dunamis Lui 17. Andrew McCullough
Squidward
Roar Rookie
If you judge it on last seasons nsw 1st ruling them out 1. Stewart 2. Jorge 3. Idris 4. Hopate 5. Uate , or Richards on form 6. Carney 7. Reynolds/hodgko 8. Grant 9. Peats/Ennis 10. Woods (was he picked?) 11. Wade graham 12. Beau Scott 13. G Stewart 14. Gidley 15. Sutton 16. Mason 17. Galloway I prob forgot some people. And didn't include anyone from last year which would make the side weaker as not including probably 22 players or so not just 17. So the centres would strengthen up and prob the props too and maybe a josh reynolds
Cadfael
Roar Guru
The sad thing is I think the side would beat the Blues, if for no other reason the Blues don't know how to win.
Cadfael
Roar Guru
I agree, I watched him playing league for Gerringong as a junior and rugby for Kiama as a junior.
Brett McKay
Expert
Needs more Dale Shearer... ;-)