I remember when Ian Thorpe announced his retirement – the first time. I was listening to talkback radio, and I was struck by how many people were treating his decision to call it a day at a relatively young age as some sort of personal betrayal.
The sense of entitlement was palpable: it was clear there was a widespread belief that Thorpe ‘owed’ us something, and was chucking in the towel before settling this debt.
It was as if the man was our property, and by deciding that after many years of single-mindedly pushing his body to the very limits of physical possibility, he had somehow stolen himself from us.
It was as if, having dedicated his entire adult life – and a hefty slab of his pre-adult life – to the obsessive pursuit of the black line at the bottom of a pool, he had thereby forfeited the right to do anything else.
We, the proprietary public, the nation of spread-bellied sofa-slugs which had convinced itself that these extraordinary achievements borne of individual talent, determination and self-sacrifice were in some way our own, weren’t ready to give him permission to cast off the yoke we’d placed on him.
If ever a man was taught from an early age that his life was not his own, it’s Ian James Thorpe.
There has already been too much written about Ian Thorpe. Not necessarily bad things, just… too much. The best thing I’ve seen written about it, in fact, has been by author Benjamin Law, who noted, “It’s not about you” – a message many would do well to heed.
And here I pause while you go to Twitter and denounce the wanker who’s writing an article about Ian Thorpe just to say that people shouldn’t write articles about Ian Thorpe. Yes, haha. It is ironic isn’t it. Now shut up.
Look, if I were any good at keeping my opinions to myself I’d be in a different job. So yes, there has been too much written about Ian Thorpe. And yes I’m adding to the problem. So you probably shouldn’t even read this. Go get some exercise instead. It’s a much smarter choice.
There are, I’ve no doubt, many people around the world who will now see Thorpe as a pervert, a deviant, a godless hellbound violator of heavenly laws. Funnily enough, the mountains of opinion being offered on the subject haven’t been revolving around this theme at all – I’ve not seen many arguments regarding the morality of homosexuality, and three cheers for that.
At the very least we do not have to perform the tedious task of refuting lunatics that so often accompanies public controversies.
No, the arguments swirling about Thorpe in the opinion-sphere right now centre on a couple of apparently common reactions to his coming out: ‘Who cares’ and ‘Not surprised’.
OK, let’s deal with that second one first. No, it probably isn’t a big surprise to many of us that Ian Thorpe is gay. However, there is no actual philosophical principle stating that unsurprising news should not be imparted. It wasn’t surprising when Lisa McCune won the Gold Logie either, but nobody demanded the envelope remain sealed and the canapes cancelled.
As for ‘who cares’? Well. I don’t care. You don’t care. Why should we, right? Nobody should care about what other people choose to do in the privacy of their bedrooms, or kitchens, or living rooms, or toilet cubicles, with other consenting adults.
Humanity contains within it an enormous variety of different individual tastes regarding who or what one chooses to rub one’s nethers up against, and whatever our own preferences may be is really nobody else’s business, is it? So really… who cares?
Well, yes. This would be lovely. It would be marvellous to live in a world where everybody cared as little about others’ sexuality as you and I, enlightened folk as we be, do.
It would be wonderful to find ourselves in a world where Ian Thorpe had no need to come out, where the closet did not exist, where it was a matter of profound indifference how we might label ourselves and we could all just get on with our love lives in whatever configuration we liked and in total peace.
It would be simply glorious if we had here a world where nobody cared whether you were gay or straight – in fact, where gay and straight weren’t even things and nobody was forced to fit into someone else’s concept of identity purely because of what they may or may not wish to do with their genitals from time to time.
That would be a beautiful world.
But it’s not this world. We don’t live in a world where nobody cares. And Ian Thorpe has spent half his life having it drummed into him that he sure as hell doesn’t live in that world. He knows he doesn’t live in a world where his sexuality ‘doesn’t matter’ to anyone.
He knows he lives in a world where, even if he didn’t decide to make an announcement in a TV interview with Parky, every media outlet would bellow ‘Thorpe Comes Out’ the moment he was seen in public holding hands with a man or going to an awards night with a new boyfriend.
