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Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man here: @eld2_0
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Insiders say your club is embarking on “arguably its toughest pre-season ever” with a number of players “training the house down”, some even with clothes on.
An innocent man wronged by the system? Or a criminal deserving of a life sentence for a switch-hit at training in 2015?
As we all agree, Australian cricket is being slowly murdered by park-level batting, selectors and childhood obesity. But beware: the threat of an unjustified fat kid is nothing compared to the devastation of not getting it to ‘go’.
There existed a time when Cricket Australia was in touch with reality. Now the organisation is guided by marketing millennials with single-eared headsets, ponytails and a selection policy based on anything but runs and ability.
Selectors will sack Australia’s impatient batsmen following another collapse against India, with specific instructions to return to Big Bash cricket to learn to “bat time”.
Sharks boss Barry Russell has displayed continued professionalism and integrity in difficult times as a CEO. His type has no place in rugby league administration.
Australia has been ground to a halt for months, completely paralysed by widespread panic as it grapples with the unknown of what we can or can’t say on a cricket field.
The emails documenting illegal contact between Shane Flanagan and Cronulla have been revealed. We think. Not only could they potentially prove a breach of NRL sanctions, they cast further doubt on boomers and their ability to grasp internet culture.
The New Zealand Warriors have released popular scapegoat Shaun Johnson after caving to instinct and blaming him for everything dumb the club has done since inception.
The NRL will introduce a shot clock for sloppy coach swaps, aligning the practice with the game’s other time-restricted aspects like scrums, dropouts and being CEO at Manly.
With our men’s team set to politely inflict great shame on this nation over the Test summer, I’m getting in early to beat the crowd with the following: This country’s stuffed unless we bring back the old Australia – in other words, the oafish tamperers.
The spread of dispensable short-form cricket is the greatest threat to mankind since hyperbole. Not only is it clogging our environment and harming human interest, it is endangering wild animals, like Glenn Maxwell.
Manly have claimed victory in their feud with Trent Barrett, with the club avoiding an embarrassing financial settlement by paying him the remainder of his contract to do bugger-all.
In some good news for Australia, we are on course to rediscover the Thylacine before our next competent batsman.
G’day Australians. It’s your national coach Justin Langer, here to demystify the concept of Elite Honesty in my trademark unhurried tone.
Recent events prove coaches can no longer be trusted. Especially the rookies, saviours, fathers, and any situation Wayne Bennett needs an extension from someone he doesn’t talk to.
The role of the modern NRL coach is one of great responsibility and prestige. LOL, jokes – you just throw your keys in the bowl and pray you don’t end up on the Gold Coast.
Mal Meninga has finally begun his career as a rugby league coach, just two decades after chaperoning some of the greatest rugby league teams of all time, and the Canberra Raiders.
The Parramatta Eels have concluded their internal review in to season 2018, with the report to be handed to the coroner in coming days.
This year has seen some terrific moments in rugby league, some of them even non-fabricated.
Thanks Harold. Self admonishing for missing the betting irregularities. Shall include in my next League in Crisis piece, which should only be minutes away
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
He’s sending plenty of texts lately Big D- don’t speak too soon, there could be a ‘slip-up’. Also known in league circles as a ‘hacking’
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Thanks Paul. Definitely disappointed in the shortfall of clichés, but I’m “working hard in the gym” to rectify and should be ready for round one
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Cheers Stirling, but I must defer to the great work of our footballers. They write themselves
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Great idea, Paul. Then once the series sweep is complete, time for a mini-series celebrating his rise. If it’s good for The Don, its’ good for Glenn.
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
He was overlooked again, Matt. According to Trevor Hohns, he only wants to play white ball cricket. Jesus wept
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
Its a sad story, Graeme. The trajectory is so predictable. Earmarked – fast-tracked – fallout with Michael Clarke – become County/Bangladesh PL stalwart
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
Much appreciated bigbaz – although topping selectors’ logic could also be achieved by a car tyre
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
Not a bad call, Tom G. And ‘Gormless’? Magnifique! *kisses fingers like Italian chef*
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
Wonderful again, KK. Any position in this administrative masterstroke for T.Barrett?
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
I’ll wear that with pride, Taubada!
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
Thanks DP! You’ve gotta wonder about Toovey’s dwindling stocks on the Beaches. That’s even acknowledging the pot plant would qualify as state-of-the-art training equipment
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
Love it, Paul, cheers mate. And apologies for haunting you with Little Paul, which sounds super weird as I type it
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
Dutski, you’re too kind! The crises have fed me bountifully this year. Kinda makes me appreciated unbalanced journalism. Not good.
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
BD, have you been watching us through the DT’s long lens?
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
Great read AJ! We should collab next time and create one huge crises mega-sludge ball. I reckon it would look like that massive meteor of nappies they dug up from the London underground
Presenting the 2018 Crises awards
Cheers Justin, much appreciated. The Crises Tidal Wave can power endless pieces, I’m actually expecting it in bible form soon
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
Too right TB- it was a disgracefully poor year for disgrace. Also can’t believe I overlooked the Proctor Squeeze. I love the Gorski and could listen to him talk wheels all day!
The crisis merchant's memorable moments of 2018
God this is funny. Crack and Spanks for alt-comms on GF day please
Crackling and Spanks: Grist for the granny
AJL you legend, thank you for detecting this subtle reference!
Slater defence to fight ban saying "at least he was wearing pants"
It’s a straight-to-DVD blockbuster just waiting to happen. You could play Honest Randy too
Slater defence to fight ban saying "at least he was wearing pants"
KK, I’m actually more interested in securing at seat at the hearing rather than Sunday at ANZ- this is a true biggun
Slater defence to fight ban saying "at least he was wearing pants"
Seeing them like footballs!
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version