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Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man here: @eld2_0
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Kalyn Ponga is set to eclipse his debut season, with the young Knight to single-handedly deliver Newcastle premierships and air-conditioned classrooms by year’s end.
The Storm have always exhibited remorse when it comes to their eye-watering cap rorts of 2010. In fact, they routinely mention it every year at their anniversary celebrations for the ’07 and ’09 titles.
We must be realistic about expectations for the Ashes and World Cup following Australia’s stunning resurgence in India. That’s why I’m listing our chances for the double at $1.01.
This NRL summer has strengthened the game’s role as a vessel for scandal. But now with the season proper on our doorstep, the competition can finally return to its primary purpose; a vessel for scandal and Origin selection.
Should Australia abandon the Dukes ball experiment for something more appropriate, like training our batsmen to hit a beach ball in a stocking?
Australia and India will reconvene for the first of five critical ODI matches this Saturday, bringing to an end their interminable separation, which now stands at just over a month.
A new breed of statistics providers have illuminated modern cricket, expanding minds like LSD and shattering norms like an arm bent past the 15 degrees.
Are you celebrating the end of Australia’s gravely uninspiring home summer?
Australian selectors have provided encouragement for Matthew Wade by admitting he can still “force their hand” for selection, but only through sheer weight of “impregnable kompromat.”
Insiders say your club is embarking on “arguably its toughest pre-season ever” with a number of players “training the house down”, some even with clothes on.
An innocent man wronged by the system? Or a criminal deserving of a life sentence for a switch-hit at training in 2015?
As we all agree, Australian cricket is being slowly murdered by park-level batting, selectors and childhood obesity. But beware: the threat of an unjustified fat kid is nothing compared to the devastation of not getting it to ‘go’.
There existed a time when Cricket Australia was in touch with reality. Now the organisation is guided by marketing millennials with single-eared headsets, ponytails and a selection policy based on anything but runs and ability.
Selectors will sack Australia’s impatient batsmen following another collapse against India, with specific instructions to return to Big Bash cricket to learn to “bat time”.
Sharks boss Barry Russell has displayed continued professionalism and integrity in difficult times as a CEO. His type has no place in rugby league administration.
Australia has been ground to a halt for months, completely paralysed by widespread panic as it grapples with the unknown of what we can or can’t say on a cricket field.
The emails documenting illegal contact between Shane Flanagan and Cronulla have been revealed. We think. Not only could they potentially prove a breach of NRL sanctions, they cast further doubt on boomers and their ability to grasp internet culture.
The New Zealand Warriors have released popular scapegoat Shaun Johnson after caving to instinct and blaming him for everything dumb the club has done since inception.
The NRL will introduce a shot clock for sloppy coach swaps, aligning the practice with the game’s other time-restricted aspects like scrums, dropouts and being CEO at Manly.
With our men’s team set to politely inflict great shame on this nation over the Test summer, I’m getting in early to beat the crowd with the following: This country’s stuffed unless we bring back the old Australia – in other words, the oafish tamperers.
Cheers matth. Sean Rudder was always wonderful at carrying a team, seems he’s done it again here
Kalyn Ponga's 2019 set to exceed exaltations
Cheers Griggso. Season 2030 is not looking good. Scurvy could be the new ACL
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
I was already fired up for the footy, but hearing Big Daddy talk religion has surged me to new levels
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
I swear I’m immune, Shane. Tom Cruise told me so
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
G’day TB, it is wonderful to again be blinded by the reflection of the tinfoil. As for Latrell’s knees, I haven’t slept since the Waratahs game. Which is crazy because it was rugby
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
G’day KK, its wonderful to smell the liniment again. Wishing you a fruitful 2019 season. Please be careful down there with Todd and Peter, you could find yourself in an executive role in refereeing
Round 1 is here, now we can finally talk about the football
Got me there
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Thanks James, much appreciated! Our internet is painful, after all
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Good shout. And perhaps one of those rubber superballs for T20 (or a zorb ball for games involving Australia)
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Thanks James. It’s an uncontrollable bodily reaction
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Bloody fantastic view, KK. Using our own ball seems a much more plausible proposition than what I originally hoped, which was to play with no ball at all
The Dukes debate: Maybe we should just concentrate on hitting our own ball
Kay, I need to get you on a cliché consultancy role
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
You’re right, FQ. Tennis is badly lacking naked horseplay
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Too kind mate, thank you
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Seeing them like footballs!
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Thanks Harold. Self admonishing for missing the betting irregularities. Shall include in my next League in Crisis piece, which should only be minutes away
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
He’s sending plenty of texts lately Big D- don’t speak too soon, there could be a ‘slip-up’. Also known in league circles as a ‘hacking’
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Thanks Paul. Definitely disappointed in the shortfall of clichés, but I’m “working hard in the gym” to rectify and should be ready for round one
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Cheers Stirling, but I must defer to the great work of our footballers. They write themselves
Rugby league pre-season article template: Updated 2019 version
Great idea, Paul. Then once the series sweep is complete, time for a mini-series celebrating his rise. If it’s good for The Don, its’ good for Glenn.
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
He was overlooked again, Matt. According to Trevor Hohns, he only wants to play white ball cricket. Jesus wept
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
Its a sad story, Graeme. The trajectory is so predictable. Earmarked – fast-tracked – fallout with Michael Clarke – become County/Bangladesh PL stalwart
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
Much appreciated bigbaz – although topping selectors’ logic could also be achieved by a car tyre
Glenn Maxwell's career has become a 12-part crime podcast
Not a bad call, Tom G. And ‘Gormless’? Magnifique! *kisses fingers like Italian chef*
Sea Eagles CEO: Toovey didn't offend enough people at Manly to be asked back
Good morning KK and top of the season to you. Once again, you speak sense. Leave the man at fullback, and get him to Easts. We need another utility and preferably an Aries
Kalyn Ponga's 2019 set to exceed exaltations