Because that’s the world we live in: if you’re famous, this world is going to stick its nose in. If you’re famous and athletic, this world is going to get into a tizz over the slightest hint you’re deviating from the norm.
This world is not a world in which the level of caring which you, or I, or Ian Thorpe, might devote to the issue of a famous swimmer’s sexual preference, can hold back the tide of caring that the rest of the world is going to bring to bear.
This is the world we are in. It’s much better than the worlds many people had to live in in the past. It’s much worse than the worlds we wish we could create for ourselves. But one characteristic it possesses with solid certainty is unavoidability.
One might love this world or hate it, praise it or rail against it, try to change it or try to preserve it. But what one may not do is get out of its way. It’s coming for you whether you like it or not. And when you’re a legendary sporting champion, it comes for you harder and more ferociously than most people could know.
I don’t know how to make this world into that world: the one we want to have instead. Maybe the best way is, indeed, to say ‘who cares’, to simply refuse to buy into this world’s nonsense or play its silly coming-out games. Maybe we should, by our example, demonstrate to others how absurd the labels we impose on each other are, and by rejecting them, hope that others will too.
Or maybe the best way is to celebrate each coming-out of the Thorpe kind, to applaud the courage and celebrate the honesty, to encourage others to take that momentous step, so that more and more prominent people – in particular those in the machismo-infested world of sport – feel confident in following suit.
Or maybe there’s another way. Maybe there is a perfect way to respond to Ian Thorpe’s news that I haven’t even conceived of. Because I do not know what the best way to move us forward on this is, and believe me, as a professional loudmouth blowhard I am pretty proud of myself for displaying the humble strength of will required to own up to that. I do not know.
But I do know one thing: when a kid is thrown into a white-hot spotlight in his mid-teens, and from that moment on carries the hopes of a nation on his huge shoulders and enormous feet; when he is forced, as he grows from boy into man, to endure the ceaseless scrutiny of millions of people whom he has never met but who nevertheless feel free to pass judgment on his every success or failure when he must live his life beneath the peering eyes of a public whose desire to deify him every time he touches the wall first is matched only by its eagerness to condemn him every time someone else does…
When all this is accompanied by speculation and innuendo and interrogation and accusation and snide giggles and winking gags about who he might want to have sex with; when from the age of 16 he is forced to field questions about his sexual proclivities alongside those about his performance in the water; when this is the life he is forced to lead because an entire country decided that cheering while they watched him on TV granted them ownership of the man; when that kid has been through all that and survived, and knows it’s never really likely to end…
Well then, he can say whatever he damn well likes about himself, in whatever forum, at whatever time, and to whatever elderly twinkly-eyed Yorkshire interviewer he chooses, and he gets to decide just how important it is.
He’s been through what we could only strive to imagine, and if he has something to say, he’s earned the right to say it. We don’t have to care, but if we don’t, we should feel free to quietly step aside and give this rather extraordinary man some room.
Because it’s not about us.
Dean
Guest
Can you believe his father had this to say in response: Thorpe's father Ken said on Monday his son's revelation was "a shock". "We never had any indication Ian was that way inclined," he told Channel 7. "God loves Ian and we love Ian unconditionally and we'll support him."
mcmanpp
Guest
Listening to Thorpe's words in the Parkinson interview, I got the impression that the question of his identity, not his sexuality, was at the heart of his dilemma as to whether to come out before the Sydney Olympics. He was a world record holder, gold medalist at 2 World Championships, a Commonwealth Games and a Pan Pacific Championship, and still 2 months shy of turning 17. The Sydney Olympics were still a year away but he was already regarded as a champion, honoured as World Swimmer of the Year by Swimming World, Swimming Australia's Swimmer of the Year, ABC Sports Star of the Year, Australian Sports Awards Male Athlete of the Year as well as Young Australian of the Year. A recent article has indicated that the 17 year old Thorpe contemplated coming out ahead of the Sydney Olympics. But in the Parkinson interview, Thorpe stated he wasn't sure Australia was ready for one of its sporting champions to be gay. This perception, even at 17, of himself as a champion is, in my view, telling. In one sense, it doesn't matter whether the consequences he feared most were diminished financial prospects or loss of public regard or the impact to friends and family. What matters is that he gave primacy to his identity as a sporting champion over his identity as an individual. He prioritised the publicThorpe over the private one. This is an unfair burden to put on the shoulders of any 17 year old. There is only one way, in my opinion, to avoid that dilemma for a young person, and that is for every adult and parent to say out loud and often to each and every child in their family and circle that it is ok for them to be gay. In this way, hopefully, the fear of coming out can be abolished for each and every gay youth..
