Expert
Joined March 2012
761k
Views
489
Published
900
Comments
Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man here: @eld2_0
Published
Comments
The New Zealand Warriors have released popular scapegoat Shaun Johnson after caving to instinct and blaming him for everything dumb the club has done since inception.
The NRL will introduce a shot clock for sloppy coach swaps, aligning the practice with the game’s other time-restricted aspects like scrums, dropouts and being CEO at Manly.
With our men’s team set to politely inflict great shame on this nation over the Test summer, I’m getting in early to beat the crowd with the following: This country’s stuffed unless we bring back the old Australia – in other words, the oafish tamperers.
The spread of dispensable short-form cricket is the greatest threat to mankind since hyperbole. Not only is it clogging our environment and harming human interest, it is endangering wild animals, like Glenn Maxwell.
Manly have claimed victory in their feud with Trent Barrett, with the club avoiding an embarrassing financial settlement by paying him the remainder of his contract to do bugger-all.
In some good news for Australia, we are on course to rediscover the Thylacine before our next competent batsman.
G’day Australians. It’s your national coach Justin Langer, here to demystify the concept of Elite Honesty in my trademark unhurried tone.
Recent events prove coaches can no longer be trusted. Especially the rookies, saviours, fathers, and any situation Wayne Bennett needs an extension from someone he doesn’t talk to.
The role of the modern NRL coach is one of great responsibility and prestige. LOL, jokes – you just throw your keys in the bowl and pray you don’t end up on the Gold Coast.
Mal Meninga has finally begun his career as a rugby league coach, just two decades after chaperoning some of the greatest rugby league teams of all time, and the Canberra Raiders.
The Parramatta Eels have concluded their internal review in to season 2018, with the report to be handed to the coroner in coming days.
This year has seen some terrific moments in rugby league, some of them even non-fabricated.
Tim Gore claims Melbourne and the Roosters are two of the NRL’s least popular teams – but that’s not true when you compare them to asbestos.
Billy Slater’s defence team will attempt to have his grand final ban overturned by leveraging an ancient legal precedent from almost 96 hours ago, arguing his tackle was “no worse than being naked on Facetime.”
With Tyrone Peachey’s management laying planks for a backflip, it’s time for the Gold Coast Titans to ratify policy and allow all recruits to renege ad infitum.
Craig Bellamy has reached a preliminary final without a settled specialist halfback. He is now openly taking the piss.
Life is a relentless slog for survival, working day after day for unappreciative corporate juggernauts who grow fat off your own pain and then you die – but at least there’s finals footy.
If the NRL is serious about its embarrassing scheduling issues, it will give its annual salary cap fiasco a standalone weekend.
Manly will part ways with Trent Barrett after the coach “brought the club into disrepute” by expecting training equipment that wasn’t used in the war era.
The coaching circus was interrupted on the weekend with further developments in an intriguing premiership race. What is Todd Greenberg doing to ensure this never happens again?
Wonderful again, KK. Any position in this administrative masterstroke for T.Barrett?
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
I’ll wear that with pride, Taubada!
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
Thanks DP! You’ve gotta wonder about Toovey’s dwindling stocks on the Beaches. That’s even acknowledging the pot plant would qualify as state-of-the-art training equipment
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
Love it, Paul, cheers mate. And apologies for haunting you with Little Paul, which sounds super weird as I type it
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
Dutski, you’re too kind! The crises have fed me bountifully this year. Kinda makes me appreciated unbalanced journalism. Not good.
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
BD, have you been watching us through the DT’s long lens?
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
Great read AJ! We should collab next time and create one huge crises mega-sludge ball. I reckon it would look like that massive meteor of nappies they dug up from the London underground
Presenting the 2018 Crises awards
Cheers Justin, much appreciated. The Crises Tidal Wave can power endless pieces, I’m actually expecting it in bible form soon
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
Too right TB- it was a disgracefully poor year for disgrace. Also can’t believe I overlooked the Proctor Squeeze. I love the Gorski and could listen to him talk wheels all day!
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
God this is funny. Crack and Spanks for alt-comms on GF day please
Crackling and Spanks: Grist for the granny
AJL you legend, thank you for detecting this subtle reference!
Slater defence to fight ban saying "at least he was wearing pants"
It’s a straight-to-DVD blockbuster just waiting to happen. You could play Honest Randy too
Slater defence to fight ban saying "at least he was wearing pants"
KK, I’m actually more interested in securing at seat at the hearing rather than Sunday at ANZ- this is a true biggun
Slater defence to fight ban saying "at least he was wearing pants"
Beautiful stuff EJ. Remember too: no need to pack your own plastic furniture for Suncorp either. Luxury
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
Interesting, Randy. Such is the depths of their despair, perhaps Manly need Darren Lockyer in drag
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
Madge the obvious choice there, but any idea of what percentage of him is a ‘Manly person?’
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
KK, I await this with great zeal. Trent does have the movie star looks, but in saying this, I rate him the second most attractive Manly coach after Graham Lowe
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
Left field, Paul. But we may get more sense on rugby league from a cricketer or a vocal artist
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
Forty, this is the kinda rational and intelligent insight Manly need as CEO. Got anything on for the next 2-3 months?
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
Cheers TB. I thought they were flush too. Seems shiny new stuff can just rapidly age once a team starts losing
Barrett to depart Manly after request for facilities “not in spirit of club"
Thanks for reading everyone. Some of these comments are absolute gold. Carney, Gould, barbecues, 10 year plans, yoga based pre-seasons, another Super League war? Outstanding suggestions all round! The game will be back where it belongs in no time- shrunk to a one-inch column in the details section.
The NRL is being ruined by rugby league
“Informed”? “Intelligent”? “Lower grades”? C’mon Billy, you know I’m not the go-to for research and logic!
Will work on the funny for you though.
Thanks for reading too
We should indict Hasler and Maguire for losses of Damien Cook
Not a bad call, Tom G. And ‘Gormless’? Magnifique! *kisses fingers like Italian chef*
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back