The greatest Blues team from the streak of shame

Queensland will lower their eight-year streak six-feet under the Suncorp earth tonight, with a pre-match presentation to the faithful of all 49 combatants from their protracted reign of terror.

With the shield already securing a lease for a 24-hour frat house in Bondi for the next 12 months, this will surely be the highlight of Origin 3: Indifference – watching the tears stream down the faces of a pack of mourning Queenslanders as they attempt to recall what Antonio Kaufusi actually did.

In all seriousness though, this style of excessive back-slapping from Queensland is a lovely touch. I know this because it makes me sick to the guts. But like all things interstate-related in 2014, New South Wales rugby league has gone one better.

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Yes, it turns out the powers-that-be from the championship Blues have been able to drag themselves away from the pub for five minutes to collaborate with The Roar and hurriedly fabricate a moment of forgettable sky blue history.

In the same vein as Queensland’s burial of nearly a decade of floggings, we proudly present you with this slice of unique Origin memorabilia: the crème de la crème from eight schlep years of New South Shame.

The criteria for a guernsey? The less you’ve contributed to the cause, the less you’re responsible for this period of complete suffering and destitution. It’s a reverse principle to selection that not only pays tribute to the times, but also to a hierarchy who pulled their fair share of nutso picks over the journey.

Yes, these men have contributed to the rubble just as much as any player who has pulled on the colours to miss a tackle or two.

It’s a line-up fitting for a time we all want to forget, topped with fringies, gambles, hacks and errors of judgment and all wrapped up in a tight 13 especially for you and your screwed-up face of disgust.

Without further ado, here are NSW’s 13 heroes of eight years of yippy-bloody-yippy-ay-aye. Raise a glass and attempt to remember.

1. Michael Gordon
Made the single appearance in Game 3 of 2010, when the Blues went down to seal a stinking sweep for the Maroons. On the upside, he kicked three from three meaning, on a personal level, he’s spotless.

2. Steve Turner
When Jarryd Hayne needed a late replacement in Game 2 of 2008, Craig Bellamy selected from his own and sneaked Turner in to Suncorp through the turnstiles. In honour of this gesture, the winger played like one in a 30-0 loss.

3. Jamal Idris
Was anointed as the answer to all of the Blues problems before the series opener of 2010, and when he scored a late consolation try in the 28-24 loss, it was obvious he had grasped the NSW ethos of the time – keeping the deficit respectable.

4. Joel Monaghan
Played two games for two losses – one in 2008 and the other in 2010. Admirably invested in to the team’s culture but eventually took the ‘Cattledog’ thing a little too far.

5. Hazem El Masri
An irregularity of the era. One appearance for one win, including a try and three goals, all achieved in the flaming hell of Suncorp. Even though it was a dead rubber… bugger it. This performance wins him the captaincy.

6. Terry Campese
Played the season of his life the year before for Canberra and was deservedly gifted a debut at state level. Contributed minimally in a Game 1 loss in 2009 at Etihad. Has added no further games to his tally since. Now a bald trivia question.

7. Jarrod Mullen
Was picked for one game in 2007 and was the second-best halfback on the field in a losing effort. The selectors promised to give him all the time and patience in the world for him to develop in to the role. They lied.

8. Keith Galloway
The Big Sauce was called in to replace Trent Merrin for the 2011 Game 3 decider and played minimal minutes off the bench. Came on at 24-0 down and helped improve the shortfall for an admirable 34-24 loss. Onya Keefie!

9. Dean Young
Was selected for one appearance among a raft of fellow Dragons premiership players for Game 1 of the 2011 series. Ruefully, the group left their winning mentality in an ashtray at Wollongong RSL and the Blues went down 16-12.

10. Jason King
The Manly law student couldn’t replicate his rocksteady club form at Origin level in 2010 and 2011, eventually wilting under the severe cross-examination meted out by the Maroons heavies to finish quashed on zero interstate wins.

11. Anthony Laffranchi
There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. Anthony Le Footwork scored a try in the Game 1 18-10 win of 2008 and then played three more games before copping the chop in 2009 in favour of Paul Gallen. It had to be someone.

12. Tony Williams
With three games and one win after debuting in 2012, the T-Rex is a veteran among crestfallen rookies. Having contributed to #oneinarow, he can tell teammates what it’s like to go on a bender after a win and not on the first Tuesday of camp.

13. Jamie Buhrer
Was selected from the outer clouds for Game 1 of the 2012 series and would’ve been lucky to push a single grain of earth under a fingernail. Played limited minutes – no, seconds – in an 18-10 loss at Etihad Stadium.