StevO
Guest
Personally, I feel that the whole timing of his 'coming out' leaves a lot to be desired. Every person has the right to either keep their sexuality a secret or let it be known publicly. Its their sexuality and at the end of the day, its no ones business. But in saying that, if you are in the public eye and choose to let it be known, then there are ways to do it. Lying about it in a biography is not one of them. Getting paid 400k and doing a tell all interview several years later when cash is tight is not one of them. Having grown up and going to both primary school as well as high school with him, it was pretty much common knowledge that he was gay and while I would love to say that no one cared, boys will be dickheads and more so to anyone who is different and successful and he did get his fair share of uninformed comments directed his way. I look at this from the perspective of a young kid in high school, who might be struggling with their sexual identity. Thorpe could have done a lot for them either telling Parko that he always knew, but did not have the courage or know how to come out while being heavily in the public spotlight or even had he come out sooner. I am not saying that he made the wrong choice, as like I said earlier, its everyones right to share what they want to share and when. But he could have made a bigger positive impact on young kids, young athletes if he had done it a different way. Doing it this way as most people have seen causes more people to question the timing and the payment than the actual message and that is disappointing and says more about the people reading and watching the news than anything else.
peeeko
Guest
very good point Reality
Ed J
Guest
Dermott Brereton called this years ago. I think it was a Melbourne footy show, when somebody said "people need to lock up their daughters", and Dermott said something like you don't need to lock up your daughters with Ian Thorpe around. More importantly, the main question is why do we make people who are particularly good at one thing have to be accountable for everything. Ian Thorpe seems like a good guy, and there is no doubt he is a superstar in the pool, but how important is the ability to be able to swim quickly for 200 or 400 meters. It might help if you are on a sinking ship, but it wont help if there are sharks chasing you. We create these measures and then we measure people against standards that have nothing to do with those measurements. Todd Carney pisses in his own mouth, and we say that you can't play footy anymore, despite the fact that these two hobbies are entirely unrelated. If Ian Thorpe decided to come out for whatever reason, that is ok, but as a society what does it matter. It does not make homosexuality any less wrong or right because a fast swimmer is gay. Tolerance does not mean that you have to like people choices, but it does mean that you have to respect those choices, and more importantly the right for people to make that choice. Elvis Costello when complaining about the music press said "writing about music is like dancing about architecture", and I would suggest that writing about an athletes sexuality is as equally as irrelevant.
Cugel
Roar Rookie
"I say good for Him" Deification is probably a little much though.
alicesprings
Guest
Ahh Thorpe.. I think the lesson out of this is to manage your money better. Well know fact that he's lived the high life since coming onto the sense. Rightly or wrongly he didn't invest enough money wisely and thus couldn't support his desired lifestyle. Wrote a book to raise a bit of cash..did an interview to raise a little more (400k). Wish i could get paid to set the public record straight..especially when its something everyone already knows! Will be interesting to see what he does from here, apart from his up coming work with channel10.
clipper
Guest
I think Johnno should be given the benefit of the doubt - it is 'Johnno's World' and sometimes comes out (excuse the pun) in the wrong way. One point, which may be controversial - comparing Thorpe coming out to Martina coming out is quite a different concept. Many bigoted people view any powerful woman to be less than feminine and thus to be more likely gay, claiming that gays make up a lot of women's sport. This is the complete opposite of men's sport where the same group of people would never think that any tough male athlete could be gay and is why it is more of a shock when they do come out.
