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Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man here: @eld2_0
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Barring a successful petition for a remake that digitally removes the mugs, the rest of Penrith’s season is guaranteed to suck so badly it will indelibly taint the club in popular culture for eternity.
The ICC Cricket World Cup: a tournament synonymous with breathtaking displays of skill, determination and most notably, inexplicable miscalculations akin to Schapelle Corby picking up a boogie board bag.
Melbourne Storm’s predicted fade-out is now eight years overdue, raising obvious questions as to whether the club is the climate change of rugby league.
Phil Gould’s strategy to remedy the Panthers has been unique, with his five-year plan now in to its eighth year of hiring as many personal enemies as possible.
The NRL’s meek canvassing of relocation is now a yearly pastime for the game, much like the latest Bears bid, Titans overhaul or unpaid TPA.
Kalyn Ponga is set to eclipse his debut season, with the young Knight to single-handedly deliver Newcastle premierships and air-conditioned classrooms by year’s end.
The Storm have always exhibited remorse when it comes to their eye-watering cap rorts of 2010. In fact, they routinely mention it every year at their anniversary celebrations for the ’07 and ’09 titles.
We must be realistic about expectations for the Ashes and World Cup following Australia’s stunning resurgence in India. That’s why I’m listing our chances for the double at $1.01.
This NRL summer has strengthened the game’s role as a vessel for scandal. But now with the season proper on our doorstep, the competition can finally return to its primary purpose; a vessel for scandal and Origin selection.
Should Australia abandon the Dukes ball experiment for something more appropriate, like training our batsmen to hit a beach ball in a stocking?
Australia and India will reconvene for the first of five critical ODI matches this Saturday, bringing to an end their interminable separation, which now stands at just over a month.
A new breed of statistics providers have illuminated modern cricket, expanding minds like LSD and shattering norms like an arm bent past the 15 degrees.
Are you celebrating the end of Australia’s gravely uninspiring home summer?
Australian selectors have provided encouragement for Matthew Wade by admitting he can still “force their hand” for selection, but only through sheer weight of “impregnable kompromat.”
Insiders say your club is embarking on “arguably its toughest pre-season ever” with a number of players “training the house down”, some even with clothes on.
An innocent man wronged by the system? Or a criminal deserving of a life sentence for a switch-hit at training in 2015?
As we all agree, Australian cricket is being slowly murdered by park-level batting, selectors and childhood obesity. But beware: the threat of an unjustified fat kid is nothing compared to the devastation of not getting it to ‘go’.
There existed a time when Cricket Australia was in touch with reality. Now the organisation is guided by marketing millennials with single-eared headsets, ponytails and a selection policy based on anything but runs and ability.
Selectors will sack Australia’s impatient batsmen following another collapse against India, with specific instructions to return to Big Bash cricket to learn to “bat time”.
Sharks boss Barry Russell has displayed continued professionalism and integrity in difficult times as a CEO. His type has no place in rugby league administration.
This new mega-footprint would also allow the NRL to shift Newcastle, probably to PNG
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands
Now we’re getting somewhere!
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands
I like all of this, Robert, except moving the Chooks to Adelaide. I’ve heard the city’s soy goat’s milk honey frappe is sub-par
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands
Meet you there with the cherry-picker and the long lens, Baz
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands
KK, I have bookmarked cargo cult programming, and thrown my hands aloft in ‘amen’ style in endorsement of your final line
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands
Indeed, Max. I too like my relocations cold and spreadsheet-based
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands
Good morning KK and top of the season to you. Once again, you speak sense. Leave the man at fullback, and get him to Easts. We need another utility and preferably an Aries
Kalyn Ponga's 2019 set to exceed exaltations
Cheers matth. Sean Rudder was always wonderful at carrying a team, seems he’s done it again here
Kalyn Ponga's 2019 set to exceed exaltations
Cheers Griggso. Season 2030 is not looking good. Scurvy could be the new ACL
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
I was already fired up for the footy, but hearing Big Daddy talk religion has surged me to new levels
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
I swear I’m immune, Shane. Tom Cruise told me so
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
G’day TB, it is wonderful to again be blinded by the reflection of the tinfoil. As for Latrell’s knees, I haven’t slept since the Waratahs game. Which is crazy because it was rugby
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
G’day KK, its wonderful to smell the liniment again. Wishing you a fruitful 2019 season. Please be careful down there with Todd and Peter, you could find yourself in an executive role in refereeing
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
Got me there
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Thanks James, much appreciated! Our internet is painful, after all
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Good shout. And perhaps one of those rubber superballs for T20 (or a zorb ball for games involving Australia)
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Thanks James. It’s an uncontrollable bodily reaction
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Bloody fantastic view, KK. Using our own ball seems a much more plausible proposition than what I originally hoped, which was to play with no ball at all
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Kay, I need to get you on a cliché consultancy role
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
You’re right, FQ. Tennis is badly lacking naked horseplay
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Too kind mate, thank you
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Seeing them like footballs!
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Thanks Harold. Self admonishing for missing the betting irregularities. Shall include in my next League in Crisis piece, which should only be minutes away
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
He’s sending plenty of texts lately Big D- don’t speak too soon, there could be a ‘slip-up’. Also known in league circles as a ‘hacking’
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
I absolutely love this, Paul, and have now cancelled my afternoon to deeply cogitate the matter
Relocation now a fruitless annual debate alongside mooted Bears comebacks and Titans rebrands