Casper
Guest
Bit harsh expecting memoirs to be the absolute truth, Madmonk. Your nickname is the same as our Prime Minister's & if you have a look at a few of his published works & long held philosophical views, they're not how he presents himself to the public. Interesting that later in the evening after the Thorpe interview I came across the Louis Theroux 'return to the most hated family' show where the bigoted approach to gay people & virtually anyone who didn't agree with the american right wing christian fundamentalist beliefs got an absolute gobful of righteous derision from the show's participants. Lucky Thorpey didn't come out in the southern christian states of the USA, that could have led to lynching as they relate 'gay' to deviance or paedophilia. that baggage & his personal insecurities about acceptance probably forced Thorpe to live overseas for years which is a great pity. He probably needed to clear the air so he could come home to live & earn a crust some time in the future. Hope he can, an articulate ex-sportsman is a rarity indeed.
nordster
Guest
Haha well said on the Germany thing....i thought the same thing....where's Thomas Hitzelsperger when u need him. Maybe by the time straya wins ones, Maty or Mitch will come out :) ...i've got dibs on one of those twink GKs thanks!
AR
Guest
Guys, guys, guys..!!! It's Johnno.
Don
Roar Rookie
So that's your answer? They both won 18 singles Grand Slams. and Evert was the best on clay... Nothing about your premise that Martina never lost a sponsor by being gay? Even Martina herself has said ‘When I first came out in 1981, it was pretty lonely out there. Coming out was not considered a wise business decision. I think the phrase I heard was “career suicide.” I’m told I lost millions in sponsorship, but in my heart I know I gained things of much greater value—the opportunity to live my life with integrity and the knowledge that others might have come out because of my example."
Johnno
Guest
mcnapp you make some good points, for me I reckon the next step is when gay people can show public displays of affection and it's no big deal, people don't get akward or uncomfortable if they see it, just seen as normal. I reckon with the German world cup win if any players were gay and with there partners the media would be talking about it the whole celebration and making it uncomfortable.
Johnno
Guest
Evert beat her alot too don't forget that, and Evert was the best female tennis player on clay ever, and has the best win loss statistic of any female player ever.
Don
Roar Rookie
You say that Navratalova being openly gay didn't cause her to lose any sponsorships. How would you know? Certainly Chris Evert received more off court income than Martina despite Martina beating her regularly. Maybe that is because she was "prettier" or maybe because she was straight and therefor "safer"? I seriously doubt that, given the conservatism of the times, being openly gay did not cost Martina in sponsorship income.
Don
Roar Rookie
No, its called stereotyping Johnno. Saying that he should go on a float, flaunt it, "be proud you are not straight" etc is exactly why a lot of people don't come out. The image of some gay men wearing hot pants in a parade or on a float or dykes on bikes is miles from reality for how a lot of gay people see themselves and want to be seen. There are as many gay men out there who prefer not to associate with Mardi Gras as do. Most would ask why they should celebrate and be proud to be gay when you see no similar parades for people proud to be straight. Those who participate in Mardi Gras are a small representation of the gay community but to many straight people it is the way they perceive all gay people to live their lives. My nephew is gay. He is a 6'4" 115kg bearded monster who looks like a lumberjack, is employed as an mines engineer and is in a relationship with his male partner who is a pretty conservative, right wing leaning accountant. They don't care for mardi gras and just say "each to their own." They have the Peter Fitz attitude of "so he is gay, when does the footy start? pass me a rumbo please." But it took a long time for my nephew to get to the place he is today. He confided in my girlfriend at the time and then in me that he was gay when he was 17. Over the next 6 years I watched him go through all sorts of turmoil while he struggled, not with his sexuality, but how to tell people and what would that mean to his relationships with his mum and dad, at work, at his footy club etc. I watched him turn up to family events with girls so no one would be asking him "why don't you have a girlfriend?" It was heartbreaking and no matter how much I told him his mum and dad won't care, he still couldn't do it. Finally he sought some counselling to help him break down his own fears about coming out and being open. I went with him as support. He is happy now but wasn't for a long time. Saying Thorpie "should have relaxed more" and been like Matthew Mitcham is easy to say when you haven't even walked an step in their shoes let alone a mile. If I told my nephew he should have jumped on a mardi gras float and just been proud to be gay, he would have thumped me and had one felt he had one less person to talk to along the way. I'm sure you have argued your point further down but really, you clearly have no idea.
mcmanpp
Guest
Dear “professional loudmouth blowhard”, I admire that you want Ian Thorpe to be allowed to speak freely and openly on what he wants to say. And I admire your honesty that you “do not know what (is) the best way to move us forward on this”. May I make some suggestions? Firstly, let’s talk about sexual identity, not sexuality. Why? Because this issue is not about sex in the bedroom; that is a straight hangup more than a defining characteristic. Someone who identifies as gay does so mostly from the young pre-sexually active years; and that identity is critically important in first being able to talk openly with parents, family and friends about who they are as individuals, not who they do in private later on. Secondly, whenever the conversation is framed with clichés, you perpetuate those clichés. For instance, “deviating from the norm” reinforces that (a) heterosexuality is normal and anything else is not, and (b) to deviate from the norm is to define a person as a deviant. Why are words so important not to use them in this way? No-one expects every john and mary to immediately stop thinking stereotypically; it takes time. Changing the language we use is the easier first step to changing attitudes. Thirdly, every gay man and woman has the right to speak openly; it’s not a right “earned” only by high achieving Australian sports champions. It’s great that some say “who cares?” and “it’s not a big deal”. But that is false tolerance; in fact for many straights, it’s an excuse to avoid the subject. It is a big deal for gay men and women to be able to talk openly as teenagers about who they’ve got a crush on, and who they’re dating, and as adults, share with friends and workmates the same concerns about their life, health, holidays and future with their partners that straights take for granted. If you think that’s no big deal, look at the World Cup victory celebrations on the pitch at the Maracana Stadium where the German players were joined by wives, girlfriends and kids. Now imagine if one of the players had his boyfriend hugging him and giving him a congratulatory kiss. We are a communal species. Gay men and women live their lives with acute and highly sensitive internal barometers to how gay-friendly and trustworthy are the people they’re working and socialising with. Straight folks (amongst others, Mr and Mrs Thorpe for example) saying expressly out loud it is ok to be gay is a first important step to letting people like Ian Thorpe have permission to speak and then live as a gay man.
Johnno
Guest
Im not being harsh at all all good party now, Thorpey's gay, get the barbyie out and watch the footy as Fitz said on the weekend. It's a celeberation of Thorpey coming out, good luck Thorpey we still love ya.
Ra
Guest
Sorry mushi, it's my fault. I'm a triple-fingered closet button pusher...
Johnno
Guest
Ian Thorpe coming out is about us as well, he didn't have the guts to come out to us during his swimming career. Matt Mitcham did during his diving career, was far more relaxed about being gay, as was Martina Navratalova. And Navratalova was openly lesbian during the 70's man, as was Billie Jean King. Ian Thorpe could of talked to Matt Mitcham, and seen how he pulled it off, he came out he danced on mardi gras float down oxford st, and this was after he came out. I think Ian Thorpe should go on a Mardi Gras float, nothing to hide flaunt, it your gay, be camp have some fun Thorpey. As Fitz said in his article on the weekend, "Thorpey's gay, the footy's on and pass me a beer would ya", Is a good way to luagh about it. Ian Roberts came out during his pro career. Navratalova didn't lose any sponsorships int he 70's and 80's for being lesbian, Thorpey should of relaxed more like Matt Mitcham, Navratalova and others, and chilled out. Parkinson handled the interview beautifully it wasn't tabloid foddler as some reckon, rather he was asking those probing questions about Thorpey's sexuality using all of his old tricks, it was riveting tv watching Thorpey tell all, i'm sure the tabloids and gossip pages were loving it too. Some say it was tabloid fodder for the masses, others say it was vintage Parkinson at his best, the veteran he is. His probing of Thorpey's sexuality was fascinating, and hit all the right buttons for makeing good tv, cutting edge at it's best a ratings hit for the middle-class masses wanting there excitment and sensationalism, but hay the masses love it.